Step Dad finally let go... - Cancer: Lung Message Board

MichelleP · 03-05-2004, 07:27 AM

Thanks to everyone for listening and for your support. My step dad passed away yesterday morning.

His pain became so great that hospice could no longer control it at home and we had to put him in the hospital on Tuesday. His pain specialist immediately began a Demerol infusion (step dad allergic to morphine and dilaudid) started at 10ml per hour. Yesterday when he died he was up to 30ml per hour along with Ativan every 3 hours. He was fighting the medications. He began terminal agitation on Wednesday morning around 6am and it never stopped until he died around 9:25am on Thursday morning. He was jerking and moaning and groaning. He couldn't be still and he did not sleep at all. We thought he was fighting because he didn't want to die but the nurses said this was part of the final days, terminal agitation. His blood pressure fluctuated between 120/60 to 189/100 all night long. His temperature had gotten up to 100.

He vomited black liquid all through the night and morning and the nurses finally decided to put a tube down his nose into his stomach because even with Phenergan he was vomiting every 30 minutes. He died during the struggle of them trying to put the tube in.

It kills me because he was fighting death. He didn't want to leave us! But I know he is in a better place and hopefully my family will come to realize that when the shock is over.

needtoknowga · 03-08-2004, 08:17 AM

Michelle I am so sorry to hear this. I pray that God comforts you and your family at this difficult time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichelleP

Thanks to everyone for listening and for your support. My step dad passed away yesterday morning.

His pain became so great that hospice could no longer control it at home and we had to put him in the hospital on Tuesday. His pain specialist immediately began a Demerol infusion (step dad allergic to morphine and dilaudid) started at 10ml per hour. Yesterday when he died he was up to 30ml per hour along with Ativan every 3 hours. He was fighting the medications. He began terminal agitation on Wednesday morning around 6am and it never stopped until he died around 9:25am on Thursday morning. He was jerking and moaning and groaning. He couldn't be still and he did not sleep at all. We thought he was fighting because he didn't want to die but the nurses said this was part of the final days, terminal agitation. His blood pressure fluctuated between 120/60 to 189/100 all night long. His temperature had gotten up to 100.

He vomited black liquid all through the night and morning and the nurses finally decided to put a tube down his nose into his stomach because even with Phenergan he was vomiting every 30 minutes. He died during the struggle of them trying to put the tube in.

It kills me because he was fighting death. He didn't want to leave us! But I know he is in a better place and hopefully my family will come to realize that when the shock is over.

chbin · 03-08-2004, 11:32 AM

Condolences to you.

Please take care, you will be in my thoughts.

Luv, Bin

hope1220 · 03-09-2004, 07:46 AM

Michelle~ My dad did the same thing, the terminal agitation, it was agonizing for us to watch and not being able to do anything for him. I realize though, that for me at least, by watching him suffer so terribly right before leaving us, it made me feel a strange sort of relief when he finally took his last breath- I remember in the last moments just praying to God to please, please end his suffering. I think of this quote often someone on this board posted it when I was going through tough times with loosing my dad on 5/3/03 and then loosing my mom 5/19/03 both from lung cancer-- I hate to say I don't remember the author but afterwards it took on a whole new meaning:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
In the beginning, you hope for a mistake-a misdiagnosis-
Later, you hope for a cure- a miracle-
But finally, in the end ALL you hope for is peace ~ and that's what they (your loved one) will leave you with -Peace.

You are in my prayers- it is a hard road to travel- Love and Hugs-from Hope B. Memphis.

MichelleP · 03-18-2004, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hope1220

Michelle~ My dad did the same thing, the terminal agitation, it was agonizing for us to watch and not being able to do anything for him. I realize though, that for me at least, by watching him suffer so terribly right before leaving us, it made me feel a strange sort of relief when he finally took his last breath- I remember in the last moments just praying to God to please, please end his suffering. I think of this quote often someone on this board posted it when I was going through tough times with loosing my dad on 5/3/03 and then loosing my mom 5/19/03 both from lung cancer-- I hate to say I don't remember the author but afterwards it took on a whole new meaning:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
In the beginning, you hope for a mistake-a misdiagnosis-
Later, you hope for a cure- a miracle-
But finally, in the end ALL you hope for is peace ~ and that's what they (your loved one) will leave you with -Peace.

You are in my prayers- it is a hard road to travel- Love and Hugs-from Hope B. Memphis.

Hi Hope. Thanks for sharing your story. I am very sorry to hear about the losses you suffered last year. God Bless You.

My mom is having a hard time getting the memories of my step-dad during his final two days of life out of her head. He was so extremely agitated that it has had a terrible impact on her (and I can't deny the fact that it's been bothering me as well). She wakes up scared and fearful in the middle of the night, thinking about the suffering he endured. Hospice said they are worried about her because of what she saw - him taking the tougher road to death. But their suggestion is for my mom to medicate herself and she doesn't want to deal with things that way.

I still have so many questions about symptoms he experienced during the final two days, and especially the last night and morning but I don't know who to ask.