edema and end of life? - Cancer: Colon Message Board

whtnowblonde · 10-27-2003, 09:43 AM

My Mom has Stage4 colon cancer and has her good and bad days, but doesn't have a lot of time left. The latest she is experiencing is Edema. She is very thin and her ankles are huge! We had them propped up last night, but I feel bad that they hurt and was wondering if anyone has dealt with this? Is this a sign that things are shutting down? She isn't eating hardly anything, but she was on oxygen 24 hours and has weaned herself off. She seems determined to fight, but I feel she is suffering. Any advice is appreciated!

HoosierBj · 10-28-2003, 07:12 AM

If you or your Mom's oncologist have not already talked to Hospice this would be an excellent thing to do for both you and her. Hospice is a caring, compassionate organization and since my Dad's death from colon cancer in 2001 I have spoken of them to anyone who might have need of them.
Here is a very specific portion from one of their articles on the signs and symptoms of approaching death.
It was very helpful for me to know what to expect ahead of time... Some people would rather not know, please feel free to disregard the link in that case. My mom was an R.N. so I was able to read with a little more detachment than most at the time.
[url="http://www.hospicepatients.org/hospic60.html"]http://www.hospicepatients.org/hospic60.html[/url]

Please keep in touch, this is a really rough time and you can always come here because someone here has been where you are. We have information, but we also have understanding.

whtnowblonde · 10-28-2003, 09:26 AM

Thanks for the reply and your kind words. It's very helpful. I know my Mom is dying and have for a while now, but she has ups and downs, so it's hard to pinpoint exactly what is happening and when it will take place. She has Stage4 colon cancer, but is on chemo right now. She knows it's not a cure, but wanted to extend her life and relieve some symptoms. I think in some ways it's making it worse with all the side effects, but she seems determined for now. I know what you mean about being able to research things and be able to put your feelings aside. I have done a lot of that as I have always been interested in medical problems. Some days I get really sad, but I have to hang in there. I think my Mom is hanging on for my daughter's birthday, which is Nov.13. I know she doesn't want to die before that. She is going to be 10 this year and that probably worries her the most, plus my Dad died the day after Christmas, so the holidays have taken a long time to enjoy again. It' so hard to watch someone suffer and I hope soon she just goes peacefully in her sleep. The worst part is that she has never had anything wrong with her up until last year when she was first diagnosed with stage3 colon cancer. It's been a long year to say the least. I have 3 kids, so being supportive is hard at times. Her edema started a few days ago. It's in her ankles right now, but I imagine it will get worse. She had a good day yesterday and even cooked dinner, but like I said she is just pushing herself I think because of my daughter. She has done everything listed on that web site! She finally had a will done and visited relatives, went to a class reunion, etc. She suffered for it though, because when she returned she was on oxygen 24/7. I will let you know what happens. I have seen many of your posts and they are all helpful. The doctor's don't say much, but about a month ago her one doctor did say she had about 2-3 months. Do you think that sounds accurate considering everything? I think her organs may be starting to shut down since she has the edema. Let me know what you think. Thanks

HoosierBj · 10-29-2003, 08:42 AM

Boy, that IS a tough one.
Guesstimating how long someone will live is a little like predicting when a baby will actually be born.
The passage seems to be on it's own timetable on either end of life. It can come earlier and it can come later. And not alot you can do to predict!

I do know how you feel about the chemo. Dad was in clinical trials and seemed willing to do them right up until it just wouldn't have been physically possible without an ambulance. He also had radiation but only for palliative reasons since the cancer had spread to his hips & spine.
The radiation was ok, but man, that chemo (for a Stage 4 patient) is pretty rough in my book.

You certainly have your plate full. One of those mixed blessings I am sure. I know that it is REALLY important to look out after yourself. Your Mom certainly fits the major criteria for Hospice and they are there for YOU just as much as for her...

And, it IS entirely possible that your Mom will hang on to her physical life right up until she decides to let go. (like her grandchild's birthday!) But either way, I can just about assure you that she'll be at that party in spirit if nothing else.

I hope that you'll keep in touch so that I can kind of walk a ways with you and your Mom. It would be nice to hear about your Mom, what kind of person she is, what she did, etc. Maybe later?

Take care of yourself - meals - sleep.
Hospice can help.
Don't I sound maternal for someone who never had kids!