Please reply!!! STAGE4, rectal cancer - Cancer: Colon Message Board

gidget · 02-04-2002, 05:27 AM

There are alot of people that might view this please reply if you can give any advice if you are not a momber join in there are too many views on this post and not enough replys!
My mom is 71yrs old with dx of adenocarcinoma of the rectum with lymph node involvement and at Stage 4. Any of you out there in this boat? What about treatment, is it worth it at her age and stage? The closest thing to major illness in her life was gallbladder surgery and she does not do well in hospital with the IV, ect. She looks at chemo like a antibiotic IV!! She has no clue and does not live in "reality" if she doesnt like it. I am worried about her sufferiing too much and wonder if "NO TREATMENT" would not be a more peaceful and less tramatic death? Remember she is 71 and my dad has alzheimer and I am a patient at lymphoma clinic at MDACC. I cant think past OH MY GOD most of the time here lately. My son is 25 and can not take care of all this and should not have to!!!!!!!!!!!!I worry most of how he will be when we are all dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ADepressedGuy · 02-09-2002, 09:08 PM

You may not get any answers, there are rarely posts on this board, cancer in that area usually has a poor prognosis, and Im just glad to hear she has led a full life incase anything does happen. I dont think you should ask on advice on how to let her go, but talk to your brother, talk to her, talk to EVERYONE involve din the family, just to get opinons, and decide together, her desicion is always the most important though so I would go with whatever she says...I wish I could be more help

gidget · 02-09-2002, 10:26 PM

Hey there,Depressed Guy, thank you foor posting a reply. I do not need advice as much as input to this situation so thanks for your words and caring enough to reply.
I have noticed that this board is real slow and it does not make much since the amount of people that veiw these posts are high in numbers, but not many have or want to say anything, I guess?.....

Aerosmith22 · 02-10-2002, 03:24 PM

Well, Im kind fo suprised not many people reply, this is the third leading cause in cancer deaths in the USA. Do you think she can handle the therapy? I've seen many people I cared about go through it, it's very intense for them... Some can't make it in older age, and I've seen some get A LOT better. Never seen it in Colan/rectal cancer... but I did see it in other sceanrios. You should know a lot more than me though, I think you listed having a condition yourself. I had Gallbladder surgery, I had it removed...and if she didn't take that well, I don't know how she will handle chemo... If she wants to continue on and not pass natrually, Go with the chemo, it's not a guarnetee, but a hope at least... but leaving this all on a son would be hard, does he have a wife, family? What's his take on all this?

gidget · 02-10-2002, 06:10 PM

Thank you Aerosmith for your reply. I have no clue as to why the board is slow but I am on lymphoma board and it is same there too. My mom is a nervous wreck. I just got off phone with her and she is so put out over the time it is taking to get approved to go to MDACC. It is out-of-network for her to go and our first try did not go through, they said that the area drs were qualified to treat my mom's cancer. Those area drs do not want to or do not treat her type of cancer. We saw the only surgeon on this plan and he is a good one buy he said this would be too much for him to handle and the only place to take care of her is MDACC!!! I will be going tomorrow to MDACC for my clinic visit and a biopsy report so I am going to go by her house so I can try to calm her down. I do not see why she is so impatient but maybe she is confused. Being in stage 4, she is as bad as it gets and hurrying to surgery will not save her life, it will make it worse having to get a cholostomy and all. She is 71 and talks as though she will not take the chemo anyway. So with this in mind she should not be so angry over the time it is taking to get appeal process sttarted. She only turned the papperwork in on thursday so you know they will not look at it till monday. That is the way protocal is for this type of situation. The heart of the problem is her being upset over dad and his alzheimer disease, he has not made things very easy lately instead he has been quite a handfull and he has no clue to mom having cancer but he understands that she needs to go to the hospital and keeps briinging her money to pay for it. Our life is a bit difficult and my 25 yr old son is holding his own with it all. He lives there with my parents and is engaged to marry. She goes to U of T at Galveston branch for radiology career. They were waiting till she got out of school to get married. If they marry now it will be a marriage where she only has him on the weekends. He works close to where my parents home is and would be to far to drive if he lived in Galveston. His job is a good one and would not be wise to quit to try to work somewhere around Galveston annd she has a year or so more to go before they would be able to live together on full-time basis. I think they would do just fine to marry now, he is there fri, sat, and sun night with an extra wed night too every now and then. I think he needs her now and I have told him my thoughts on not waitiing with my blessing. Time will tell all, it is the unknown that is so hard! Thanks for you caring reply, gidget/sunshine