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Old 07-06-2004, 09:31 PM   #1
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rebekkabobekka HB User
CT Scan..

Hiya..
Well I went in today and had my scan done...but ofcourse noone could tell me anything..I even asked the guy when he was done if he could help ease my mind..He said that all he could say was that masses and such just don't grow in minutes...and that this could be nothing...and that he doesn't even really see the films...that they go straight into the computer..and then to the guy that reads it..then to medical records...then to my doctor... My doctor said if he didn't have the results my wednesday he would go get them himself and call me... just to recap..all this started when I found out I had thyroid cancer..and the second surgery when they took the right side out they done a x-ray as part of my physical...and it came back as a slight fullness on my right lung..to which today the man said could be a shadow from my sternum... I was a smoker for over 10years..about a pack a day..I quit 2 months ago...after I stopped I also have not been coughing anything up..i just gotta clear my throat alot..and if anything ever comes up it is now clear stuff..before it was greenish or brownish...I am so scared!! I am having bad anxiety attacks...I cry all the time...I feel sick to my stomach all the time..I still feel like I have swallowed a golf ball...all I do is sleep...everyone on these boards have been great to me...and my family is very supportive...sometimes I cry so much I get bad headaches...I think I may have given myself an ulcer..I am constantly belching.. I know alot of this anxiety could be comming from not being on my thyroid meds yet..and not having a thyroid surely would make anyone feel crappy... I just feel like my life is falling apart..and I am so afraid they are going to find something in my lung...ofcourse since they said they "may" have found something I have been having shoulder blade pains.. I just wish I was made different..that I had the ability to deal with life like most people do...but I am 29 yrs old...i have 2 children and a wonderful husband...and I am scared they are going to tell me it something that isn't cureable...sorry this is so long..but i needed to vent.. I am also over weight...so any problems i have had breathing I think that is a factor..although not smoking now for awhile has helped my breathing going up and down stairs.. I just hate the hurry up and wait... anyone having any words of encouragement...or advice...or anything..I surely would appriciate it...btw..I have not had any swollen lymph nodes...no coughing up blood..no real wierd symptoms...I have had no real symptoms with my lungs until they said there my be something there..then of course my mind took over and started creating symptoms..or so thats what I think... Thanks to everyone who has any input...it's much appriciated!!!
Bekka

 
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Old 07-07-2004, 08:01 AM   #2
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renee_ky HB Userrenee_ky HB User
Re: CT Scan..

Hi Bekka- The very first thing you have to do is take a deep breath, and relax! I know that is easier said than done. My husband has cancer and he feels the anxiety of not knowing, the upset stomach, the headaches. We are also playing teh waiting game, 8 days before we kno all of the details of where it has spread this time, and what they can do for him. You know, he should be down here replying to you. One of these days, I will gehim on here. He s a good advisor, he just has to come to terms with his problem first, and then matbe...! I will telll you this. Yesterday was a turning point for Scott. He made a firm decision "I will fight this, I have many reasons to live".. and you know what, because he decided that, we had a wonderful evening. If you are stubborn, this type of attitude adjustment might just work for you to Bekka. We went to dinner (he could not eat for several days) and then we visited friends, worked a crossword puzzle, played with the puppies, and laughed.. and laughed.. and laughed some more. Laughter is good medicine. Your joy comes from within you, but hard to find you are are caught in the flurry of a storm (that is what it feels like). What works me is, I sit down and think of all of the wonderful gifts God has given me in my life, and then I thank him! Scott and I have a new motto, every morning we say "Thank you God, bless me again". I do realize, I am not the one that has cancer, and I have never had cancer. Scott has cancer, and I dedicate my life to making him happy, to helping him find his joy, and to make sure that he NEVER forgets that God loves him, and God wants good things for him... Even if that means going home (I hope it is not time for that). I wish I could tell you how to deal with it. Are you sleeping? We think we have discovered that a big party of Scott's recent depression was NO SLEEP. Scott took a natural supplement called Melatonen (spelling?), he took 3 mg's.. and he also took 1 TylenoPM, he slept like a baby Monday night and woke up Tuesday with a anew attitude. Yesterday, the oncologist gave him a script for a sleep aid called purepac, he did not like that, he said his mixture was better, so he is going back to his sleep aid. The oncologist said that lack of sleep brings forth a lot of emotions, and said sleep is one of the most important things Scott needs right now.

I do not know where you stand with Religion, or if you are a Christian. But if you would, try to read Ephesians 6:10,11,13 (This entire book is good, but it is these verses that Scott keeps repeating) . This is what Scott is reading now, and he says he feels stronger, and feels protected and safe.

Sorry I rambled.. I do that! I can never just say anything simply.

Bekka- I will say a special prayer, just for you. I do hope all of the tests come back with nothing but good news.

I am not on here as muc as I woudl like to be, but I do check in. Anytime you want to talk, I will try to be here and I will always try to help, if I can.

Renee

 
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Old 07-09-2004, 11:05 AM   #3
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rebekkabobekka HB User
Re: CT Scan..

Hiya Renee...
Just wanted to let you know that my CT scan came back clear!! So it must have been a shadow from how i was standing with the x-ray...I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders like i can actually breathe now.... My anxiety from all this has wore me out mentally..but i am trying to keep it together....
I hope you and your hubby get good news...you are a wonderful person and I appriciate everything you have done...sometimes just listening is more than you think...
much love..and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby
bekka

 
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Old 07-09-2004, 12:35 PM   #4
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Jordie HB User
Re: CT Scan..

I'm so glad you're OK. It's such a frightening thing to go through. I am thinking I have it now. I have bronchitis for 2 weeks, doc just put me on more antibiotics, but I have such a burning sensation, and I feel sick and can't sleep either (this is probably anxiety as I suffer bad from this).
I'm sure the burning is just because I've been coughing up so much phlem over 2 weeks and of course I'm going to have pain around my lungs and ribs. but I'm petrified. I'm a smoker, for about 15 yrs or so, but not heavy - maybe 10 per day.

Can I ask what symptoms you had to discover you had thyroid cancer? Thanx.

 
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Old 07-09-2004, 01:34 PM   #5
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rebekkabobekka HB User
Re: CT Scan..

yeah Jordie anxiety has a way of bring you down...and not letting your mind be at ease!

as for my thyroid cancer...I had started to feel like i had swallowed a golf ball..thats when they found my nodule...they did a biopsy and said it was benign..But they removed it anyway and and found out that I had Follicular carcinoma on my thyroid itself...so I had to have all of my thyroid taken out... I am still waiting to get my RAI... but have started on meds as of 2 days ago.... If you get the chance speak to renee...she was a great support to me..as you have read I am sure... I can say...try to relax...I didn't..and now my stomach is yucky all the time...also after they gave me my results from my CT SCAN on my chest and it was clear...it was like a rush...all my symptoms i had have pretty much left at that moment... now i think how many days i have missed with my hubby and kids out of just fear!
good luck to you
bekka

 
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Old 07-09-2004, 06:33 PM   #6
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renee_ky HB Userrenee_ky HB User
Re: CT Scan..

Bekka- I am SOOOOOO glad to hear your tests came back good. Thanks for letting me know, I love hearing good news, and I need it! I am hoping for the best with Scott as well, atleast for the best possible, under the circumstances. He is really sick now, and he is terrified. Every little ache on his body, he fears is cancer. It breaks my heart to know how bad he is suffering, inside and out. He is still being optimistic though, we are researching some alternative treatments, and have some plans that we will start VERY soon. Since the doctors say they can not help, we will just have to dig and dig and hope for God to lead us to a better treatment, if there is one.

I am having him a surprise birthday party tomorrow, I can not wait! I know it will really lift his spirits. I have even been able to contact some of his friends that he has not see for 20-25 years. It will be good!!!

And thank you for listening to. As you said, it is good just to know someone is listening.

Renee

 
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