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Cancer: Lung Message Board
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Old 05-03-2004, 06:29 AM   #1
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harlea7 HB User
Hi! New here and hoping to get some support and answers.. PLease.

Hi there
My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer at the end of march - a month after he retired. The cancer cannot be treated with surgery and he has been told that any treatment would be to provide some time and quality. Unfortunately, he has had 2 big chemo treatments - he was meant to have had 4 by now - but he has not been well enough to have them. He has had to be hospitalised each time after chemo.. i am finding this all very difficult. Why is it that even when we know that our parents will pass away before us, it is soooo difficult to accept when it happens.
I guess i am wondering from you all what can we expect in the latter stages.. he is so very very cold and yet flushed red in the face. he cannot get warm enough. He is still mobile and all of that - just so tired, grumpy, anxious, back pain, and a whole heap of other stuff too...etc... all to be expected...
i have been told that the cold thing is a later stage indicator.. i am not sure what is what anymore...
can anyone help me with this?

Harlea

Last edited by harlea7; 05-03-2004 at 06:31 AM.

 
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Old 05-03-2004, 07:56 AM   #2
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haylee31 HB User
Re: Hi! New here and hoping to get some support and answers.. PLease.

Harlea, I am sorry to hear about your dad. I know how

hard this is for you and your family. I lost my dad in 1983

and my mom in 2003 both to lung cancer. I was the care

giver for my mom it really hurts watching someone you

love go through this. My mom like your dad by the time

she found out she had lung cancer it was to late for any

type of treatment other than chemo for the pain. She did

3 weeks of chemo and stopped it was making her to sick.

The later stages with her I noticed her sleeping alot like

18 hours of the day, she became very weak and had to be

watched close so she would not fall, for the most part she

had a good attitude but torwards the end became grouchy,

The pain increased more as well. She was diagnosed in

Aug. 2002 and passed in March 2003 It was 7 months

from the day she was told she had cancer. My heart goes

out to you and your family. If you need to talk I am here.

Haylee

 
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Old 05-03-2004, 07:58 AM   #3
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renee_ky HB Userrenee_ky HB User
Re: Hi! New here and hoping to get some support and answers.. PLease.

Hi Harlea- I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's illness. I knwo it is very difficult to watch the ones we love suffer, my heart breaks for you. My husband also has small cell lung cancer, which is not operatable. Like your father, the treatments that he received were merely for "quality" of life. Also like your Dad, the chemo had suxh horrible affects on him. My husband made a decsion to stop his treatment, he is no longer taking chemo. Ironically enough, he feels better now than he has since diagnosed. With him, the grumpiness, tiredness and coldness were all affects from the chemo, and not mucb you can do about it. The only one I was ever able to control was the coldness. Scott woudl wrap up in a blanket, an dI woudl put a hair dryer under the balnket for him to turn on whenever he was cold, It is goofy, but it warmed him fast.

I wish you and your family the best of luck!

Renee

 
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Old 05-04-2004, 05:16 AM   #4
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Location: Ballston Spa, NY USA
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mephoto HB User
Re: Hi! New here and hoping to get some support and answers.. PLease.

harlea,

I feel your pain, my dad retired in January '03 and passed away from this horrible disease on Thanksgiving morning '03. It was the most difficult and saddest thing I ever had to do in my life, hold his hand and tell him that it was OK to let go. I never thought I could do it but when the time comes you will. The end stages of my dad's cancer were pretty noticable. He started becoming very 'sick' about 2 weeks before he passed away. The pain increased dramatically and the pain meds needed a much higher dose. He started vomiting, he lost his breath more often, he slept often, sweat a lot, and within days of him passing I noticed a dramatic change in his color. His skin almost looked grey. He was conscious up until an hour before he passed but it was difficult for him to communicate with us. He had what was called terminal agitation about two days before he passed. He would get up and down non stop. Very fidigity like. He was constantly getting up to go to the bathroom when not much would come out, which made us believe it may have eventually hit his kidneys. It was a very sad day the day we lost my dad. But I try, as hard as it is, to focus on those good memories we all made the last two years. They are memories I will cherish for a lifetime. Good luck to you and your family, my thoughts and prayers are with you during this most difficult time. Please keep us posted, and if you need anything, you know where to come.
K.

 
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Old 05-06-2004, 09:29 AM   #5
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Houston, TX,
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shammyl HB User
Re: Hi! New here and hoping to get some support and answers.. PLease.

Harle,
I'm so sorry to hear your dad's illness. I'm going through the same thing right now with my mom. We found the radiation she had didn't help shinking her brain tumors (mets from the lung). She becomes weak since she did the radiation. Her leg's numbness bothers her a lot. We are not sure what we could do at this time. I just feel so terribly sorry to see her suffer but not able to do anything. I could feel your pain too.

Shammyl

 
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