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Sick of this

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Old 03-23-2009, 05:33 PM   #1
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Alix76 HB User
Sick of this

Pretty sure I'm in the wrong place. Sorry Mods, please move...

Managed to fall out with my sister again tonight. Getting tired of this now.
She's gone all preachy on ** about telling everyone to have a smear test cos of what's happened to Jade Goody.
I was messaging her about stuff and just asked if she's been for hers yet cos I know 6 months ago she was saying she should go for one.
Got told off for asking cos she had one in 2007 and it was clear. Apparently I'm overreacting about saying she should have another now.
I just said maybe she should think about getting another soon (cos of what's happening with me) and got told she knows enough about these things to know she is fine.
Funny. I went from ok to severe pre-cancerous cells in 3 months. maybe I'm just a freak and that doesn't ever happen to anyone else. Like she'd know.
Sorry, she's a midwife, not a cancer specialist and she's not been where I am. I was only saying she needs to be careful and chase for checks, same as I've told everyone.
I honestly have had it with my family atm. Can't seem to do anything right so I'm dropping off their radar for the forseeable future.
They just seem to make me miserable.
I'm thinking maybe I'm just being over sensitive atm but I don't feel like I can do anything right.
Yesterday (Mothers day. Had spent 6 1/2 hours making sweets and 1/2 hours picking flowers for my mum and they didn't even get a mention compared to the bottle of perfume and the photo frame my brother & sister got her) is still bothering me. Think I'll just avoid them for a while and see if that helps.
Changed my hospital date to the 18th May so expecting a flurry of interest around then. Will be able to hide until then I hope.
Really want to just say screw the lot of you and have my surgery on the 22nd April as planned. hate that I'm putting it off almost a whole month (and will be sick with worry for that time) when no-one seems to care.
Fed up.

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Old 03-23-2009, 05:52 PM   #2
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LilyL21 HB UserLilyL21 HB UserLilyL21 HB User
Re: Sick of this

That totally sucks Alix. I know how hard waiting can be.

Honestly, I wouldn't have moved my surgery . . . but I'm not really a very nice person, so I'm not sure you should follow my example.

I totally think it's a good idea to just avoid them if they are making you so upset.


Old 03-23-2009, 05:57 PM   #3
Pickle Eyes
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Pickle Eyes HB UserPickle Eyes HB UserPickle Eyes HB User
Re: Sick of this

I'm sorry you have a falling out with your sisters.

I know that I get passionate about HPV, paps, HPV testing, requesting an ECC with a colpo. I know that I can't make anyone else do anything. I can tell them my story. Give them the stats and numbers that I've learned. In the long run though, they have to make decisions about themselves. It is difficult seeing someone you love make a decision that you know could be risky.

It is also very difficult when they get argumentative with me. I feel very attacked and angry. I know what saved my life, maybe literally. I don't want to see my loved ones go through what I had to go through, or anything worse.

In the long run though, I know each person has to live his/her life. I love those people whom I love. I am there to support them as best I can. I just have to remember they are living their life. I am living mine.

I know that doesn't help a lot, but that is what I was thinking as I was reading your post.


Old 03-23-2009, 05:58 PM   #4
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Elizabeth1975 HB User
Re: Sick of this

You know what -- this really upsets me. Screw them -- move your surgery back to the original date and let your brother and sister housesit for your mum.

Old 03-23-2009, 06:10 PM   #5
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Alix76 HB User
Re: Sick of this

Thankyou all. Knew I could rely on you.
I wish I could move my surgery back. I'm so fed up of being treated like I can be at everyone's beck and call since I lost my job "well, you've nothing else to do" Has been said to me so many times it's not funny.
Told my mum about my appt tonight and she said it was funny they'd made it for the one time she's been away in 3 years. Sorry for the inconvenience!
I was so upset I had to cut the call short.
I'm putting i off for 4 weeks for her benefit but no-one even thought to suggest an alternative (like my brother/sister house sitting). Was just a case of "oh well, you can have it later"
I know 4 weeks won't make much difference but I want this done NOW! It would be nice if they'd realise what this is doing to me.
Just so happy I have you all. NO-one understands like you do.
Thankyou ladies.

Old 03-23-2009, 06:10 PM   #6
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luvbug412 HB Userluvbug412 HB User
Re: Sick of this

Tell em' to bugger off Alix... Alix needs to do what she needs to do to be healthy and the heck with the lot (family or not)....(sorry after I watch BBC - I occasionally catch myself typing in an English accent!)...

My friends know more about my situation than my family because I know my family would go bananas over the concept. My step mom knows (she's a nurses aide so I tapped her for info on stuff) but my dad and my mom don't know. If I told my dad he's go crazy and if I told my mom, you'd think SHE was the one needing surgery and stuff.

Sometimes I found things be better left unsaid - its safer that way.

Old 03-23-2009, 06:21 PM   #7
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Alix76 HB User
Re: Sick of this

You made me laugh.
Bugger off indeed.
Just need help dealing with my sister. She thinks she knows everything (but doesn't cos when i told her me treatment options she had no clue).
My parents seem to think she knows best too and that I'm overreacting about this (2 leeps, now having a cone under general so they can get more tissue).
I'm not though.
This is my body, I know what's happening and I'm bl**dy scared! Is that wrong?

Old 03-23-2009, 06:33 PM   #8
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luvbug412 HB Userluvbug412 HB User
Re: Sick of this

Originally Posted by Alix76 View Post
This is my body, I know what's happening and I'm bl**dy scared! Is that wrong?
Not in the least.. and you shouldn't feel like you are in the wrong if you are scared. The fear is a natural response to the unknown.. which we've all faced at one time or another....

***hugs*** .. just sorry that you are going through this without the support of the people you've shared it with. You tell people in hopes that they will assist in your coping with it and then you end up with grief.

And as to your pap being abnormal in 3 months... depending on my current Drs attitude I've either heard "well it was missed because there is always a chance of false negatives" OR "well you've been getting yearlies so it really DID develop into a pre-cancerous condition that quickly". Meh!!! No one call tell you one way or the other on this one.. sad but true

For your sis to be a midwife she sure seems....*my mamma always told me if I don't have something nice to say, to not say it at all*.
Then again like you said, birthin' babies does not a cancer specialist make!!! I had to reread your first post and I do have to chuckle at the comment you made that "she knows enough about these things to know she is fine". Kinda funny, considering how most pre-cancerous conditions that are found using a pap are asymptomatic - call my crazy!!!!

Anyway ***HUGS*** -- go with your gut instinct no matter what it tells you... like I said - you know right for you...

p.s. for anyone else - this gives you permission to kick me in the butt - now if I could only take my OWN advice

Last edited by luvbug412; 03-23-2009 at 06:34 PM.

Old 03-24-2009, 06:37 AM   #9
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Alix76 HB User
Re: Sick of this

Thanks so much Luvbug.
I'm just sick to death of other people telling me they know best when they have no idea what this is like.
Don't wish this on them but why can't they just think before they speak?

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