Late stages, what to expect? - Cancer: Colon Message Board

whtnowblonde · 10-08-2003, 11:36 PM

My Mom's doctor has said she is in late stages of colon cancer which has spread to her ab******l area and the lining of her lung. Her one doctor said 3-12 months, but didn't sound too optimistic and made it sound more like in her opinion we were looking at the shorter time. Her onocologist doesn't really give "time limits" and I can see why. What should we expect? Her breathing is really bad and she is on constant oxygen now, but can still get up and outside for short times. Her chemo is only going to reduce pain and lengthen her life now, but I am wondering with it having already moved into other area's how quickly things can get really bad. Any experience with this as a caregiver, or yourself? Thanks, any advice would help.

lotsoquestions · 10-09-2003, 02:27 PM

Hi,

I am so sorry to hear of your situation. I am the main caregiver for my mother-in-law who is also in the late stages of colon cancer. Her doctor too has said most likely 12 months or less, but says he has seen some go as long as 2-2 1/2 years.

There are no easy answers. If you are in close contact, meaning day to day routine care, you will know when things are going downhill. I can tell by my mother-in-laws eyes, movements, etc.

Classic things to watch for are a decrease/interest in eating, more sleeping, lessening ability and/or lack of interest in moving about, etc.

My Mother-in-law shows all of these signs, and also is on 24 hour oxygen. Nevertheless, some days are great, others very difficult. As the hospice nurse tells me every person is different, the doctor's are giving you their opinion based on past experience.

Whatever your bottom line turns out to be, I would try to enjoy what time you do have with your Mom, and to be there for her. In the end it's all you can do, and you and she will be so happy you did.

Best wishes, and know that my thoughts are with you.

Heidi

whtnowblonde · 10-09-2003, 03:19 PM

Heidi,
Thanks for your reply. My Mom is already showing signs of lack of interest in eating, as she is only taking a few bites of a meal, if that. She is on oxygen and I am pretty sure it will be permanent. Both her lungs are partially collapsed. She still seems determined to go on, but she has only had two treatments, so far in this round, so you never know how she is going to be. Is your Mom on chemo? My Mom is taking the normal 5fu/luekovorin and also Camptosar. I know she is dreading her hair falling out. Last time she was on chemo it did not. I am not with her all the time, because we live about an hour apart, but I do try to get over there every other day, or so. Well, thanks again for your reply and if you have any other ideas, please let me know.
Lori

HoosierBj · 10-11-2003, 08:16 AM

Hospice is an EXCELLENT resource, and I can't sing their praises long enough or loud enough!
Your Mom's doctor will be very familiar with Hospice; there are some criteria to be met (a 6 month prognosis) etc, but these people are the most wonderful, knowledgeable, caring people I have ever met.

My Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer in Sept. of 2000 (it was already in his liver). He had chemo, clinical trials & radiation, but by January there was evidence of colon, liver, lung, bone & probably brain involvement. He died at a Hospice House (many people choose to stay at home and Hospice will come to you) in early February of 2001.

I found several websites about Hospice just by putting it in a search engine. Some have alot of information that you can print out about what to expect. It helped me ALOT - other people are helped just by Hospice coming in to give them a respite for a few hours.

I miss my Dad alot, but the best gift he ever gave me was that I'm no longer afraid of dying myself. That I can help others who are afraid of losing a parent, and that I'll be giving him a hug myself again down the road..
Hang in there and come back often -

lotsoquestions · 10-11-2003, 11:21 PM

Lori,

My Mom-in-law is not on any treatment due to the fact that she had severe emphysema prior to her diagnosis and is now also struggling with mild to moderate dementia. Due to these complicaions, we, as a family, with the doctor, did not think that chemo/radiation were in her best interest, nor would they probably prolong her time.

She spends almost all day in bed, with breathless trips to the restroom.

She doesn't remember her diagnosis, nor why she stays in our home from day to day, much less hour to hour. Every day is a struggle.

My grandmother passed away due to complications of lung cancer last August, and as previously stated, hospice is wonderful. If it has not yet been considered, please consider it, or at least, keep your options open.

Time is short and precious, I appreciate that every day. Revel in the time you have.

Let me know how you are doing - I will be hoping for the best.

Heidi