Update on Step-Dad Diagnosed in late Aug - Cancer: Lung Message Board

MichelleP · 02-24-2004, 10:16 AM

On Aug 31, 2003 I posted "Non-small cell lung cancer & liver metastases". Six months later I would like to share what has come of this horrible illness for my step-dad.

Since he was diagnosed with Stage IV Non Small Cell Lung cancer with metastasis to the liver and bones and given up to 1 year to live, he has also developed congestive heart failure, an aortic aneurysm, and possibly primary prostate cancer as well. His feable body is eaten up with cancer.

He has just been treated for pneumonia again and we just found out he has another type of bacteria in his lungs. He has been put on oxygen at home.

After rounds and rounds of chemotherapy, treatment, and blood transfusions, the oncologist finally told us last week the chemo hurt him instead of helping him. They told him there isn't anything else they can do and they called in Hospice.

They aren't able to calm him. From what I've read, it sounds like terminal restlessness or agitation. He's on so much medication from Xanax, Ambien, Ativan, Methadone, Duragesic Patch, Loratab, Phenergan, Gaba something, and Remeron. They are trying new combinations and new drugs on a daily basis. Nothing is calming him and getting rid of the pain. He is constantly up and down out of the bed to the chair and back. He can't be still. Him and my mom (primary caregiver) have had many sleepless nights.

Last night he began coughing up lots of fresh blood from the bottom of his lungs. Mom said she could hear it gurgling in his chest before he coughed it up. This morning he is coughing up dried blood but the hospice nurse said this is to be expected at this late stage and will probably continue until he passes. The hospice nurse said she doesn't see how he can live another month.

He is suffering so bad. My prayers are with all of you and your families and I pray that your family members do not have to suffer the way my step-dad is suffering. I don't know how my mom is dealing with this!

ChazzyBear · 02-24-2004, 02:57 PM

My Heart Goes Out To You And Your Family! I Can Honestly Say I Know What You Are Going Thru As My Mom Sounds To Be In About The Same Shape! She Has Not Puked Up The Blood At This Point---i Guess Maybe That Is Just One More Thing We Have To Go Thru.
I Am Sorry For Anyone Who Has To Go Thru This Desease As It Is The Most Vicious Desease. I Hope That Anyone Who Has To See A Person Die Of Cancer Thinks Twice Before Smoking.

May God Bless You And Your Family In This Very Trying Time.

My Heart To Youand Your Family
You Are In My Prayers
Chazzy

mephoto · 02-25-2004, 08:03 AM

MichelleP,

I am so sorry to hear your news. We just went through this with my dad a few months ago. Once dad started coughing up the blood he passed within a month. Your step-dad should not be in any pain though. When he has the first sign of pain he should tell the nurses, they will be able to increase the medications so he is peaceful and comfortable. My dad was very aggitated, up, down, up, down, couldn't sit still when it got to this point. Deep down I believe that he was fighting death. He did not want to be or get comfortable because he knew if he 'rested' he could go to sleep and not wake up. He fought this thing till the very end. Once the pain became to much, the medication would increase and then he would sleep more. The most important thing at that point was to keep him comfortable and out of pain and that's what the morphine did. During his last 48 hours they were giving him injections in his upper leg every hour. We would ask him if he had any pain and he would nod "No". Dad died peacefully in our arms without feeling any pain from this horrible disease. I hope your step-dad has a peaceful ending. I encourage you to talk to the nurses about his comfort level and pain.
Much love to you and your family, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
K.

cpayne · 03-02-2004, 09:45 PM

I recently went through this with my grandmother. Does your mom have any help She needs breaks away, even if she's worried about him the whole time ( i know i was) I took care of my granmother in her last days. Everyone needs a help no matter how strong they act. 2nd Yes they need to do what ever it takes to make him comfortable in his last days. This is what he deserves out of life if nothing else, I may not know the person but I do know that no body that fights a diese like that deserves to go out in pain. He has fought a hard fight yes of course if there is still hope the do what ever is possible to get him help, but in the mean time or if God just misses him and wants him up there with him now then there is nothing anyone can do about that but make it peaceful for him. JMO