Twiddles

Hi,

Boy, can I ever relate to what you're going through with your brother! I lost my Mom to pancreatic cancer just a little over a year ago (she only lived for 3 weeks after we found out about her cancer), and just as I was finally starting to heal emotionally from that trauma, one month ago I found out that my husband has stage IV kidney cancer. He has a tumor the size of a grapefruit on his left kidney, a smaller tumor on his right kidney, metastases to both adrenal glands, both lungs (over 40 different nodules in the lungs), AND the lymph nodes in the chest. We've been devastated, of course. I cried nearly nonstop for a week after we found out about this. You are not alone. You will find many people on these forums and others who are going through the same thing.

I don't know your brother's situation, but if he is in fairly good health otherwise then his chances are better. My husband is 64 years old. I know age comes into play a little bit here. Your brother is fairly young, and if he's not already experiencing a lot of symptoms then he might just surprise you. Don't throw in the towel just yet. I think a lot of it has to do with attitude. After the initial shock and devastation when you find out about the cancer, then you have to find a good oncologist and formulate a plan of attack and fight, fight, fight! Keeping a positive attitude really helps.

I can't offer you a lot of answers. My husband and I are in uncharted waters here, too. We don't know what tomorrow holds in store for us. What we are doing is taking one day at a time and thanking God for each good day He gives us. We're enjoying life as much as possible and appreciating those little things that formerly seemed to go unnoticed.

My hubby is currently inoperable due to the horrible spread of this cancer all over his body. I still can't figure out how someone can be so close to death and not even know it! Dave is on a treatment once a week, intravenously, with a drug called Torisel. And I have got to tell you, this Torisel has helped Dave tremendously. Prior to starting the Torisel, he was coughing nearly continuously due to the lung and lymph node mets. He couldn't sleep because of the coughing. He couldn't lie on his back or on his right side because he would just cough nonstop. About 2 days after starting the Torisel his cough completely went away! He looks and feels so much better now. He's due to have another CT scan in 3 weeks to see if the tumors are shrinking, but I can already tell you they are. How could they not be? This man is like a whole different person with this medicine. Now, our doctor has told us that there is usually a good initial response to Torisel, and the challenge is to keep it going long-term (the chances of that are not good, according to the stats).

I don't think your brother's situation is totally hopeless. I think the doctors can say whatever they want, but in the end it's still up to the Man upstairs. I honestly don't think a diagnosis of stage IV kidney cancer is an automatic death sentence. At least, I hope not, because we're in the same boat as you. I will be praying for you and your family. Sorry my answer wasn't more helpful. I'm new to this, too. There are others here on the forum who will be able to give better answers. Just know that you're not alone.

Nancy