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Cancer: Colon Message Board
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Old 03-05-2004, 08:07 PM   #1
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Question How Long Can You Go Without Treatment

MY DAUGHTER RECVD A CALL FROM HER AUNT A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO ADVISING HER THAT MY DAUGHTERS GRANDMOTHER (EX HUBBY'S MOM) HAS COLON CANCER AND DOESN'T HAVE LONG TO LIVE.
FORGIVE MY "RIGHT-WINGED" ATTITUDE HERE. AND PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG. THE AUNT TOLD MY DAUGHTER THAT THE GM WAS DX LAST MAY. BUT HAS FAILED TO TELL ANYONE AND REFUSED TREATMENT. HOWEVER, LATELY SHE HAS BEGUN TO PASS A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF BLOOD IN HER STOOL AND HAS DECIDED TO OPEN UP AND TELL CERTAIN MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY. IF A DOCTOR HAD DIAGNOSED HER WITH THIS, WOULD HE HAVE NOT REQUESTED AND PUSHED TREATMENT. MAYBE SPOKE WITH OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS IF TREATMENT WAS DENIED. AND HOW LONG COULD A PERSON GO AFTER DX WITHOUT TREATMENT? I AM SKEPTICAL TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT I HEAR FROM THAT SIDE OF THE TRACKS, PERSONAL REASONS OF COURSE. BUT MY DAUGHTER IS HURTING, SHE IS ONLY 16. I HAVE NOT TOLD HER HOW I FELT ABOUT BELIEVING THE WHOLE STORY. IT IS NOT THAT I DON'T BELIEVE IT, BUT THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS IN THE PAST THAT TRIGGER A MISCONCEPTION BY THESE INLAWS OUTLAWS. I HAVE TRIED TO COMFORT MY DAUGHTER AND BE THERE FOR HER THAT IS ALL I KNOW TO DO. THANKS!

 
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Old 03-06-2004, 08:52 AM   #2
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: How Long Can You Go Without Treatment

Treatment for cancer is a personal decision. It comes down to the decision of the person who has cancer. No doctor can "force" a person to have treatment.
Some people who have Stage 4 colon cancer opt for "palliative" care. Care designed to keep them comfortable for the remainder of their life rather than debilitated by chemotherapy (which is usually in trial testing if the cancer is advanced).

Legally the doctor cannnot even discuss the treatment - of lack of it - with any family members unless the patient has signed a paper allowing it....

By the way, even if someone decides not to have chemo or radiation for terminal cancer, they may still end up having surgery to remove a tumor in the colon if it is obstructing the bowel.

I'm sorry about your daughter's Grandmother. By the time I was 17 three of my four grandparents had died. It was the beginning of one of the toughest lessons to learn in life. My dad died of colon cancer in 2001. He would have been 76 on the day he was buried.
He did all the clinicial trials, oxycontin, radiation, that the medical world has to offer.
But the truth is that our physical bodies DO die. All of us. My dad is still a part of my life - and your daughter's Grandma will be a wonderful Guardian Angel for her just as mine were.
At some point, even if she beats the cancer, her Grandma will die and I know it's hard for you to see her struggling with this. Learning to deal with the stages of reality & grief at her age may well give her strength down the road for when another loved one dies (as we all will).

Does anyone know what stage her cancer is in? I would certainly encourage anyone to do all they can in the early stages (I, III, III) and who knows what help in advanced treatment may be found by those with Stage 1V going thru clinical trials.
But it is their right to decide for themselves....

Last edited by Ruth6:11; 03-06-2004 at 08:54 AM.

 
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Old 03-06-2004, 07:49 PM   #3
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Re: How Long Can You Go Without Treatment

I would have to ditto everything Ruth said. The doctor can lose his license or even be open to a lawsuit if he trys to discuss a patient's medical history with anyone not involved in the medical treatment of the patient(ie. other doctors).

Anyone can also refuse any treatment. Personally, I once refused a CAT scan. (and I am covered by insurance, it wasn't money)

Some people just decide that the grind of treatment is not worth it and that they have either had a good long enough life or conversly that life has gone on too long already.

 
Old 03-08-2004, 04:54 PM   #4
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Re: How Long Can You Go Without Treatment

THANK YOU FOR THE RESPONSES. I AM TOTALLY HERE FOR MY DAUGHTER. FOR BOTH OF THEM ACTUALLY. I HAVE TWO. BUT THE YOUNGER ONE DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS YET. THEY FELT SHE WAS TOO YOUNG. I DISCUSSED IT WITH MY OLDER DAUGHTER LAST NIGHT AND JUST TOLD HER TO LOVE HER GRANDMOTHER WITH ALL OF HER HEART, BECAUSE NOBODY IS PROMISED TOMORROW. OF COURSE, IT HURTS HER. BUT I GUESS ME OPENING UP WITH HER TALKING MAKES HER FEEL A BIT BETTER. THANKS AGAIN!

 
Old 03-08-2004, 08:30 PM   #5
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Re: How Long Can You Go Without Treatment

Children are small and inexperienced in life but not stupid. They know something is going on and that it is not good. It helps to have an adult explain things rather than have them come to erronious conclusions on their own.

 
Old 03-09-2004, 05:51 AM   #6
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Re: How Long Can You Go Without Treatment

CONSIDERING SOME OTHER ISSUES IN THE FAMILY AT THIS TIME CONCERNING MY YOUNGER DAUGHTER, I DO THINK IT IS BEST. IT WAS NOT INITIALLY MY IDEA TO CONCEAL THIS AND IT WILL EVENTUALLY BE TOLD TO HER. HOWEVER, SHE IS VERY FRAGILE RIGHT NOW AND I DON'T WANT THE ICEBERG TIPPED. I WOULD LIKE FOR HER FRAME OF MIND TO BE AT EASE A LITTLE BEFORE ADDING MORE ON HER PLATE. ONE PERSON CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH EMOTIONAL PAIN. I PRAY! THAT IS MY ANSWER!

 
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