It is so sad - Cancer: Lung Message Board

hope1220 · 05-02-2003, 03:27 PM

Thank you guys for the replies to my other post. It is sooooo hard. By far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Hospice has already been such a great help. They have delivered a hosp. bed (in the great room) and other medical supplies. They have been wonderful; however, it is like one of you said it hurts, but it doesn't tell me anything I didn't know before. I also read somewhere that towards the end it will be fewer and fewer times that they will probably want to communicate and that is happening now. Just last weekend my dad was talking up a storm and now he can't stay awake long enough to finish a sentence hardly. I miss him already and can not stop crying. My chest literally hurts from my heart breaking. It is just awful. How did any of you handle the thought of maybe not being there when your loved one passes? I can't hardly bring myself to break away long enough to take a shower - I am so afraid he will go when I am not near. I have even moved him in the great room (with my mom who is also in there in another twin bed - she too is bedridden. I can not think of anything else!! How do you guys do it? Dad has been catherized today -simply too weak to get up - he hates it too. He is not eating anything!! Hospice nurse says not to worry over that - and don't try and talk him into eating just ask if I could get him something to eat. If he says no leave it at that. He is barely drinking. It is all like a bad dream. He was still going to the gym in Feb of this year working out! It is just awful. And he hasn't smoked in about 12-14 years!!!!!!

ann203 · 05-02-2003, 05:48 PM

Dear Hope, my heart goes out to you. There aren't any words to take away the pain you are feeling, otherwise I would say them to you. I can only offer you my prayers. I will be thinking of you, and if you need to talk again, you know where you can find us. God Bless and take care. Ann.

reneeintx · 05-02-2003, 06:54 PM

Dear Hope,
I just want to say my heart aches reading your post. Your parents are so blessed to have a daughter such as you. My grandmother has had altzheimers for 7 years and my 92 year old grandfather takes care of her. They live where no other family members reside. They live in PA and I live in TX. My own mother(my granparents daughter) which lives in TN, and a retired nurse hardly does anything for them. She says she's too busy with her own life. It's so sad... my mother is very selfish. I ask her "what happens to grandma if grandpap dies", she says the nursing home can take care of her. My sisters and myself are very disappointed in her with this attitude. I can't say I'm surprised, when I had my first baby she said don't count on her to babysit because she said she was too young to be a grandmother.

God bless you hope. You will be in my prayers. I wish there were more people in this world that were as caring as you.

Renee

tosharp · 05-05-2003, 10:46 PM

dear hope

you really really need to read the book final gifts. It will help you tremendously!
and i was the same way with my daddy in feb. i was scared to leave for fear that he would go while I was gone.
I considered it an honor to be there with him when he took his last breath.
Im so sorry you have to go thru this

Ocean