Dad is gone - Cancer: Lung Message Board

gunnersgram · 05-10-2001, 07:16 AM

I just wanted to update on my Dad, we lost him April 22, 2001. He was only in remission a short time and the cancer returned with a vengence. I am glad he is pain free now, but would love to hear how all of you are doing, thanks for your support, and maybe I can help on this sad journey somehow.
Love Jody

shortyinTH · 05-11-2001, 08:06 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost mine in Feb. The only comfort we have is their not suffering anymore. Take care!

Djunababe · 05-11-2001, 10:23 PM

Hi Gunnersgram,

I've been missing my dad a lot today -- he passed away in October, and it is very hard, especially with Mother's Day coming up and knowing how much my mom will miss him -- he always got her beautiful, sweet presents and cards.

The only thing I can say is be good to yourself, as much as you can. Some days I feel like a total zombie, and I just want to scream at the world, "Don't you know what the hell happened to me?" And knowing that everybody faces this sooner or later isn't all that comforting.

But if your dad's suffering was anything like mine, then I can only echo what others have undoubtedly told you. It's better that he's released from it. At the same time, awful as it was to watch him suffer, I'm glad I had time to sort of prepare myself a little and say goodbye. If he had just died of a heart attack in the night, it would have been even worse.

Take care, and god bless.

Djuna

rosilita2 · 05-12-2001, 06:09 AM

sorry to hear about your father. that is so typical of sclc. when it comes back it comes back quick and with a vengance. the only good thing about sclc is that the loved ones don't suffer long as compared to some other cancer. may god help you find peace.

Djunababe · 05-12-2001, 10:56 AM

Hi again, Jody,

Sorry I didn't use your signature name last time. I was a bit distraught thinking about my dad, too.

I wonder if anyone else has encountered this. I was at a store buying a Mother's Day gift yesterday -- I got her a paperweight with a real thistle inside it, because my dad was Scottish. I mentioned to the cashier that I chose it because my dad had died recently, and I thought this would be a nice reminder of him. When she asked what he died of, I said "lung cancer," and maybe I'm imagining it, but I think I saw a tightening around her mouth. Maybe I was just being supersensitive, but her "gosh, I'm sorry" seemed a tad judgmental.

I keep feeling like I have to defend my dad. As far as we know, his disease didn't have anything to do with smoking - though he did smoke for 14 years until a stroke 33 years ago got him to quit. But it's almost like when somebody is HIV positive -- "Well, what did you do to bring this on yourself?"

And it sucks. Even if the smoking was what did it, nobody's perfect. And nobody deserves to suffer.

Anyway, this is probably off-topic. But I would love to hear from others what their coping strategies are for this kind of thing. On the one hand, it's nobody's ******* business what he did. But on the other, well --.

And I still wish I could get my family members that DO smoke to quit, because I do not want to go through this again. Ever.

I wish you all peace.

Kerry