My husband was supposed to start chemo therapy again today. For a week, he has been wrestling with the idea of stopping treatment, because the accumulative affects have become too severe. He decided that he indeed does not want to have any further treatments. He discussed his decision with the Doctor today. To my surprise, the Doctor agreed with his decision. The Doctor said the goal was to only buy quality time, and if he feels better without the treatment, then he does with it, then it may be time to stop.
I did ask how long it would be before it started growing back (it has only shrunk) he said that he really could not answer that. But, once it does start growing back, it will be rapid. An appointment has been made to return in 1 month for CT scans so that they can determine the rate of growth.
This is the REALLY scary part. I agree with his decision. But, I am not ready to let him go! With the cancer still being in his lung, liver spine and lymph nodes, I only wish they can give me better expectations. But, they did tell me what to watch for. I guess now it can even go back to his brain, which was previously removed with radiation.
I do plan to call hospice, but not yet. Right now, he is still feeling well, and able to do almost everything for himself. I imagine this state of well being will not last long, I am not sure though. I have no idea what to expect really. Well, I have an idea of what to expect, just not how soon.
Hospice is good advice though, I have heard many wonderful things about hospice.
I'm so sorry to hear about your husbands cancer. It seems my dad had the same scenerio as your husband. Dad decided to give up chemo, it made him too ill. He asked his family if we could accept that and of course we wanted what he wanted. Dad lived for another 5 months. He actually looked and felt pretty good during this time. It really hit him about a month before he passed away. He looked and felt very sick. At that time the docs gave him 2 mo. and he lived 6 weeks passing away this past Thanksgiving morning. Enjoy the time you have with him now. The best memories will be made now, the ones you will remember and cherish for the rest of your life. I am so sorry you or anyone has to go through this painful disease. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I also agree hospice is a good source of info. When you and your husband are ready they will be good for both of you.
Renee.. I left you a letter in the other "box" I feel a sense of releif, and sorrow for you all....I hope you can do what you need to do for you in this time also. Its hard to find laughter and make the time left together good when your heart is being tore out at the same time.Some suggestions: outline his handprint,(just cuz)...see if he is willing to record with a recorder when the mood stikes him, (to tell a story.., sing a lil childhood song he favored, or just to vent etc) Clint wrote each of his children a letter and me and sealed them ...of his hopes for them,a few memories he wanted them not to forget and his thoughts to his grandbabies, to be given (after) We have also decided to do a special Cd, of his favorite songs for each child,(some they shared, some that always moved him in some way) and have it in a special case for each. The cam corder is on the counter and used all the time. To get those moments when he is not in pain, and having good days. He has also been talking about doing a vidio of his extensive scarring from the surgery, and about smoking, to one day maybe help out in a community awarness program to help kids not ever start smoking. We also take lots of pictures. Although the pain limits our outtings,, I have invited his old friends to come visit. They have been understanding , knowing he is limited in his energy.
In the end the ones left behind suffer..and he felt if in some way if he could convey how much he loved them, and did share thier lives and that they where very special to him.. in some way it would help when they missed him not being thier for birthdays, graduations... In short.. He wants to live on through us.. and he can in movies, pictures, his voice on tape, and his personal letters to each of us. His handprint will be passed down to his greatgrandkids to compare, and be talked of for years to come. Gods grace be with you and your family Renee. Hugz Mattie