I'm here. I understand the fear you are feeling. I was also diagnosed with CIN II and III, which later became carcinoma in situ. I had laser surgery last May, and so far, all of my Paps have been normal (knock wood!)
I know how scary all of this can be. But just think, CIN isn't cancer and may never be. And, if the worst should happen and it does become cancer, it is very treatable.
Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. If you need to talk, we're here for you.
I can't possibly thank you enough for getting back to me. It means so much. xxxxxx
My head is not right just now so I don't feel able to talk. Will be online again tomorrow though.
Thanks again for mailing, I really really appreciate it.
Talk to you soon.
Well, this time next week it will all be over so I'm just counting down now.
Feeling more worried with every day that goes by but at least I know it's almost time and then I'll know what I'm dealing with.
Will keep you all posted.
Not long to go now.
I'm not sleeping, can't eat and can't think of anything apart from what is going to happen on Tuesday now.
Im terrified. I know its going to hurt and I just want it over now.
I anyone there?
Alix, I have been through CINIII/Adenocarcinoma In Situ and microinvasive cancer. I had the cone surgery last May. I was so stressed out and where you are right now just a year ago. I am 100% healthy and happy today.
Please know you are doing the right thing getting it out of there. It is being controlled and taken care of. The best thing you can do for yourself now and in the future is to have a good attitude, get rid of your stress, change your perspective and think healthy and happy thoughts. I know you may want to slap me for saying this, but that is how I got through it. Stress is no good for you right now. You have to know you will get through it ok, breathe deep breaths, read a good book, watch a good movie, take a walk, take a bath in therapeutic bath salts... drink tea, watch the birds... relax.
I know it's hard and scary... but try to help your body heal by thinking positive thoughts. It works!!
I'm not going to slap you at all! Don't be silly. I'm just glad to get a response from someone else that has gone through or is going through this nonsense (my pet name for it). So I thank you for replying to me.
I'm not scared at all about what may lie ahead, cancer, hysto, whatever I can take it. I'm only upset that my choice about when /if I have a baby is being taken away from me. My bloke and I have agreed to wait and see how the next leep/loop goes and then make a decision about what we should do re becoming parents.
We're together for the long run and want to have a baby one day but aren't sure at all that now is the right time. If it comes to it we can always adopt when we're ready and know we can give a child what they need. We have plenty of love to give right now but can't financially afford to have another person in our lives.
Fingers crossed the next op will get rid of everything nasty and I can have a baby in a few years naturally. Will have to wait and see.
Feeling amazingly ok about it really. I know what I'm facing and what I might miss out on but there are always ways around thing aren't they?
As long as I can fight this and be around for a long time yet I'll be happy.
Will let you know how Tuesday goes. Thanks again for your support.
Just so you know, I also had a LEEP before my pregnancy and my pregnancy was normal. Then I had my child and 3 years after I had the cone. I have been told I would be able to have another child even though I've been through both procedures. So there is a lot of hope in that department
Hey Alix, good luck on Tuesday. I hope this is the last procedure you'll need. I know what an exhausting mental nightmare dysplasia is. I admire how very sensible you are. If you and your man are fine with adoption and prefer to wait until you can give the child all it needs, which is the right thing to do, then please focus entirely on your health right now. Make some changes in your lifestyle, nutrition, check the other posts on this board from women who have used these tools to reverse dysplasias and prevent future problems. Best to you.
Well, not long now.
Not sure how I feel. Scared of course but more annoyed about having to do this all over again than anything else. One leep should be more than enough for anyone to have to go through. Guess I'm just one of the special ones eh?
Anyway, I have an appointment in 11 hours to get this dealt with again. Fingers crossed it's the last time. I've been told a 3rd time is unlikely so if it doesn't all go tomorrow I have to start thinking about how much I want a baby of my own.
Like I said before though, we can always adopt. I'd just like the chance to see a mini-us one day if you can understand that.
I know it sounds stupid because at the end of the day my survival is most important, I just hate the thought that my choices are being taken from me.
Will post back later and let you know how I get on. Please keep your fingers crossed for a successful and painless (as much as possible) outcome.
Went ok (hurt like hell but I got through it) and I went into shock afterwards so had to stay in for a bit. Just so glad I had my Mum with me. I actually saw what the Dr cut away and it was loads! She says that's nothing to worry about though so am trying not to.
I'm in a lot more pain than I was last time but I expected that. Just taking it easy and resting a lot.
Thanks for your concern/thoughts, I'll let you know how things go.
Getting there. The pain is easing off now and I'm feeling a lot better. Thanks for your post, nice to know you care.
Still bleeding quite a lot (to much info - sorry) but the cramps are nowhere near as bad as they were yesterday. Managed to do a bit of housework today so feel quite pleased with myself. Sad really, pleased that I can do laundry. Must be getting old :-)
I just joined because I had to respond to you/this thread.
I can really relate. I had my first LEEP in Jan. '05. (CIN II) First pap after LEEP was CIN I, but then I had 2 or 3 clear ones after that (you know, the whole "every 3 months" schedule). Then I unexpectedly got pregnant, delivered in Oct. '06, so I didn't have another pap until March '07. (By the way, no problems with my cervix during the pregnancy, carried to term without complications.)
The pap in March of '07 was a CIN II again. I suspect the stress of the pregnancy and of course the lack of sleep I was getting with a newborn lowered my immune system, hence the return of the dysplasia.
I had another LEEP in May '07. At my first follow up pap I told my doctor I wanted to try for another baby as soon as possible--I feel like it's a race against time, I need to finish having kids before the dysplasia comes back! So he said, let's do an HPV test and if it's negative and your pap is clear you can try. Well, the follow up pap was clear but my HPV test came back positive. So I waited. And my next follow up pap was ASCUS. Dr. said let's just watch it. My latest pap (two weeks ago) was ASCUS again. Now I have to get another colpo/biopsy!!! My third!!!
I was so disappointed this time, especially since I'd been really trying to eat healthier, I'm taking LOTS of supplements, drinking the green tea, the works. Initially I was depressed, thinking "what else can I do?" But then I just have to remind myself, this isn't the end of the line. My colpo is scheduled for May 7th, ironically almost a year to the day after my second LEEP. I have a month to prepare, and I am going to EXERCISE, eat 100% healthy (no cheating), increase my folic acid supplementation (I've been on 1.8 mg/day, I'm going to start taking 5 mg) AND I'm going to talk to my doctor about other alternatives to LEEP should the results of the colpo warrant intervention (ie, maybe laser this time, since obviously I can't afford to lose much more of my cervix.) And I'm trying to be positive! Maybe the colpo results won't be as bad as I'm anticipating!!
I'm so sorry to ramble but I'm sure you all can understand how much better it makes you feel to unload...especially with other people who've been through it and know what I'm going through. Can anyone provide any encouraging anecdotes? Also, has anyone ever heard of/done a "vag pack?" It's something that's supposed to help with the dysplasia...
Thankyou for your reply.
I know what you mean about it feeling like a race against time. We're not anywhere near ready (is anyone ever?) for a baby and it's upset us both that the choice of when or if we can have one is being taken from us. It's just not fair and I want to have a tantrum about it but know that won't help anything.
What's the next step for you? I hope the DRs can sort this out and all the exercise/healthy eating (I'm doing the same) helps.
Let me know how you get on, I always appreciate a message from someone that can relate as none of my friends can.