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Old 09-20-2006, 06:43 AM   #1
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Carrie1970 HB User
Question Worried about my fiancee....

Hi all,

I am very worried about my fiancee. He told me yesterday that for about the past year he has had blood in his stool. He said the blood is not on the toilet paper, but rather floating like marbles in the toilet bowl. He said they might be clots?? I have never heard of such a thing and now I am in a severe panic. I have panic disorder, so I have elevated all fears to the extreme. He also said he feels tired all the time, but occasionally gets a pain in the back of his leg and headaches. He has a pretty stressful job, and has a horrible diet. He eats a lot of nuts and slim jims. LOL.

He is going to the doctor this morning. He is petrified of any sort of tests or something going up his bum. I understand the fear but I want him to have whatever test needed to find out what this is! He is 38 years old.

My mom just passed away 2 weeks ago from uterine cancer so I am scared beyond belief about my fiancee now. I have googled like crazy and crawled all over these boards and it seems like blood almost always points to cancer.

Any advice? I am really worried.

Carrie

 
Old 09-20-2006, 07:23 AM   #2
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Re: Worried about my fiancee....

Hi Carrie,

I can imagine your anxiety and am so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a mother is so hard. I am glad your fiancee is seeing the doctor today. No-one likes tests but it is the only way to find out what is going on. It does not HAVE to be cancer. But the only way to find out is to get all the necessary tests to eliminate that possiblity. Even if it is, it is no longer a death sentence. You will read many stories on this board from inspirational people who are doing well, even though they were diagnosed with advanced colo-rectal cancer. But your fiance is not at that point now, there can be several conditions that can be causing his symptoms ...let us know how his appointment goes. I do hope your minds can be put to rest very soon, so you do not have to suffer so much anxiety, especially at this time of grief for you.

Love and prayers,
__________________
Husband dx July 2003, advanced rectal cancer stage 111C; myself dx July 2006 indolent lymphoma; husband dx February 2010, stage 2 prostate cancer.

 
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Old 09-20-2006, 08:16 AM   #3
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hiswife1 HB User
Re: Worried about my fiancee....

Hi Carrie,

I am so sorry about the loss of your Mom. I know that just 2 weeks isn't enough time for the grieving process and then this on top of it is a lot to deal with.

I agree with Alison, it doesn't necessarily mean that your fiancee has colon cancer. But, it is good that he is seeing the doctor. That way whatever it is can start being treated. My husband was diagnoised over 2 years ago with Stage IV colon cancer/mets to liver. He is doing really well and living live to the fullest.

Please come back and let us know what you find out. I will keep you both in my prayers.

 
Old 09-20-2006, 08:34 AM   #4
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Re: Worried about my fiancee....

Thank you so much for the nice posts. My fiancee just called me after his doctors appointment. The doctor is running a bunch of blood tests. Ed said the doctor didn't say anything about what it "could" be. He is seeing a GI specialist next Wednesday.

I guess the doctor did an exam and there was blood visible, and also Ed had tenderness on one side, which the doctor said is the colon.

I feel like a total jerk because I am so worried and I know I am making him worried. I know I should be comforting him right now and telling HIM not to worry. I am just still in such a shock and grief over losing my mom. I am petrified of losing him too. I love him with all my heart. My mom only survived two years after being diagnosed, and those two years were spent going to radiation, chemo, in and out of the hospital, and feeling sick.

I just can't believe this could be happening again. Is there anything else that could cause blood like that?

I wish I could just calm down and not think the worst!

Thanks for listening,
Carrie

 
Old 09-20-2006, 09:16 AM   #5
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hiswife1 HB User
Re: Worried about my fiancee....

Hi Carrie,

I know it is hard not to think the worst during this time but it really may not be cancer. It could be polyps causing the bleeding or something like that. If it is colon cancer it isn't an automatic death sentence.

My dh has had a colon resection, 2 liver resections and ablation, plus a hepatic artery infusion pump implanted. He is receiving treatment directly to his liver with this pump because this last time they couldn't get all the cancer. There are so many things they can do now that couldn't be done even 10 years ago. I am telling you this to let you know there is always hope. I know that is hard to believe with you just losing your Mom, but if it turns out that your fiancee does have cancer he can be treated.

Don't feel like a jerk because I am sure that your finacee understands. This is so hard, especially when you are waiting for a diagnosis. Try to keep a positive attitude, DON'T read the statistics because they are outdated, besides we are not statistics we are people and take care of yourself during this time. By taking good care of yourself you are better able to cope with all that is going on.

Hope this helps some.

 
Old 09-20-2006, 11:09 AM   #6
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CancerDad HB User
Re: Worried about my fiancee....

Carrie:
I know it is easier said than done, but PLEASE, try not to worry. Stress is NOT good for either of you. Also, there is NO SENSE beating yourself up over what you should or shouldn't have done. Just concentrate on today forward--most importantly!

As for Ed-- clots like you are describing are called mucoid clots, or clots associated with mucous. The fact that he has tenderness where his colon is probably indicates polyps or a tumor of sorts. It doesn't have much to do with his diet, although the myth is out there that it does. Studies DO show that a diet high in fiber can reduce your chances of colorectal cancer, but that really doesn't make a difference now. Bottom line is some people get polyps (sometimes completely benign--harmless) or tumors (usually pre-cancerous polyps that become tumors-malignant) no matter what their diet.

The important thing is what others have said... if it is cancer, there are MANY available treatments that are creating many new survivors from advanced colorectal cancer (me being one and many others on this board).

The next step IS for Ed to see a GI specialist and get a colonoscopy which is NOTHING. I know you said he is afraid of procedures, but this REALLY is nothing. And he won't know what it is until he has one. The hardest part is the prep... but, if he eats lightly for a day or two before the prep, then it goes much smoother and he will have less diarrhea. He will be medicated for the colonoscopy... and if he feels ANYTHING uncomfortable, all he has to do is tell them and they should give him more meds and he will drift back to sleep.

Please know that you have come to the right place... there are many people on this board who can help to relieve yours and his anxiety, and if diagnosed, can be a tremendous support system for the both of you with our experience and knowledge, we can help with most anything.

I wish you both the very best and look forward to hearing from you soon. I'm sorry for meeting under these circumstances, but welcome nonetheless.

Regards,
CancerDad
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ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!

 
Old 09-20-2006, 11:32 AM   #7
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Carrie1970 HB User
Re: Worried about my fiancee....

Thank you again for the replies - you have all calmed me down. CancerDad - I have read some of your story on old postings. You really are an inspiration.

It is good to know that there are others out there like yourself, and HisWife's hubby, that are surviving this. I think my mind is especially warped right now after losing my mom. We really thought she would get better. My mom was 61, not very old, but certainly not 38 either. She also ignored symptoms for years, which is why I am stressing to Ed that he has to find out what the problem is sooner rather than later. I am hoping his love for me, and understanding of what my mom went through, will be enough for him to deal with his "things in the bum" fear, and have all necessary tests done.

For my lunch break I went and had a big Starbucks iced coffee and re-focused on making him feel better and being there for him, rather than turning this into a "poor me" and "I" can't handle this right now Carrie-tantrum. I know he is worried about his own health right now, and he is also worried about how this is affecting me, so I want to try to make it easier for him. I am going to cook him a nice steak dinner and have a nice relaxing, cuddling, nite.

I will keep you all updated on how things go. I am glad to have found you all here, you are a wonderful group!

Hugs,
Carrie

 
Old 09-20-2006, 02:21 PM   #8
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hiswife1 HB User
Re: Worried about my fiancee....

Hi Carrie,

That sounds like a wonderful plan. It is supprising how just eating good food and just doing something totally normal will lift your spirits. dee

 
Old 09-27-2006, 06:18 AM   #9
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Carrie1970 HB User
Re: Worried about my fiancee....

Hi again,

Ed just got back from the GI. The doctor said Ed's bloodwork was totally normal, which I am assuming is a good sign. The doc is not sure what it is, tho, and is going to schedule a colonoscopy. The doc mentioned possible internal hemorrhoids - could that cause the symptoms Ed has? (clots of blood, thinnish stool, loose stool).

Ed is seeing his primary doc later this morning too.

We are both still a nervous wreck. This waiting is just terrible!

Thank you so much for all of your help!

Hugs,
Carrie

 
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