colon cancer, too late? scared - Cancer: Colon Message Board

cardinal · 09-30-2003, 07:02 PM

My best friend has colon cancer. He keeps it hushed. I finally got him to talk. He says there is nothing that can be done. He refused chemo. He is an alcoholic,and has not eaten. I know for fact, that in the last 2 wks he has had nothing but wine and beer. No water, nothing else. He can't walk well and sleeps most of the time. He gets delirious and then snaps out of it. He is the kindess person I have ever known. He still has his humor and encourages me. I myself, have problems with my health, but not terminal. Can he survive this long without eating? I/ve tried everything. He swore me to secrecy from talking with his family up north. He is 52. I am scared I will wake up and he will be gone. I am keeping him with me he has a condo to go to not far from me, but I am scared to leave him alone. He wants to detox himself, he does that every other month. I don't want him to do it this time in fear of it killing him. Detoxing is so hard on his heart and throat. I'm sorry to ramble but I have nobody else to talk to about this. Should I let him die his way? respect his wishes, but its so hard. Is this the end for him am I looking for false hope? He says hes had this for about 2yrs?

smiley2u · 10-01-2003, 08:57 AM

Why did he refuse chemo? That is all that will help him. Drinking is one of the worst things he can do. Colon cancer metastises to the liver first. He need medical treatment if he is going to live. It will help him.

cardinal · 10-01-2003, 04:36 PM

I am so upset, but relieved. I tele my friends doctor up north. I told him about the not eating etc. I came right out with the colon cancer deal. The doctor was surprised! He wouldn't comment but when I sd I think he is manipulating me to be an inabler to his drinking the doc sd your on top of things! so, what a cruel way to get sympathy! I know he is sick, mentally and physically but I have involved my family with the situation and we all were sad. Now to get him up north for help. I wish all of you who really do have this health issue all the best hang in there and god bless!

HoosierBj · 10-04-2003, 10:30 AM

Do you have any way of knowing what Stage your friend's cancer is in?
People do have the right to refuse medical treatment, and in some advanced stages people stop chemo so that they can feel more comfortable in their remaining time. It can come down to not wanting to prolong their death.
When you add the alcohol issue tho, it does seem a bit odd - unless he is using alcohol for pain control on top of his addiction??

[This message has been edited by HoosierBj (edited 10-04-2003).]

Trish510 · 10-04-2003, 01:47 PM

Hi, I am new to this board. I am scheduled to have a colonoscopy Oct. l0th. I am fearing the worst. Last month I had bright red blood in my stools and I have a very itchy anus (which I guess is another sign). The Dr. asked if colon cancer ran in my family. I am expecting the worst. What prompted me to go in the first place was I had unexplained anemia. I am bleeding somewhere I guess. This is soooo scary. y husband and I went to a new Dr., he was referred for more tests as was I. Found out he has prostate cancer and me possibly colon cancer. I still can't believe this is happening. He is 51 as is I. I will keep you all posted. What a life changing experience!!!!!!!!!!