no longer asking the questions - Cancer: Lung Message Board

babbles · 04-22-2003, 01:16 PM

I no longer seek all the answers to what cancer is or why my sister has to die. I just accept and just be a sister for Trish.

I went to see her Easter Sunday. She now has to use a bedside toilet because she can no longer walk more than 2-3 steps without going into respitory distress. She talks with a wisper and the docs told her not to try to eat anything by mouth anymore. She says she misses tastes so we let her have a coke or we crush up some cookies for her.

I just sit with her and talk. I let her pick the subject and I go along. She is now taling about hospice and that she does not want to go into the "back bedroom" until the last minute. She does not want to be locked up away from everybody. In the front room she is still "part of the family". I told her no matter where she is she is always part of the family. She will have her wish because we love her.

As I drove home I finally cried the cry that leaves you exhausted. If felt good and bad at the same time.

I can't tell all of you have good it has felt to come to this site and open up. THANK YOU!!! God bless to all!!!

littletinkerbell · 04-22-2003, 02:04 PM

Hi babbles
You are being really brave and you should be proud of yourself it is hard to do what we've all done on this site being there for our loved ones but we do it because we truly love them. I know you will be exhausted but you get an inner strength from somewhere that gets you through. I pray for you and your family and a special prayer for your sister.Take care mags..x..

LeisaH · 04-22-2003, 03:37 PM

I am glad that you have found the peace to let your sister go. It is an important step in grieving.

Leisa

mrsdlash · 04-22-2003, 06:53 PM

Hello my dear lady,
YOur posting warmed my heart. I pray to have the courage that you have found in my situation. Also, I am hoping that someone will be around when my time comes that will not only love me, but be as understanding , and as brave, as you are.
I like something that I heard once. "The brave are scared just like everybody else ; but, they go ahead and do the deed, anyway!
That seems to fit all of us at some point. Don't you think?
Sweet Blessings I pray for you and yours, too. Donna

Romi Wallis · 04-25-2003, 03:38 AM

All you beautiful people

"Let nothing disturb you, nothing frighten you, all things are passing, God is unchanging. Patience gains all; nothing is lacking to those who have God: God alone is sufficient." (St. Teresa of Avila)

"The harsh and violent pain of the trial disappears, it seems almost to dissolve in the presence of prayer and contemplation. It is precisely this attitude of trusting abandonment that elicits divine ntervention."
(Pope John Paul II)

Heaps of love, light & understanding.
Romi