All are in my thoughts today. As most days. I am sorry if we all dont get the chance to chat as often. Seems like a lot has been going on for all.
I havent had it as hard yet. I know we all have the strength to get through this. I will continue to be a shoulder to lean on. I know its not the same as being there in person. Wish there was a way I could!
Please keep in touch and I will have you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Ellen , you are a great lady. You have been through the journey and yet continue be a support to others. Thank you for that!! Remember we will be here for you also. As the journey will never be over.
Mary Jean, You have such a heart. You are right to have others help. You need to be what you are Stanleys wife. As you are and have been and I am sure will continue to be a care giver too. I praise you for your strength and compassion. We all are here for you as well. For as long as you need.
Nancy, You are family !! Your very welcome here. I know its not a place any of us wanted to meet. However friends do help and your correct it makes you not feel so alone and think your the only one. I had never heard of RCC until dad got diagnosed and now its around every corner.
Jackie and Keith are especially in my prayers and thoughts. Miss u girl.
To all my friends here thoughts and prayers as always.
Dad will see doc on monday and will let you all know whats going on. Had pet scan yesterday. CT tomorrow. I feel it inside things will not be good. He is in more pain and well anxiety is really getting bad. Dont want to jump the gun here. I'll let u all know next week.
Friends !
no better word to describe what we all are to each other.
Thanks for all the kind words to everyone.
The CNA came here and did such a wonderful job and he did so good with her and my sister. I stayed out on the patio and let her do her work.
Another day with him here physically but not my Stan.
I love and so and I love him enough to let him go on home with our LORD.
Blessings to all every moment in our lives !!!!!! Mary Jean
{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} to you and Stan.
I am there with you. Just in not in person. I wish I could be though. I think you are a wonderful woman and you are doing a wonderful job.
Please keep us posted and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Hello to all
We are still on our journey and things here are ok. At times there is monents where Stan is kind of there with me if that makes sense to anyone. I treasure those times and YES it does give me hope that he will get up and be ok but I also know I need to be realistic.
He is total care and I know how awful this would be for him so every day I tell him it is ok to go if he is ready and that I will be ok. That is all I can do. I HAVE to keep reassuring him but I also know he can see right through me. He can tell , he knows me so well but I keep telling him in the beginning it will so awful but as time goes on it will be tolerable and that he will always be in my heart as I know I will be in his.
I pray all is doing as good as can be expected !!!!
I come to this thread every so often to vent and to see how every else is doing.
God Bless Love Mary Jean
It seems that the other thread was moved to the Death and Dying folder.
How are you holding on Mary Jean?
I was numb for many days..... Actually it took me a few weeks for reality to hit me. I am sooooo sorry for you and for all of us.
Take good care of yourself in the next few days and weeks. Drink lots of water and eat healthy foods. Grieving is very draining on the body.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I really do not know what I can say to take away your pain. I know your family is strong and you all will get throught this.
God Bless you all and know that you are in my prayers.
I am here and like Ellen I don't think reality has hit yet so I am fearful what will happen when that happens but I will deal with this somehow. Mary Jean
I hope you are all doing well, despite the circunstances.
Mary Jean, I think of you everyday, wondering how you are doing. I'm just a bit ahead of you in this journey that we don't want to take but have no choice. I miss my husband so much it is just unbelievable that he is not coming back.
i tell myself that I just need to take one step at the time and I will make it to the other side of this pain. I hope you are holding on ok.
It has been very helpful for me to find sites that deal with this journey of grief we are in. There are sites for widowed people only and I have found that it is very helpful to talk with people that are going through exactly what we are going through.
I still come and check in here because you end up caring about the people you exchanged here. But it has been very helpful for me to find other widows and widowers.
One day at the time is what I keep telling myself. I don't look more ahead than a few hours at the time.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I appreciate so much the love and support here on this forum. When many of you have already lost a loved one to cancer, for you to still visit the forums and support people like me who are just now going through this horrible fight, that is amazing to me. Thank you for caring! Mary Jean, I have thought of you often and pray for your strenghth and comfort through this horrible time. I hope you are doing okay.
I would like to ask you all a question please. Is it normal for someone with kidney cancer to have really good days and then suddenly out of the blue have bad ones? Dave was doing quite poorly about 6 weeks ago, then he started the Torisel treatments and they have really helped him. He seemed almost like his old self for a while (he had some pretty bad side effects, but overall he did well). He is tired all the time, and he really has to make sure he gets adequate rest and nutrition, but other than that he's seemed almost normal for the past couple of weeks.
Suddenly, a couple of days ago, he started to get worse again. The mouth sores are coming back, and that is very frustrating for him. Last night he complained of just feeling lousy, and he had some weird pains in his upper abdominal area, across the top part of his stomach. That really scared me. The pain went away after about 3 hours. He was just complaining about feeling rottten, and I rubbed his back and noticed he was hot. He had a fever of 100 degrees. He hasn't been having fevers for nearly a month, and now they are back.
Part of the problem is that I just don't know what to expect. Is it normal for someone to go up and down like this? I feel like I'm sailing in uncharted waters right now. Thank you for your input...
Nancy, yes is the answer to your question. However I hope that hubbys doctor is a aware of all and any new symstoms. I know you are a nurse and a a great one. We just dont know what these treatments can and will do to those we love. We have to wave the pros and cons most always.
Please advise on how hubbys is doing and just know you are in the thoughts and prayers as are the others.
Dad goes for an MRI of his neck on Monday 18th as he has some nodes near the jugular that are active. Not sure what this means or what can or will happen. Please pray for him as well. He is now starting a new treatment Nexavar as the sutent hes been on for 22 months is NO longer working for him. I know the first few months are tough with a new treatment. However he really had a good run with the sutent. I fear the sides will be a lot harder on him with the new drug.
As I told another person on another kidney cancer thread, find the story of Steve Dunn and use him as a starting point for your search. You will find a lot of useful information through him.
Kidney cancer usually behaves differently than other cancers. My husband had good times and bad times, fever and no fever times, and on and on.
Good luck to you.
Wendy, I hope your dad will have a good run on nexavar.
You are all in my thoughts.
Ellen
Hello everyone,
Just checking in to see how things are going for everybody.
I am ok. Miss my Stanley more than words can say BUT I know he is in heaven and without that my life would be horrible.
I plan to go back to work at hospice full time on Sept. 15th. I may go back the week before for 2 days , just haven't made up my mind on the 2 days just yet.
There hasn't been anything on this board for so long , we CAN'T let this board end completely because there are so many out there that need us and so many more to come sad enough to say.
Waiting to hear from all. , Mary Jean
SSOOOOO glad to hear from you. I have had my thoughts with you. I know there has not been much posted here in some time, I know I have waited until you and Ellen were ready again. I feel that the time was needed for the warriors that are no longer with us.
However I am so glad that you want to continue to be support for those that are still fighting this battle. You are a true support.
Thank you for that.
Update on my father. He started his new medication on Tuesday. So far things are okay. I think he is waiting to see what his sides are going to be. This is the time of year they get ready to think about going south for the winter. Not sure if and when that will happen.
I am having a family/friend gathering this weekend and he is looking forward to it. Its a "JUST BECAUSE " party. As I know he enjoys them. Hope the weather holds off. I am extremely tired lately as I have not been sleeping well. I have thought about all of this to much I think. I just pray all the time for "time" I am sure you did as well.
Thanks for listening and if we need to start a new post please any one jump in. As always thoughts and prayers to all.
Wendy and all our CANCER WARRIORS ,
My Stanley IS in heaven and there is no more I can do for him, it is more like what he can do for me now that he is my guardian angel. I no longer have him as in the physical sense BUT I still have him emotionally and spirtially.
It hurts real bad at times but it IS better than what the cancer would have eventually done to him. I KNOW because I work with it sooooo much.
And as for coming back every so often we all are still friends and still fighting the same disease. I am still fighting for all those that have it and are yet to get it because I never know when or if it will knock on my door again, I PRAY not but reality is it probably will.
So take comfort that I am still here with you and everyone else, just maybe not as often but when I do come here I will write and ask and look to see how all is doing.
GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!! Mary Jean
Hello,
I was recently diagnosed with a "suspious" mass on my left kidney. I need more tests, etc. I read your message about Steve Dunn. I did a search & came up with nothing. Any info greatly appreciated!
I suspect cancer.
Becky
Kidney Cancer Warriors WL 
