Lady_J_1_01

Thanks renee... honestly.. Im pooped... Im just so confused about clints DX.. on one hand they have hospice comming in,on and off and calling weekly to check him...Dr. gave him a permante disability thing for the truck .. yet on the other hand they are saying he now has stage 3a.. (was stage3b)... he has begun another series of chemo.. (to Cure it.. as quoted) He is still in allot of pain from the surgery, I guess the 11 inch inscision did cut threw many nerves, and they impulse allot...So he is on 400mg Neurontin 3 times a day.. he continues to tire easy.. now again cuz Im sure the chemo.. He has a funny smell, he sprays his chair, and it bothers him.. I told him the chemo will do that. Sometimes he gets so cold I put an electric blanket on him. He gets so pale gey looking.... I just get so frustrrated with what the Dr's say.. "cure", does it take this long (march1st) he had the upper Right lobe removed to start feeling better??... He still smokes.. and sometimes lying next to him and hearing the wheezing makes me cry...I dont know what to expect anymore, or whats "normal" I get afraid i will miss some signs and not get him the help he needs. He takes issac syrup, and other vitamins and also drinks "power drinks" instead of so much coke. I know this illness is terrible, I never know from day to day what I will return home to (I do three 16's outta town to get back to him) or wake up to. It just puzzles me...Our days revolve around "the next time to take my pills" I dont know if Im being told the whole story?, or if this is the norm. But thanks for asking...sorry to blab on... I know you understand though. *deep sigh* Mattie