It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Cancer: Esophageal Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-23-2008, 03:48 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: northern ireland
Posts: 9
trisha666 HB User
just found out my dad has cancer of the oesophagus.

my dad has recently been diagnosed with cancer of the oesophagus. he isnt well enough to have chemo or radiotherepy, so there wont be any chance of prolonging his life. he is going to have a stent fitted to allow him to be able to eat and "make quality of life better". im finding it difficult accepting that my dad is dying even though anyone can see just looking at him that hes not long for this world. i guess i thought my parents were immortal and im coming to earth with a bump. id really like others in similar circumstances to answer my thread just so i know im not alone. thanks for reading my story, hope to hear from someone soon, trisha.

 
Old 08-24-2008, 02:27 PM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 43
Twiddles HB User
Re: just found out my dad has cancer of the oesophagus.

Trisha, I am so sorry to hear of your dad's illness. Wow. That's just totally devastating news. I know how you feel because my Mom died a little over a year ago of pancreatic cancer. And now, just 2 months ago, we found out my husband has very advanced kidney cancer. It is so hard to lose a loved one. When we found out my Mom was sick, she was very advanced like your dad. She didn't even have a chance to fight. No chemo. No radiation. She was totally consumed with cancer. They told her she might have 2 months to live, and she died in just 3 weeks. Believe me, Trisha, I know how helpless you must be feeling right now. It is the most awful feeling in the world. And there's just not a thing you can do about it. The feelings you must be going through, the heartache, the dread....please just know you are not alone. There are so many other people experiencing the same thing who are here for you, to listen and give support when possible. God cares, too. It may not seem like it at the moment, but He does. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Nancy

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-24-2008, 05:06 PM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: northern ireland
Posts: 9
trisha666 HB User
Re: just found out my dad has cancer of the oesophagus.

hi Nancy, i didnt think anyone was going to reply to my thread, im glad you did though. It sounds as though youve had your fair share of troubles too, im so sorry you lost your mum. I hope its not too forward of me, but is your husbands cancer treatable? My dads cancer was caught by accident when he had a fall and broke his hip. while he was in hospital they noticed he couldnt keep food down so he had a camera put into his stomach to see what the problem was. we knew then it was bad. he suffers from parkinsons disease and the doctors told us it was normal for sufferers to experience gagging, but nobody checked for other problems so he just went on suffering. i have researched oesophagal cancer and it wouldnt have made a difference if it had been caught early as the outlook for sufferers is bleak regardless. saw him tonight and he looked so thin i was afraid to touch him for fear id hurt him. so sad to see my big strong dad go downhill in a matter of a few weeks. anyway nancy i hope all goes well for your husband and i will be thinking of you, love and best wishes, trisha x.

 
Old 08-25-2008, 03:45 AM   #4
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 43
Twiddles HB User
Re: just found out my dad has cancer of the oesophagus.

Hi Trisha,

I hate cancer!! I hate hearing stories like those of my mom, your dad, my husband, and so many thousands of other people right now in the world who are in "the cancer nightmare," as I call it. It isn't fair. It is so weird, for me, to think that both my Mom and now my husband were so far advanced with their cancer before it was discovered that very little could be done for them. How can you be so near death and not have more symptoms? It just blows my mind. And it is scary, too.

With my Mom....well, she was 66 years old. She died exactly one and a half years ago, although it seems like just yesterday. She was one of those people who was meticulous with her health. She watched her diet, had all her routine mammograms, pap smears, blood work, etc. She did everything possible to be healthy. About 4 months before she died she was starting to have a mild indigestion and a little abdominal discomfort. It was nothing major, and she went about her normal business thinking it was just a little indigestion or nothing serious. After a few weeks it became a little more persistent, and she went to the doctor. The doctor told her it sounded like gall bladder symptoms, and they did an ultrasound which showed one gall stone, so they scheduled her to have a minor laporoscopic surgery to remove her gall bladder.

Feb. 23, 2007. She went into surgery thinking when she woke up her troubles would be over. When they did the surgery, though, they found her completely full of cancer, in every organ and all over the place. They didn't even do the surgery...just stitched her up and when she woke up they told her she had very little time left. She was gone just three weeks later. It was so fast, so sad, so heartbreaking. In fact, I am still in shock and disbelief. It was the most horrible thing I've ever been through.

Now, less than 2 years later, we find out my husband has kidney cancer. And just like with my Mom...absolutely no symptoms until it was too late. Dave is 64 years old. In about April of this year we noticed he was losing weight. He wasn't dieting, but he was happy about that because he had wanted to lose a few pounds. But the weight loss continued, fairly quickly, and in 2 months he'd lost 30 pounds! We just figured it was due to stress and his work. He works outside in the heat lots of times. He repairs radio station transmitters, and those transmitter rooms are very hot. Sometimes he'd work all day in there and sweat off several pounds, so we thought little of the weight loss. But then in June he got a bad cold. Sore throat, fever, cough. He went to the doctor and got antibiotics which helped the sore throat and the fever, but the cough wouldn't go away. The cough was so bad he couldn't sleep. Went back to the doctor, and she ordered a chest X-ray. The next day she called and told us Dave was scheduled for a CT scan. The CT scan showed a large tumor in his left kidney, a smaller tumor in his right kidney, tumors in both adrenal glands (on top of the kidneys) and at least 15 different tumors in both lungs. Also the lymph nodes in the chest and lung area are full of cancer. The prognosis is not good. Right now he's on a new drug called Torisel which he gets once a week intravenously. We think it is helping because Dave isn't coughing any more, but the side effects have been horrible. Dave doesn't want to die. He said the side effects are worth it if the Torisel is getting rid of the cancer.

That's why I'm up so early this morning. It's 0540 right now. Dave has his CT scan at 7 o'clock, then we see the doctor at 10 am. to discuss the results, then he has another chemo treatment. It's going to be a long day. I'm so scared. I hope the CT scan gives us some hopeful news. We know his cancer is far advanced, and it is not curable. But Torisel and a few other drugs like it do seem to sometimes slow the progression and give the person a few extra months, in some lucky cases maybe a few years. We're hoping Dave will be one of the lucky few.

Dave's best friend from childhood, Lonnie, died of esophageal cancer 4 months ago. And my uncle in Kansas also died from esophageal cancer. It is a hard road for the poor person to have to go down. And I know how you feel, Trisha, it is so hard to sit back and see our loved ones struggling like this. It is such a helpless feeling. I was just getting over the shock of what my Mom went through when BOOM! Now I'm losing my husband, too. I can't believe that in our day and age there isn't a way for people to get screening early, before the cancer is so far advanced that nothing can be done about it. Seems like a yearly routine CT scan should be done for everyone. That would prevent a lot of this stuff because if the cancer could be caught early then there would be some way to treat it. In your dad's case, my Mom's, and my hubby's....it's too late.

Hang in there, and let us know how you're doing.

Nancy

Please keep us in your prayers.

 
Old 08-25-2008, 06:05 AM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: northern ireland
Posts: 9
trisha666 HB User
Re: just found out my dad has cancer of the oesophagus.

oh nancy, youve been through such a lot. i feel so bad for you. we dont know how long dad has but im hoping its a lot more than a few weeks or months, im not prepared to say goodbye yet. i was always my daddies girl and he spoiled me rotten and still did until this horrible illness got a hold of him, so i cant face life without him. i always thought he was immortal and never faced the prospect that one day he wouldnt be here for me. that sounds like a very childish point of view considering im 39 and have two grown up children of my own but dad and i did everything together, he taught me how to drive, use a chainsaw, and hunt as we lived in the country {and rabbit was a weekly meal}. all the things a dad does with a son but my dad didnt have a son so i became a "tomboy" and did the things a son would do. he was so proud of walking me down the aisle at my wedding, then he couldnt wait to get to hospital to see his first grandchild then the second. im lucky i guess that ive got wonderful memories of him that will always be with me. my daughter told me recently that she was pregnant and we thought he would even get to be a great- grandad but she lost her baby thank goodness he didnt know or it wouldve broke his heart. some people would say at least he had a full life, at 73 i suppose he has but i expected him to live pain free and die peacefully and that doesnt seem as if it will happen now. he is such a good person and would do anything for anyone without a second thought and i hate that he is dying in such a horrible way now. sorry to go on, youve enough worries of your own to contend with and im sorry for all the pain cancer has caused you and your family. its not nice to know others are surrering like my dad, but it is nice to know we are not alone in this. thank you for being a friend and listening to me, i hope we can continue our chats for a long time to come. please keep my updated on your husband as i will be thinking of you both, and yes you will remain in my prayers x, trisha

 
Old 08-26-2008, 08:07 AM   #6
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 43
Twiddles HB User
Re: just found out my dad has cancer of the oesophagus.

Hi Trisha,

I love the way you describe your memories of your dad. He sounds like such a wonderful person. I look around today and see so many people who have not had such good fortune as you and I with having such wonderful memories of their parents. Those memories can never be taken away from you. Long after your dad is gone, you will still have the memories to comfort you and you will always know the great love this man has for you. I remember the movie "Ghost" (starring Patrick Swayze), in the end when he was about to go to Heaven he told the girl, "It's the love inside. You take it with you." And I really do believe that. Your childhood was wonderful and carefree, and you knew a loving father who adored you and has always adored you. That is such a blessing! My own father left when I was 2 years old, and I never saw him again. I was lucky to have a wonderful stepfather who accepted me and loved me just as if I was his own child. Even now, with my Mom gone, my Dad (stepdad) and I are very close. Some people just have such a big heart. Your dad is one of the special ones! And now, at least you have some time with your dad to tell him how much you love him and how many special memories he has given you. That will mean a lot to him.

I really feel your pain, Trisha, especially when you talk about how good your father is and how he doesn't deserve to suffer like this. That's the age-old question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" If you ever find the answer, let me know! I have been through all the same feelings with my Mom and now my husband. Why her? Why him? There are so many rotten, horrible people in the world, why does my Mom have to suffer like this? Why not someone else? Yeah, been there, done that. I don't know the answer.

On a lighter note, we got the results of Dave's CT scan yesterday. Wonderful news!! All of his tumors...all of them....have been reduced by 20-to-30% in size!! They're shrinking!! The Torisel is working well so far. Our doctor did go out of his way to tell us that most people do have an initially good response and that the average span of time that this drug works may only be a few months, but I am hoping that my husband will beat the odds and be one of those people who gets better than average results. At least we are going to get some more time. That's all I asked for. Some good, quality time together before he dies. They say the 1-year survival rate for someone with stage IVb kidney cancer is onlly 5%...but I always said, well, my Dave is going to be one of those 5%. He's a tough old bird.

Trisha, I enjoy your messages. ( removed )

Nancy

Last edited by moderator2; 08-26-2008 at 01:06 PM. Reason: posted contact info

 
Old 08-26-2008, 02:46 PM   #7
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: northern ireland
Posts: 9
trisha666 HB User
Re: just found out my dad has cancer of the oesophagus.

hi nancy, sorry ive taken a while to answer. dad got out of hospital today [only for two days] hes gonna have lazer surgery to shrink the tumour in his gullet so he can eat, so we both got some good news. it wont give him any extra time but at least he will be comfortable. ive spent most of today at mum and dads house so wasnt able to check my thread. im so happy for you that Daves tumours have shrunk i think its great news. nice to have some positives for a change isnt it? im afraid i have to go now, i promised mum id help her to put dad to bed so im going to have to sign off for now but will check in again tomorrow. thanks for your reply hope to hear from you soon, love and hugs, trisha x.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
I just found out i have Uterine cancer april08 Cancer: Uterine 39 05-28-2010 10:03 PM
Colon Cancer confirmed - Surgery Questions weezee62 Cancer: Colon 3 04-26-2010 11:40 AM
Cancer of the esophagus?? frankiesmom Cancer 3 08-04-2008 03:44 AM
Does this sound like Stomach Cancer to any of you? wildcat2000 Cancer: Stomach 1 05-10-2008 04:32 PM
Oesophagus Reflux will cause left arm and shoulder and neck pains? kbala2379 Acid Reflux / GERD 0 10-09-2007 01:40 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



donna70 (3), Stretch1one (1), rudiraven (1), BB07 (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (910), Titchou (859), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (671), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:38 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!