non small cell stage IV - Cancer: Lung Message Board

js62 · 11-19-2004, 08:26 PM

hello, i am looking for anyone with an experience similar to what we are dealing with now. my mom was diagnosed in sept with non small cell lung cancer with mets in her lymphs in her chest and a huge one on her spine which they removed most of. we have 2 really great doctors but the problem is they wont talk about a prognosis or give us any sort of idea what we are dealing with in the future. i have read alot and it has said that life expectancy anywhere from 8.5 weeks to 5 yrs. at this point mom is living on a protien shake and handful of food a day. she is having radiation on her back and lung. she cant keep anything down , even with the help of meds. she has dropped 2 and a half clothes sizes in less than a month and has barely the energy to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. i have 3 kids that i am trying to explain and get ready for what ever happens next and i would love any info or thaughts that anyone can offer.

SOCA · 11-20-2004, 08:35 AM

JS62 > " we have 2 really great doctors but the problem is they wont talk about a prognosis or give us any sort of idea what we are dealing with in the future. "

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IMO they are smart not to trap themselves into the prognosis guessing game. IMO after all treatment options have been exhausted and there is an accurate profile of health condition MAYBE the docs can give you a reasonably accurate prognosis.

sroman127 · 11-21-2004, 07:27 PM

Hello. I can understand what you are going through. My father was diagnosed in Oct. with non small cell stage IV also. And same as you I also have three kids who I have to try and prepare. My parents live with us, so it is really hard. Like tonight my dad just started crying when my son said goodnight to him. He cries because he does not want to leave my kids. Anyway, his doctor basically said 6-8 months. He is having chemo. I just wanted to say hello since our stories sound so similar. God bless!

pam8 · 11-23-2004, 05:45 PM

I too, have a similar story. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer with mets to brain in September. It is so hard to see him not eating, being so sick and losing weight. He was such an energetic person who always stayed busy and he hates not feeling llike doing anything. And this has happened so fast--that is what surprised me so much. I never expected him to feel this bad so soon. A specific prognosis has not been mentioned, but of course everything I read and all that I hear from others is pretty dismal. But I know that prayer can work miracles and I am a person of faith. My prayers are with you all as you go through this. Special blessings during this holiday season.

Pam

shadowrose40 · 11-25-2004, 06:40 AM

HI

To all of you that have posted. Stage IV isn't good news, obviously. But, that being said, stages can also change. I've known people in Stage IV that have been downgraded.

Prognosis for lung cancer is tricky. Some people respond better to treatment than others do. If the radiation is shrinking the tumors, then the prognosis increases.

Remember, too, that when they give you a prognosis, they base it on statistics, not on YOUR loved one. We are all different.

When my father was diagnosed, he outlived the 'prognosis'. He didn't win the war with the cancer, but he did win some of the battles! And that was over 20 years ago. Things have progressed a lot over 20 years in the treatment of cancer.

Spend the time that you have to the best of your abilities. Family time. Cherish each day. When and IF it's time for Hospice and other measures of comfort, the doctors will let you know.

You really can't explain cancer well to small children. Grandma or Grandpa is sick. We love him and we're going to spend time with him. That's what's important for them to understand- at least right now.

You can explain that the medicine makes them feel bad. That they might be angry, confused or sad. But that it's the sickness that is causing it. Let the kids know they are still loved. Answer any of their questions as fully as you can without scaring them.

When and if the time comes that grandma or grandpa aren't with you any longer, let the kids know that they went home to be with God (or whatever religious beliefs you hold) and no longer hurting or sad.

Hugs. Wish I could offer more