Thank you for checkin on me. I spent last week going through a barrage of tests, cat scan, breathing tests and brocoscopy. Unfortunately for me they can tell me no more than I knew when I went their. Whatever it is has spread, there are 6 spots now on my right lung and one on my left. I am having a barriam swollow tomarrow to try to find out why my throat is consricting (sp) I have been going through this for 4 months and I no nothing more than I did four months ago except it is spreading. If it is an infection it is not under control if it is cancer I am basically screwed, screwed either way.
God bless you for checking on me
Oh No! Don't give in so easily! You are not screwed! I know how hard it is to be positive - so easy to give up - frustration and loss of hope are easy. Do what you are able to...can't make the spots on lung go away...but you can build up your strength if you need treatment or surgery.
It could be just an infection - they just need to get the right meds in you! If it is something worse, then fight like hell!!!
Thank you for your response and your totally right. I have posted the same type of response that you have for other people, it seems easier to give this advise than to live it sometimes. Frustration is just overwhelming me, I was just so close to a answear with the surgery that got canx. However when you think about it it was like God stepped in maybe and decided that I should not go through that surgery, maybe it would not have provided the answears that I needed. Thank you for your advice and I will do what you have said.
I feel guilty that I have my answers and you don't have yours...I can feel your frustration and hopelessness in your writing. Knock it off! Don't give up! You have total strangers pulling for you !!!!!! Yah, tests suck, doctors suck, hospitals suck...whenever I had a test, Jim would come with me and then we would go have a fantastic meal and a few drinks at a ridiculously expensive restaurant... it was too much fun!!!
Here's an idea...go to a comedy club...watch a funny movie...take your wife out somewhere really fun...always make fun plans for the day you have a test. Don't make your test the focus of the day. Have something else to look forward to. Please don't drown in self-pity and fear...I did for a bit...and I see it as wasted time. I made Jim feel so bad...he was so frustrated that he could not make me feel better - I feel terribly guilty about this now.
Chaz, I am sorry for all the heartbreak you are dealing with, Clint and I use to just hold each other and cry in the beginning, sometimes so distraught we couldnt even speak...
then we began to deal with what COULD be the worse, by getting "our house in order"..... Then, we could breath...
We rented comedian movies, anything we could get our hands on,knowledge is power, so we read, and talked to others who have pieces to the puzzle...and finally we realized, accepted and knowing in our hearts we did everything we had humanly control over, and where capable of doing.........then,
we just gave it over to God.....GOD knows the number of sunsets already that he has planned for each of us.. and we just started not missing a one.
Chaz, Your in my prayers.... I am sorry that you have to struggle with all this uncertainty of your health,family responsibilities,bills and the whole thing...It left us so weary many days. But know we are all here for you...Life is fraigle and although Clint has had good news, we never take anything for granted. We never miss a sunset.
As one person said to me.. Mattie, you need to realize we are all terminall. Its whats between the beginning and the end that really matters...
So buckle up chaz, you have your wife by your side, and a great wit about you!!! We are all keeping ya close (pats her heart) Try to rest, eat well, laugh,Fight for the best care and plan of care and love with all ya got! Mattie
Thank you ALL for your wonderfull words of encouragement, everyone of you has been through so much it bothers me somewhat to be whining about my current situation. The unknown is what is killing me, I have resigned myself to wait the three months for the next Cat Scan as they have suggested. Some of the stuff they tell ya is so counterdicting sometimes. A perfect exsample is wait three months and if the size of the main tumor or node has increased we will go in, but in the next breath they say well cancer usually is very slow growing ? I have a total of 7 suspicious spots all small, between 2 and 4 mm. The last cat scan showed whatever is on my lungs has spread to my left lung. I asked the puminologist if it is not an infection and it is cancer it will be in a very early stage right ? well no thats not the case with so many spots. I regards to the havin fun stuff on the day of a test, we did that my tests were done in San Ant I got a room on the river walk and we just enjoyed ourselves while we were their. I know my wifes frustration is getting high also, we just hear things differently. She took the infection guess on my lungs as good news, I took it as I have to wait another three months. I usually have a couple of bad mornings a week, coughing getting choked up it always causes my throat to swell causing constriction in my throat, which sets me back and I usually end up in my chair not doing anything, this is also starting to bother her, she said that I was acting like a hypocondreact (sp) I know its just frustration on her part, and her attempt to push me, this comment really upset me. I guess thats it for now I feel like I am babbeling on, I tell you it is unbelieveable the great feeling to know their are total strangers here on this board that take time out of their lives to give encouragment and suppport or to just listen. I think God lead me to this sight.