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Cancer: Cervical & Ovarian Message Board
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Old 12-07-2007, 04:56 PM   #1
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Very scared, PAP said HSIL

I put off my annuals for several reasons for a long time. Recently went had this done. Pelvic went fine, no problems, no abnormalities seen, everything looked good (cervix, etc..) upon inspection. GP even sent for ultra sound which was normal. So I was extremely upset when the doc called to tell me the pap came back as HSIL (High Grade Intraepithelial Lesions). Went and saw the gyno this week, it was the last day of AF so he just did a physical and pelvic exam, again, exam was normal no abnormalities which would cause concern. However, the gyno has me scared to death because he is very concerned about my HSIL pap result and I am scheduled next week for a colposcopy and biopsy. I am scared to death I have cervical cancer, I can not sleep, I am obsessed over this, I never bite my nails, now I have none, I have bit them down so far they are about to start bleeding, I am so emotional right now, all I can do is cry in private. I try to look at the positives, normal US, 2 normal pelvic exams, normal looking cervix (not that this means anything), I have no symptoms what so ever, (no abnormal/heavy bleeding, no discharges, etc.....) But I have read that cervical cancer is silent. Now every little thing about my body has me thinking I have cancer. The gyno said this result is alarming and there is no guarantee they won't find cancer. I am petrified to say the least, time has literally frozen for me. I know HSIL is a very very bad pap result, and I also was wondering do pap results show up with cancer as a result if cancer is present and advanced? Maybe, sometimes, never? I am at my wits end and scared to death that once the dr. takes one look at me with the colposcopy he is going to shriek and tell me horrific news. Has anybody else every had HSIL results and gone through this only to find out they have advanced cervical cancer? Thanks for any responses.

 
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Old 12-07-2007, 04:59 PM   #2
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Re: Very scared, PAP said HSIL

Also want to add this has totally ruined my intimate life. I am so consumed by this that I refuse to be intimate with my boyfriend. Not because of HPV, I've read alot about it and have come to the conclusion that somebody my age who has been sexually active with more than one partner is bound to have this. I am just flat out plain afraid of intimacy right now for fear I will start bleeding or that I have cancer and all types of weird things will start to happen. This has literally overtaken my life.

 
Old 12-07-2007, 09:05 PM   #3
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Re: Very scared, PAP said HSIL

Hi, I promised hubbie I would refrain from the computer until Tuesday, but I'm sure he'll forgive me ! O.K. I know exactly where you are at.
I've also had a recent Pap come back as HSIL, and indeed am due to undergo colposcopy on Tuesday of next week. I also read about HSIL on the internet and am totally freaked out by what I see documented.
Top and bottom of it is whilst hubbie was at the G.P's surgery (General Practitioner), for an issue related to himself last week, he apparently got very upset and talked to her about my pap test. She apolazised for not explaining things better, and basically said that they are trained to look for things during a Pap test, and if she had seen anything that unduly concearned her, she would have stopped the test and sent me directly for further investigation. I have to admit I'm not that reassured, because as you say, every little thing you begin to see as a manifestation of cancer. I certainly am in keeping with the diagnostic symptomology. But, the G.P. advises the pap test is more than likely nothing to worry about! Yep I'm still worried, big time, but not saying anything more to my hubbie, 'cos I really do not want him to be so upset again. I also suffer from R.S.D. and the stress of this has magnified this condition beyond belief. I'm sure others who are more knowledgable than myself will be along shortly. What I will guarentee you is that I will post you after Tuesday, and let you know how the colposcopy went and if anything was concluded. I hope this helps (a little even)!
Big Hugs,
Julie.

 
Old 12-08-2007, 02:15 PM   #4
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Re: Very scared, PAP said HSIL

Hi Upset.
About a year ago I was in the same boat as you. In less than two years I went from normal paps to CIN 3. Long story short, I had colpos and biopsies and LEEP and more colpos and biopsies, some of which came back okay and others still showed abnormalities. I was a big stress ball for the better part of a year, but having this board as a resource has been wonderful. Try not to worry too much. I know, easier said than done! All of us have gone or are going through similar experiences as you. Just keep being diligent about seeing your doctor, or even getting a second opinion. I ended up switching doctors and my new doctor sat down with me for two hours and went over all my test results, which helped me be less fearful about what was happening. Good luck to you and just keep in mind that this is really a treatable condition!!! Take care!!!

 
Old 12-11-2007, 09:49 PM   #5
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Re: Very scared, PAP said HSIL

Hi, Just a quick update, which I hope may console you somewhat.
As mentioned my pap test was also HSIL, and I also was worried sick. My previous pap test was 5 years ago. Well I had the colposcopy and biopsy today, and I am so relieved.
The procedure was no big deal and the doctor talked me through it. You even see on a monitor what exactly he is looking for. I have one area that he wants to do a loop procedure on, but he was very reassuring.
I truely hope that you feel the same as I do after the fact. One thing I have learnt is not to mess with my health. It is the most important thing we have.
My thoughts are with you.
Hugs,
Julie.

 
Old 12-12-2007, 07:25 AM   #6
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Re: Very scared, PAP said HSIL

Thanks. I had mine on Monday. If it isn't one thing it is another. He said my cervix looked normal nothing unusual nothing showed up but did small biopsy anyway. HOWEVER! UGHHHHHHHHH! He noticed something on the upper part of my vagina which wasn't on my past 2 pelvic exams (one of those being my pap) this has appeared over the past 3 weeks! Now I am scared again. He said he hasn't seen anything like it before. I am just wondering if tampons can cause some type of damage or abrasions to the vagina. I will admit I have been obsessing and stupidly inserted tampons in me to see if I was bleeding when I wasn't on my period. I am hoping this is what it is. He only said we have to wait for the biopsy to come back and he didn't know what it was. HERE I GO AGAIN! So what do I do now? The worst thing ever, I ****** vaginal cancer. I've decided I am going to throw out my computer! LOL. It has literally caused me so much paranoia when you ****** things. He didn't call it a tumor, and I know this wasn't there recently since I have had 3 pelvics in 3 weeks. Wish me luck!

 
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