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Old 10-05-2011, 03:27 AM   #1
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Need Straight Answer No Sugar Coating pls

My step father earlier this year was diagnosed with colon cancer. Just not the way most people would have had it done. Evidently he had been urinating feces for aprox. 5 weeks then had his roomate call an ambulance for him. So this is what I know - He's end stage (?????), K he had a tumor in his colon which protruded his bladder. So, they removed the tumor and portion of colon and upon examination of bladder also found malignant stones. they repaired the bladder (its sorta smaller) he has a colostomy. By time I was notified it was aprox. a month after surgery. He had already chosen not to do Chemo. After a few months of chasing a Dr I finaly was able to have a small discussion. At the time my step father was having a lot of pain at the surgery site radiating all the way to his back. So trying to gat information from the Dr didn't happen only thing that happened was how he nicely stated to me that dying from colon cancer is not fun and I needed to speak to him about chemo. So I did. This week begins his last round. They told him that it would onlt prolong his life by 4%. So I guess what I'm asking is what are the Doctors not telling me. I don't want him to know any bad news, but I surely don't want to be blind sided either.

Thank you to any who will just give me brass tacks
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Old 10-09-2011, 01:30 PM   #2
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Re: Need Straight Answer No Sugar Coating pls

I'm sorry about your step-father. Yes, colon cancer is not a fun disease. Every case is so very different that even those of us who have lived it are reluctant to give our 'opinion' on another case. Being able to talk to his dr will give you the most reliable info. Again, i'm sorry.

 
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Old 10-09-2011, 01:39 PM   #3
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Re: Need Straight Answer No Sugar Coating pls

Thank you for replying. This area I'm totally lost in though. Because he's in like a hospice type medical home, you'll be lucky to catch the doctor. Been trying to get him to explain it to me. I still have no clue what End Stage means. Any info or some type of knowlege would help or even knowing what to ask, would help greatly. Thank you again for replying
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Old 10-11-2011, 12:12 PM   #4
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Re: Need Straight Answer No Sugar Coating pls

Sorry to hear about your step-father.

I won't sugarcoat it for you, but your step-father has terminal cancer. It's perforated his bladder and has, most likely, spread elsewhere.

The term "End Stage" is used to describe someone who has a very short time to live. The cancer has spread and is beyond cure. The only thing that would be available is "Palliative treatment" - pain management.

Good Luck.

 
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Old 10-11-2011, 09:09 PM   #5
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Re: Need Straight Answer No Sugar Coating pls

Ok I sorta figured that. They just started him on chemo. He has one more set of treatment to go through. So I can only guess that it is for comfort. They told him that it would only give him a chance of 4% life. So is it OK to assume that this is just to make it easier for him??????

Thank you for your replies they are greatly appreciated
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Old 10-11-2011, 09:26 PM   #6
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Re: Need Straight Answer No Sugar Coating pls

I just lost my mom to cancer last week. I didn't believe the doctors when they told me she was going to pass away. This is the worst situation in the world. Her main physician said the oncologists were wrong and she was going to make it. Than he dissapeared. I miss my mom so much and all day everyday i've been trying to imagine different scenarios. The best advice I can give anyone else going through this is to spend as much time as possible with your loved one who's in this terrible situation.

 
Old 10-11-2011, 10:12 PM   #7
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Re: Need Straight Answer No Sugar Coating pls

This is the exact reason why I am trying to find out whats really going on. In March of 1990 my mom bit her tounge nearly in half. Well she was one of these people that were scared of doctors. Her tounge swelled so much that she couldn't even drink before she went to the doctor, this was in September. They gave her some meds for the swelling did a biopsy and found out she had cancer. Right away she started Lynac treatment had sugery and all appeared to be fine. She caught a cold and rescheduled an appointment. The next day she began coughing and within moments began bleeding from her surgery site, ears, nose and mouth. Then they life flighted her. So when I say her the next day she was in ICU and appeared fine again. They told me that a new tumor had come up at her corataid artery and that it caused the artery to burst. Well I was only 20 at the time and pregnant with my 3rd son due in a few weeks. What they didn't tell me was they couldn't repair the aretery and she may have a stroke. Anyway I went home that night happy thinking it was all ok. I received a call early the next morning saying she had a stroke. She never walked or talked again, and was placed in a nursing home.
After being placed in the nursing home my step dad (the one sick now) and his mom, my Grandma kept telling me she will be ok and would be coming home soon. About 3 months into the stay at the nursing home I was invited by the nures to a special meeting to meet a Nurse who Specializes in Cancer. It wasn't until that meeting did I know my mom was terminal. I had not seen the surgery site since before the corataid burst. The Nurse asked me to see if mom would allow her to examine this area. The whole time her entire neck had always been wrapped in gauze. When they took it off in front of me, I can't even explain how I felt. Mom's neck in its entirty was black and in pieces. Just all dead meat. I never said anything to my family for not telling me, but the hurt I felt. Well anyway I just don't want any surprises with him. He stayed with my mom everyday through this. She passed away in June of 91. Its my job to see to him and making sure everything is ok. I just don't want the surprise. Not again.

Babieboi I am so sorry about your mother passing. It's very hard to deal with. When mom passed as much as I wanted her to stick around I also know I didn't want her to suffer anymore. Prior to being sick even though she was only 51, she lived a very hard life. Her birthday just passed she would've been 72. I also know that although my step dad won't admit it, he's been ready go. My mom was the love of his life.
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Old 10-12-2011, 12:24 PM   #8
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Re: Need Straight Answer No Sugar Coating pls

Hi iluv,

Unfortunately the only option for your step-father is pain management. There really is a very small chance of survival.

Colon cancer tends to spread to bone, stomach, bladder, liver, lungs and lymph nodes etc. I would be very surprised if he didn't have disease in other parts of his body.

The chemo treatments will shrink the tumor(s) and help to control pain. He will probably be put on further medication if the pain starts to get worse after chemo. (see excerpt below)

Opioids, which are used for moderate to severe pain, can cause constipation, nausea, sleepiness, confusion, or hallucinations. Several opioids are marketed under various brand names, but the generic names include fentanyl, hydromorphone, methadone, morphine, oxycodone, and oxymorphone. Opioids used for breakthrough pain include fentanyl and fentanyl citrate. Also, short-acting versions of hydrocodone, hydromorphone, morphine, oxycodone, and oxymorphone may be used. Be sure to tell your doctor if you experience any side effects from your pain medication, as most side effects are easily treatable, sometimes by changing the timing, dose, or type of drug.

I work at a very well known cancer centre, so if there is any further information that you need I would be more than happy to forward it to you.

Best Wishes

 
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Old 10-12-2011, 02:00 PM   #9
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Re: Need Straight Answer No Sugar Coating pls

I am waiting on some test results now and call backs, so I will see what comes about with that. I surely may need your help again.

Thank you So Much
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Old 10-19-2011, 02:49 PM   #10
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Re: Need Straight Answer No Sugar Coating pls

Quote:
Originally Posted by iluv View Post
My step father earlier this year was diagnosed with colon cancer. Just not the way most people would have had it done. Evidently he had been urinating feces for aprox. 5 weeks then had his roomate call an ambulance for him. So this is what I know - He's end stage (?????), K he had a tumor in his colon which protruded his bladder. So, they removed the tumor and portion of colon and upon examination of bladder also found malignant stones. they repaired the bladder (its sorta smaller) he has a colostomy. By time I was notified it was aprox. a month after surgery. He had already chosen not to do Chemo. After a few months of chasing a Dr I finaly was able to have a small discussion. At the time my step father was having a lot of pain at the surgery site radiating all the way to his back. So trying to gat information from the Dr didn't happen only thing that happened was how he nicely stated to me that dying from colon cancer is not fun and I needed to speak to him about chemo. So I did. This week begins his last round. They told him that it would onlt prolong his life by 4%. So I guess what I'm asking is what are the Doctors not telling me. I don't want him to know any bad news, but I surely don't want to be blind sided either.

Thank you to any who will just give me brass tacks
Well, I can only speak from experience. My son was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 30. he is not 36 going on 37. He had a colostomy, then it spread to his liver and he had a liver resection. He's had brain tumors, kidney tumors, bone cancer, and so on and he's till here. Your grandfather's seems very advanced so what I would say is prepare for the worst and hope for the best. It depends on his age, his overall health, but the fact that he doesn't want chemo is not good. Wishing the best for you.

Last edited by alioop908; 10-19-2011 at 02:50 PM. Reason: Corrections

 
Old 10-19-2011, 08:47 PM   #11
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Re: Need Straight Answer No Sugar Coating pls

Well he changed his mind and decided to get the chemo. The problem I see is although he appears to be ok I know hes not. He had the surgery in feb. The decision to get chemo was in july. he had some complication a week or 2 ago and postponed his last set, but this is his last round. But in reality he layed up sick for 5 weeks maybe more before deciding to go to the ER. the whole time urinating feces. I mean the tumor in his colon protruded his bladder and they found malignate stones in his bladder. They gave him a colonascopy and repaired the bladder wall. He gats around ok most days, and he stays sorta high to keep out of pain right noe percocets every 4 hours. I mean but that bad of a case I mean it just cant be good. I know that it has to be travelling through the lymph nodes. They said that the chemo would prolong his life by 4%. So the chemo has to be just to relieve pain and ease up his overall discomfort. Just wish they would tell me more than O HES DOING GREAT. I have a power of attorney, they are about to get on my last nerve.
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