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Cancer: Lung Message Board
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Old 08-18-2004, 05:55 PM   #1
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jannyj HB User
Unhappy adenocarcinoma of the lung

Hi everyone,

My sister's mother-in-law was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the lung and went through extensive radiation and chemo. Was doing well, but now it has spread into the brain.

The entire family of girls has huddled around her, keeping everything hush, hush. The son (my sister's husband keeps being told, "this is the way mom wanted it) but she is now delusional. Dr's hope they can adjust her meds so she can be coherent for some time.


My sister can't break through their traditions of how they handle family dynamics. My sister was only married a year ago...he's 41.

What she wants to know....is what comes next?
At the moment the mom is in the hospital.
How fast (I know this is an annoying question that no one can really answer...but even still...) is death coming?
What will it be like?
What can be expected as to how much the mom will be aware of her surroundings?

Is there a site my sister can go to for more information?
This family is not ready for this death. The mom was a powerhouse of energy and "RAN" the whole family.

Help!
Thanks,
Jannyj

 
Old 08-23-2004, 06:09 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Rochester, NY USA
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sawbuck44 HB Usersawbuck44 HB Usersawbuck44 HB User
Re: adenocarcinoma of the lung

Sorry to hear that this ugly disease has touched your family. I lost my brother a few days ago to lung cancer. It was in the lung and spread to the liver and bones. By Sunday night we were told he had a few weeks to a few months. On Wednesday, we were told a few days. He died Thursday morning. Up until they increased his meds - he was very aware although it was difficult for him to talk. At one point the day before he died, he told me to 'chill' because I kept asking him if he was ready to have the hot tea I made him, or did he want some of the milkshake the nurse made him, etc.

I would tell you that if they are beginning to increase the pain dosage that you should spend as much time with her as possible. We did not get the news of a few days left until late Wednesday afternoon. We then called the family who weren't there because they thought they had time. I wish they could predict it better or they possibly know the date and just don't tell you. I don't know. Seems like they could see the shape he was in and tell us a realistic timeframe so we could spend more time with him.
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Old 08-24-2004, 06:18 AM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 283
renee_ky HB Userrenee_ky HB User
Re: adenocarcinoma of the lung

Janny- Prayers are with you and your family. Unfortunately, we are not allowed to post links to other web sites on this board. But, if you do a search on teh web, using the name of the cancer, you will find a great deal of information.


I see that sawbuck has replied to you as well. He has lost his brother who was so precious to him, to this horrible disease. And, I face losing my husband. Sawbuck offered you thebest advice that anyone can, "spend as much time with her as you can".

Good luck, prayers are with your family!

Renee

 
Old 08-27-2004, 08:33 AM   #4
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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txchaz HB User
Re: adenocarcinoma of the lung

Jannyj

My heart goes out to you and your family. I have gone though this process with my father and my mother. Of course no one can predict how and when a person will pass, however there are some sure clues that death is near. My mother towards the end, she had lung brain cancer also, became very figity, could not lay still always fooling around with her covers on her bed, hands always moving. Of course she had stoped eating or drinking anything and spent more time sleeping. She finally slipped into a coma, towards the end there was a darkening of the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet. There was also a raspy sound from her lungs. It was explained to me that the lungs were filling with fluid, the hands and feet were not getting oxygen as a result. She did not linger long after this. She finally took one last breath and stopped breathing. Very peacefull quiet, I and my sister was holding her hand. I am not sure if any of this helps ans your questions. Hospice was a God sent during this time, they answeared all of the questions like what you have.

Peace be with you and your family
Chazzzzzzzzzzz

 
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