We lost my Fiancé on Saturday, August 14
I haven't posted anything for sometime now, since January or February, I believe. I came to the board trying to find out what to expect after my girlfriend was diagnosed with Small Cell and was told that it was un-stoppable. I can remember talking to a few folks and most of them told me that everyone was different and that sounded reasonable but still, I figured there would be similarities. I followed the progress of a few folks who were well ahead of us, all the way up to the end and then reported back to the family about what I had learned. This info did come in handy, to a degree. Some of it never happened (e.g. her hands and feet never turned color. There was a small amount of discoloration around her finger nails but that was all). The point I am trying to make is that, if Margaret's and mine experience is helpful, then that is wonderful. But don't do like I did and try to build a schedule for your loved one that is based on what I've told you as compared to what your loved one does or is going through at a particular time because they are likely to surprise you, one way or the other. Good and bad. Also, I should add, that all of the information that I could compile in my little brain didn't lessen the grief or shock of the final moment. In some ways, I believe that, that was my intention in acquiring this info. The most important thing for you people who are just now entering in to this, is to remember to take it one day at a time. There will be good days or even weeks, ahead but in the same token, there will also be bad days or even weeks ahead. Make them as comfortable as possible and maybe even try and learn to anticipate their needs. I say this because Margaret lost her ability to speak, three days before she passed. I often found myself unable to decipher her request and we had to play a guessing game for awhile before I would figure it out.
I don't wish to create one huge, overwhelming post, so I will tell our story on another thread (which I will write after I post this one) and I hope it helps some of you.