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Old 11-17-2004, 01:33 PM   #46
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txchaz HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

I swear when we he got up this morning I could not believe the change. He is not nausiated he just has not desire to eat, I asked if he wanted to get on the comp and he said maybe later he is just lathargic. He seems um maybe not confused but detached like he is far away even though he is not but about 10 feet from me. I do not want to go to the doctor tomarrow I don't want to know what they are going to say or what they could say that makes me feel terriable. I just want my old Chazz back.

 
Old 11-17-2004, 01:45 PM   #47
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shadowrose40 HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

HI

Part of it might be that he's trying to process what all is going on with him. Part of it might be that he's feeling unwell.

Detatchment isn't that uncommon when we're faced with a serious health concern. Neither is denial. Or anger.

But, no matter what they tell you, you both have just started to fight it, whatever 'it' turns out to be. It infuriates me that he was pretty much blown off for six months, but what is done is done.

Ask him if he feels like he needs to be in the hospital right now, though.

If he's sleeping a lot, that could also in part be some depression mixed in with all the rest of it. A type of escape if you will. But I'm not there, I don't see him or how good/bad he looks or acts.

He was complaining of vision problems last night. Has that improved?

I know you're scared, I wish I knew words that would make you feel better. Hugs

 
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Old 11-17-2004, 01:56 PM   #48
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txchaz HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

I don't think he is telling me all of his symptoms I asked him about his eyes and he said their fine but he doesn't want to get on the comp which I think maybe do to the vison thing. When I look back at his posts I can see he was having trouble and he must have known, he would never want anyone to know he is not doing good. I know he is limping when he frist gets up from his recliner but straightens up if I am looking. He seems to talk alot about his parents lately? He has told me things that I never even knew about them. I am furious also, they seemed to put him in this holding pattern and it was like rolling the dice if its not C nothing lost but if it is then its been 7 months without any treatment. His father was diag in Nov and died in July that is 8 months it is scary. His sister calls and I am at a loss what to tell her she lives across the country. I guess I will no better what to say after tomarrow. One thing that really worries me is he has always held his faith but the past couple of days he has mentioned about how his faith has slipped, and he mentioned the every thing happens for a reason thing again. I should stop I am talking up way too much of everybodys time.

 
Old 11-17-2004, 02:07 PM   #49
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shadowrose40 HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

Hon

You're not taking up too much of anyones time. Not at all!

He's scared. It's to be expected, anyonoe would be.

And you're likely right, he's not telling you everything that he's feeling, but then, he's a man. Men are like that.

I'm the same way. I don't tell my daughter (she's 22 and lives with me) what all is going on with me, because I don't want to worry her. It's normal.

But, gently explain to him that you need to know because you worry and worry more when he doesn't open up to you. But first, give him a few days to process.

He's likely thinking about his parents, and how fast they declined, just like you are. But remember, there have been a LOT of advances in the last even 10 years.

As for his sister, there's really not much you can tell her at this point- unless you both need her for moral support.

He said it best a while back, this is taking chunks of his soul, or something like that. But his faith isn't gone, he's just coming to terms with what is happening inside his body, or trying to.

The unknown is the worst part of all of this. It's much easier, believe it or not, to fight a KNOWN evil than to worry ourselves sick over the possibilities (I know, I'm an expert)

All I can suggest is that you let him say whatever he needs to say. We really are here to listen!!!! Many people are probably still at work, but I'm not, and I don't mind listening and offering whatever support that I can, I promise.

I've been where you're at right now, so I do understand your frustrations and feelings of helplessness.

Hugs
Patty

 
Old 11-17-2004, 02:47 PM   #50
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txchaz HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

Patty you and Shayser have been a big help getting me through today, also I wanted to thank LadyJ for being so helpful to Chaz before. I have got to get him up and moving, he would not be able to fight anything in the condition he is in, he is weak and dehydrated I am going to get him to eat and drink some fluid I gotta get tuff, he is just so pitiful right now it is hard to be forcefull but I know I have got to do what is best for him, and watching him sit there and waste away is not what is best for him.

 
Old 11-17-2004, 02:58 PM   #51
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shadowrose40 HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

HI

You're right, it's likely not. I'm thinking that he's in more pain than he's letting on, though. Apathy, anger, fear- I'd wager he's feeling em all. You probably are, to some degree, too.

Sometimes, it's harder to watch a loved one being sick than it is on the one who IS sick. I've been in both situations. You want to help, and feel helpless.

But, letting him know you are there for him is a huge help, I'm sure! Getting him moving as much as pain allows is probably good, too!

Tell him I won't smoke as long as he eats LOTS and drinks LOTS.

Hugs


Quote:
Originally Posted by txchaz
Patty you and Shayser have been a big help getting me through today, also I wanted to thank LadyJ for being so helpful to Chaz before. I have got to get him up and moving, he would not be able to fight anything in the condition he is in, he is weak and dehydrated I am going to get him to eat and drink some fluid I gotta get tuff, he is just so pitiful right now it is hard to be forcefull but I know I have got to do what is best for him, and watching him sit there and waste away is not what is best for him.

 
Old 11-17-2004, 03:00 PM   #52
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shadowrose40 HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

Shayser,

Any news yet????

I posted on the other thread, too.

Hugs

 
Old 11-18-2004, 12:19 AM   #53
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Lady_J_1_01 HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

Txchaz,
I am unable to come in here as Id like to keep posted on who and what to pray for and keep connected. In reading... so many things have happened...My heart breaks for you and Chaz (know my heart is with you both) as with many other recent threads.
Shadowrose has the knowledge and intuition to be a proxy for many of us Im sure, her letters echo things I would say also...and as to not 'clog' your thread I will wait in the wing as Im sure many others are also doing... BUT know we are all here, Seeking Gods face on behalf of you, chaz and all our 'extended family here" in need.
Your doing a wonderful job with the what has been given you to handle. It takes courage and strength to face this unknown all awhile being the glue to hold it all together.
I would encourage you to take care of YOU also, rest when you can, ask for help from those you trust, and give yourself some down time, to renew your strength. Even if its just lying with him, being near him,but taking a break from doing cares/and running the home.......
You know Chaz better than anyone, Listen to your gut, their is no right or wrong. When I felt afraid, uncertain, and things didnt feel right to me I sought medical advice and most times it was justified and good that I did. "keeping you close" Mattie

 
Old 11-18-2004, 06:16 AM   #54
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SHAYSER HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

Hey Chaz , are you any better today? I hope so, know that you and your family are in my prayers..

 
Old 11-18-2004, 06:23 AM   #55
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txchaz HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

Good mornign yall, my eyes are a bit fuzy I am not awke yet. MY apt is at 10 hopein for good news. Thanks for talkin and makin my wife feel better

 
Old 11-18-2004, 07:53 AM   #56
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SHAYSER HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

you welcome, what r are they checking for?

 
Old 11-18-2004, 08:13 AM   #57
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shadowrose40 HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

Quote:
Originally Posted by SHAYSER
you welcome, what r are they checking for?
Shayser, I'm guessing you're upset with me, but I've really been thinking about you and your test results. Are you ok?

Patty

 
Old 11-18-2004, 08:14 AM   #58
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shadowrose40 HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

Chazz and Mrs Chazz

My thoughts are with you both! Chazz, you have to eat! That's an order, LOL.

Please take care, and keep us posted.

Hugs

 
Old 11-18-2004, 08:16 AM   #59
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shadowrose40 HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

I"ll be gone for two weeks or so. Take care everyone

 
Old 11-18-2004, 08:56 AM   #60
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SHAYSER HB User
Re: After 6 months a answear maybe

I'm not upset at all, you make me feel better , I just got my results today it is still there just the one nodule and it has'nt changed at all my dr said that is good news they want me to follow up in 6 months but he said it is great news i don't know why i'm not happy yet..

 
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