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Old 03-30-2006, 06:33 AM   #1
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Getting a little nervous...

I feel little selfish posting this with as much as some of you are going though but I just need to vent a little. My LEEP is next week and I am getting a little nervous. I have heard it can cause pre-mature birth if I ever get pregnant later and while I don't know that I will ever have children I am only 21 and that day may come. I have been told that the shot they give you makes your legs shake but that you have to stay completely still during the procedure so they don't hit something else while going in. My family and friends are honestly driving me crazy. I love them and know that they are trying to be supportive but some of them act like it is no big deal at all and tell me "Everything will be fine". "You need to calm down". Others act like I am dying, there is no happy medium. The days I want to talk about it I feel like I can't without getting reaction of ohh think of the positive it could be worse, I know it could, I know that but I am still scared. Or that I will make someone worry even more than they already are. The days I don't want to talk about someone always has to bring it up. They don't even know what I have right now because when they did the colp and biopsies they took them from the wrong spots. What if it is more than the severe dysplasia. What if they don't get it all with the LEEP? Where do I go from there? I know I need to stop with the "what if's" until I know, but it's so hard NOT to think about it. It is like I want to prepare my self just in case. "Prepare for the worst, hope for the best", right? I don't know maybe I am turning this all into to much...

 
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Old 03-30-2006, 08:55 AM   #2
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Re: Getting a little nervous...

I am sorry you are going through this and I don't want to sound like your family and friends...but you will be fine. I had a leep last march 2005. I was put to sleep so I don't know how it feels or if your legs shake. I have heard that they do shake and you need to stay still if you are awake for the procedure. This procedure is done over and over again by doctors and women have no problems having children. If there is a problem where the cervix is opening during child bearing then they put a stitch in which is called a curtege (sp?). This is a very common procedure and you should not have problems when it comes to child birth. Please don't worry yourself you are going to make things harder. My leep side effects were 10x better then the colpo side effects. I had no pain just annoying discharge for a few weeks. It is a year later and I still am not getting clear paps but there is nothing I can do at this point. I am done worrying. I am almost numb to it all and just following all of my doctors orders. I go back for a re-pap mid april. I have heard of women (just by reading this board) having to go through several procedures...so to me this is all normal and we should be ok as long as we follow through with doc's orders.
Good luck

 
Old 03-30-2006, 08:59 AM   #3
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Re: Getting a little nervous...

There are many of us here who have been through what you are going through. If that helps, great, but if it doesn't, I'm sorry. You have every right to be concerned about your health. How you are feeling is perfectly normal. The only thing I want to say is please don't make such a big deal over it that if affects your life day to day. Colpo's and LEEP's are necessary to diagnose and treat dysplasia, and you should feel good that you have the mind to go to the Dr. and take his/her advice on treatment. I have had two LEEP's in the last year and a half. Both for severe dysplasia. My margins were clear both times, meaning all of the affected areas were removed successfully. If your margins are not clear, they may need to do another procedure to remove the rest, but I think it's not very common for that to happen. I stressed myself out to no end thinking about having all of these procedures done. I cried and ranted and raved, but in the end, it did me no good to put myself through all that.
I am pregnant now, about 8 weeks, and my Dr. has told me that he will give me an ultrasound early as well as check my cervix length to see if it's competent to carry the child or if I'll need a stitch to close my cervix. He never told me not to get pregnant or warned me of anything remotely dangerous about post-LEEP pregnancy. He only told me about the possibility of needing a stitch. If you are concerned about future fertility, talk to your Dr. about it. He or she knows how much of your cervix will be removed and can better answer your questions about your chances of conceiving and carrying a child to term.
As far as the LEEP itself goes. It is uncomfortable, but in my opinion, having a pap smear is worse. You do need to lie still, and they will give you a shot for the pain, but be thankful you have it because if you didn't you'd be in major pain!!! It makes your heart race for a bit, but I drove myself there and drove myself home an hour later. I hope this has helped you a little. Take care of yourself :-)

 
Old 03-30-2006, 09:17 AM   #4
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Re: Getting a little nervous...

I am really trying to stay calm. I really am, this is the first bad day I have had in awhile. It just seems like it is never going to end I had biopsies back in July (mod and severe dys) then Cryo in August. The another abnormal pap in Jan (mod and severe dys) and they biopsied in Feb but in the incorrect spots. So now the LEEP. It is just frustrating when I think it's done...back to square one, and the I don't knows!! Thank-you cincbcat and tpagm for your kind encouraging words. I really do appreciate them, and really am trying to keep my head up!

 
Old 03-30-2006, 03:54 PM   #5
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Re: Getting a little nervous...

Hey lovethoscurls, we all know how you feel. It is definitely a roller coaster! I went through the same exact feelings you are going through now. Like the others have said, all the what-ifs will drive you mad! I know, because all I thought about was the what-ifs & if it weren't for the fact that I worked during the day, I am sure I probably would have thought about it 24-7!

Anyway, just take it one day at a time. Instead of focusing on negative thoughts, think of positive ones--like they won't find anything & this nightmare will be over or they will get it all & I will have normal paps from now on. It is the only way to get through.

Imagine thinking you will always get in a car accident when you drive or that you'll get hit by a car walking across the street. It certainly is possible, but the chances are slim to none unless you are reckless & bolt into traffic like some crazy person. I compare that train of thought to SMOKING! If you are smoking, you really need to stop & I am almost certain your body will be able to fight the dysplasia a lot better. You would be healthier in every aspect.

So, anyway, don't feel like you are overreacting. It is scary knowing or should I say not knowing what is going on down there, but if they do find something, it should be treatable at this stage. Now if you didn't get paps for years, then I'd worry, but you have been doing great with taking care of your body, so you will get through whatever you find out. Good luck!

 
Old 03-31-2006, 05:29 AM   #6
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Re: Getting a little nervous...

KitKat~

Well the truth of the matter is I didn't have my first pap until I was 21. Just last year. I was not sexually active until I was 20 though. Still almost a year after. I think maybe that is why I am taking this all so hard. I was scared to death to ever go to the Gyno then I finally go and all of this!! You are right though working has helped some and at night I try to keep myself busy but I still can't help but to occasionally let my mind wonder to the "what if's" even though I know I shouldn't. I am just hoping will all be over soon. I really think this site has helped allot. Especially talking with you and Karen. Thank-You!

 
Old 03-31-2006, 09:29 AM   #7
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Re: Getting a little nervous...

Good luck lovethoscurls. I"m here if you need support. its always easier talking to someone else who is going through the same things. It is scary but you will get through it!

 
Old 03-31-2006, 11:27 AM   #8
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Re: Getting a little nervous...

Thanks SL I really appreciate it! Good luck to you as well!

 
Old 04-07-2006, 07:50 AM   #9
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Re: Getting a little nervous...

2 days post LEEP. Wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Now just back to the waiting game "again". I'm still a little sore but feeling pretty good. Thank you all for you encouraging words.

 
Old 04-07-2006, 11:03 AM   #10
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Re: Getting a little nervous...

What was the LEEP like, lovethosecurls?

 
Old 04-10-2006, 05:46 AM   #11
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Re: Getting a little nervous...

Not near as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't feel the numbing ahot at all. It did however make my legs shake very badly and my heart beat quite fast and my face a little warm. Then they put a large cold patch on my inner thigh. When they start the machine it sound like they were running a vaccum in the other room. The only thing I felt during the procedure was warmth. When he was removing part of the cervix it felt pretty warm but that's about it. After it was done I was fine. Went home took some pain meds and slept most of the day. I had cramping for about a day then some mild cramping for a couple days after that.

 
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