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Cancer: Cervical & Ovarian Message Board
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Old 07-09-2011, 03:56 PM   #1
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Survived Cervical Cancer, Now What? Why Am I Like This? Pls Let Me Know I'm Not Alone

Hello Everyone. It's taken me awhile to get the nerve to post, but i finally made it here.

I hope someone can help me and that I'm not alone.

I fought cervical cancer and won. I had a radical hysterectomy, I'm 46 with no children and not married and wanted children some day (but that's not possible now), but I'm alive.

After the radiation and chemo, I feel like my body and brain both shut down. Today is the first day I have tried to reach out and live again.

Everyone says it's going to take time before I feel like myself again. Everything seems strange to me, the world seems scary and I don't know why because I fought cancer. I'm a survivor, why does everything seem so strange?

Will this feeling go away? Has anyone else experienced it?

I am also very thin, I came away from all of it with no appetite and weigh about 90lbs with all my clothes and shoes on, I had to be hospitalized in order to have a blood transfusion right after the treatments because i was dehydrated, etc.

I have to force myself to eat and I do because i don't want to go back to the hospital. In other words, it's been hell since I've fought the cancer.

I feel guilty because i don't want to sound ungrateful or not thankful.

I have trouble sleeping and my hormones are crazy. I had to drag myself to the gyn. just recently and he did a blood work-up. I will know more when i see him in a week, but so far he increased my estrogen and gave me progesterone.

I would really like to know if anyone else has gone through any of the same things. I'm still having a tough time.

Thank you so much,

Salty

 
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Old 07-09-2011, 04:54 PM   #2
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Re: Survived Cervical Cancer, Now What? Why Am I Like This? Pls Let Me Know I'm Not A

Hi, Salty.
First, congrats on being a survivor! What a strong person you must be.
I've read that it is not uncommon for cancer survivors to experience Post-traumatic stress disorder because of the trauma of diagnosis and treatment. That could be why you feel scared. It might help to talk to someone experienced in this field, or perhaps you even need some anti-anxiety medication for a brief period of time.

I haven't had cancer, and from what I can tell neither have most of the women on the cervical cancer board here. Most of us have, at one time or another, had precancerous cells removed... but as I'm sure you're aware, that's a far cry from having actual cervical cancer, and dealing with hysterectomy, radiation, chemo, etc.

In fact, one of my pet peeves is when women claim to have (or have had) "cervical cancer"... and then say, "It cleared up on its own, though", or, "I had LEEP/cryo, and that cured it. Since then I've had three kids, and the cancer has never come back!"
It's like, ummm... excuse me, you never had cervical cancer.
I know they don't mean to be dishonest, they just don't understand that CIN is not the same thing as cervical cancer. This is their doctors' fault, really, for not explaining things better.

Many of us on this board had dealings with CIN long ago, and are here trying to educate and support women who are currently dealing with it.
But, yeah, I've only encountered one or two women here- if that- who are actual cancer survivors... and they only had carcinoma in situ, ie. Stage Zero.

You're welcome here, and I'm sure your experience and advice would be very valuable. But as far as finding others with similar experiences... I'm afraid you won't find many here.

Best wishes, and again: congratulations on beating this monster.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 07-19-2011 at 09:55 AM.

 
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Old 07-09-2011, 05:08 PM   #3
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Re: Survived Cervical Cancer, Now What? Why Am I Like This? Pls Let Me Know I'm Not A

Kali, thank you! I appreciate you writing so much! I will try those sites. I really didn't know where to turn. Thank you for your honesty too.

Many hugs,
Salty

 
Old 07-09-2011, 05:14 PM   #4
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Re: Survived Cervical Cancer, Now What? Why Am I Like This? Pls Let Me Know I'm Not A

Kali, is there another board on here you can suggest? I went to those sites and i can read their stories but i didn't see where i can really interact like i can on the healthboards. I feel very comfortable here, i always have, please let me know where i should post on this site.

If anyone knows where i should, it would help me a lot.

Thank you!

l/Salty

Last edited by salty; 07-10-2011 at 04:08 PM. Reason: added

 
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