My closest friend has just been given the word. - Cancer: Lung Message Board

lttlbgft · 02-06-2004, 12:11 AM

Margaret is my closest friend and today she was given the word by the doctors. The spots on her lungs are cancer. Incurable. She just won a battle against Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma but it would seem that it has had the last word as the cancer in her lungs spread there from it. I don't know what to expect and can't seem to find out much on it. They have given her six months to a year. I wish I knew what to expect so I would be more prepared to handle the punches as they come. She is only 41, this will be very sad to watch but I'm with her till the end.

Richard

kiddo · 02-06-2004, 12:46 AM

Richard,

I am sorry to read about Margaret. Being with and listening to her and keeping track of doctors appointments are several ways you will be able to help her. A diagnosis from a doctor is based on statistics...I'm sure if you ensure she has a positive mindset she will outlast their predictions. Focus on today as we cannot predict what happens tomorrow.

As I was told here recently for my Dad, stay in the moment. My Dad passed away a week ago today from Lung Cancer. He was only diagnosed 6 weeks prior. It was most unexpected, as he was given a year to live..but regardless of how many weeks he had, by living moment by moment, my 6 weeks felt like years in my heart. I could not take away his discomfort, but I loved him, talked to him, spent every spare second I could with him. I take great comfort by simply knowing I was there.

There are lots of great people here for you. I am not familiar with the Carcinoma you refer to, although I hope these general comments can help you.

Be strong
Kiddo

lttlbgft · 02-07-2004, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiddo

Richard,

I am sorry to read about Margaret. Being with and listening to her and keeping track of doctors appointments are several ways you will be able to help her. A diagnosis from a doctor is based on statistics...I'm sure if you ensure she has a positive mindset she will outlast their predictions. Focus on today as we cannot predict what happens tomorrow.

As I was told here recently for my Dad, stay in the moment. My Dad passed away a week ago today from Lung Cancer. He was only diagnosed 6 weeks prior. It was most unexpected, as he was given a year to live..but regardless of how many weeks he had, by living moment by moment, my 6 weeks felt like years in my heart. I could not take away his discomfort, but I loved him, talked to him, spent every spare second I could with him. I take great comfort by simply knowing I was there.

There are lots of great people here for you. I am not familiar with the Carcinoma you refer to, although I hope these general comments can help you.

Be strong
Kiddo

Thanks Kiddo but I was hoping for some info from people on what to expect. I remember my mother passing from Liver Cancer. One of the worst memories is of things that would happen and none of us knew if it was normal or not and often it would throw us in to panic mode. I want to be strong for Margaret but I also want to be able to face the various changes, that I am sure are ahead, with a calmness that reassures her. It is very important to me to have some idea of what kind of things I might expect to see from her/her body so as to limit the surprise or more importantly the surprise expression. Maybe if you or others who are ahead of me in this could share some of the situations you faced I could get a clearer picture of what we are in for.
I am very curious about your father 6 weeks after he was given a year too. It would seem, from what little info I have found, that the doctors are almost always way off the mark when it comes to judging the time left. Most of what I found was people who were given a year and then passed in a short 3 months. I would also like to add that my mother was given 6 months and lived for 13 months. With out going in to details I will tell you that I wish she had left us at 6 months. The longer it went on the worse it got, obviously.

Thank you
Richard

lttlbgft · 02-07-2004, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lttlbgft

Thanks Kiddo but I was hoping for some info from people on what to expect. I remember my mother passing from Liver Cancer. One of the worst memories is of things that would happen and none of us knew if it was normal or not and often it would throw us in to panic mode. I want to be strong for Margaret but I also want to be able to face the various changes, that I am sure are ahead, with a calmness that reassures her. It is very important to me to have some idea of what kind of things I might expect to see from her/her body so as to limit the surprise or more importantly the surprise expression. Maybe if you or others who are ahead of me in this could share some of the situations you faced I could get a clearer picture of what we are in for.
I am very curious about your father 6 weeks after he was given a year too. It would seem, from what little info I have found, that the doctors are almost always way off the mark when it comes to judging the time left. Most of what I found was people who were given a year and then passed in a short 3 months. I would also like to add that my mother was given 6 months and lived for 13 months. With out going in to details I will tell you that I wish she had left us at 6 months. The longer it went on the worse it got, obviously.

Thank you
Richard

Sorry it takes so long for me to reply. I am a truck driver and I am sometimes gone for a few days at a time. Thanks again-Richard