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Old 10-16-2003, 05:42 AM   #1
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Unhappy Dad is not doing well-NSCLC-Sage IV

Hi everyone,

I've been reading all of your messages for quite some time, my heart goes out to all of you and your loved ones who are fighting or who have lost someone with this horrible disease. I finally found enough courage to tell my dad's battle with lung cancer. It all started when my dad was 58 yrs. old. He went from doctor to doctor trying to find out why he was loosing weight and just not feeling well. He had lots of aches and pains in his bones, and his fingernails were clubbing. He would go from doctor to doctor for a year and he got the diagnosis of arthritis. He was treated for arthritis for over a year. Finally when the treatments for the arthritis were not working, his arthritis doctor did a chest x-ray and this is when we found the lung cancer. It was staged as a IIIA when it was found. He went through chemo, radiation, then surgery to remove the upper right lobe. They said it was adenocarcinoma. Everything went well, he was feeling good after recovering from the surgery, we thought we got this thing, he really had a positive attitude about the whole thing. A few months later he had bone pain in his hip. A PET scan was done and we found that the cancer had spread to the bone, now he is classified as a stage IV. He decided to keep fighting, he went through radiation to the hip for a couple of weeks and the pain went away. He was still getting around, even golfing on some smaller golf courses. He is a determined man! Just 5 weeks ago he went for an x-ray to check his lungs because he was short of breath, and they found a small lesion on his lung, immediately the doctor put him on Iressa. He didn't seem to get better, over the past 5 weeks he has been coughing up blood and he is very short of breath, so we assumed the Iressa is not working. He just went to the doctors for a follow up x-ray this past Monday and it showed his lungs are coated with tumors. That one small tumor developed into this in just 5 weeks. We were told that he only has 2 months to live. My family is just devistated. I am the strong one in the family, everyone leans on me for strength, I have to find it somewhere! I just had my third child, and I am so thankful dad got to be here when she was born. It meant so much to him! Dad was just about to retire early and enjoy his years, he worked 12 hour days for 30+ years in a chemical plant, then this had to happen. Dad also hasn't smoked in over 30 years, I just don't get it. He will probably not be here for his 61st birthday this December. This is just ripping my heart out!

Thanks for listening, I will keep you posted on the difficult weeks to come.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all too.
K.

 
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Old 10-16-2003, 07:34 AM   #2
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i am so sorry to hear about your Dad. Just hug him and love him and cherrish every moment you can while heis still here. Remeber Heaven needs good people and your Dad will be the angel on your shoulder when ever you need him he will be there--happy and healthy!
My Mom also was diagnosed with stage IIIB lung cancer 2 monthes ago, she is know doing chemo and radation after a second opinion. What she has is inoperable. She is a very tough woman and thinks she can beat this vicious decease. We are hoping and praying that she will but the doctors gave her 6 monthes if she chose to do nothing and a 20% extention of life if she did chemo and radiation. We take one day at a time and thank God for each good day we have with her.
May God bless you and your Dad, I will add you to my prayers. Always remeber to cherrish each day as it is your last--hug your kids and tell them each day many times a day how much you love them.

 
Old 10-16-2003, 07:34 AM   #3
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I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, he sounds like a very wonderful man. Enjoy as much time with him as you can and I'm sure that you will both remember the birth of your third child and how much it meant for him to be there. You and your family are in my prayers and thoughs.

T.

 
Old 10-16-2003, 08:28 AM   #4
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I am saddened about your father. I am sorry he will not be able to enjoy the years he so well deserved. My Dad was not quite retired yet when he died suddenly of a heart attack the day after Christmas. It was 14 years ago this year, but it's painful every year. My kids never got to know him, so you really are lucky for that! My Mom has cancer and has been a wonderful grandmother, but is now stage4 with colon cancer that has spread to her lungs and stomach. Her oncologist won't committ to a time limit, but her primary doctor said her condition is very grave and in her opinion said it would be about 3 months. I am scared it will be at Christmas again. It's hard with 3 kids to explain this and be happy for them when they don't really understand and just want to be happy about the holidays. I know they will miss her, but it's hard when you have to put on a "happy" face for everyone else. When you need to cry, just do it. It takes time. There would be times I would be shopping and think to myself, "My Dad would really like that" and forget that he wasn't there anymore. He wasn't in his recliner anymore, or working in the yard. The worst part now that I am older and can appreciate how hard he worked is that he spent 20 years serving our country and then worked in the defense industry for over 10 years and was not able to enjoy any of it. So, I know how you feel. Sometimes I think it's harder when you know someone is dying. What do you say to them? I am going through that with my Mom right now. I think my Dad had the right idea! It's much harder to watch someone suffer. I wish you luck and enjoy every moment you can. What else can you do? Don't beat yourself up over it. I do have one question though about your Dad's work. What kind of chemicals did he work with and could this have contributed to his sickness? I would really wonder about that. My relatives live in Pa and the area they live in is on the list for one of the most polluted area's in the U.S. as far as ground contamination. Their kids all have a lot of problems and there are many people with serious illnesses that I have heard about. It's just a thought. I guess that is a coping mechanism for me to find the source of the problem! Take care. I am not a lawyer either, just curious!

 
Old 10-16-2003, 08:29 AM   #5
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I am saddened about your father. I am sorry he will not be able to enjoy the years he so well deserved. My Dad was not quite retired yet when he died suddenly of a heart attack the day after Christmas. It was 14 years ago this year, but it's painful every year. My kids never got to know him, so you really are lucky for that! My Mom has cancer and has been a wonderful grandmother, but is now stage4 with colon cancer that has spread to her lungs and stomach. Her oncologist won't committ to a time limit, but her primary doctor said her condition is very grave and in her opinion said it would be about 3 months. I am scared it will be at Christmas again. It's hard with 3 kids to explain this and be happy for them when they don't really understand and just want to be happy about the holidays. I know they will miss her, but it's hard when you have to put on a "happy" face for everyone else. When you need to cry, just do it. It takes time. There would be times I would be shopping and think to myself, "My Dad would really like that" and forget that he wasn't there anymore. He wasn't in his recliner anymore, or working in the yard. The worst part now that I am older and can appreciate how hard he worked is that he spent 20 years serving our country and then worked in the defense industry for over 10 years and was not able to enjoy any of it. So, I know how you feel. Sometimes I think it's harder when you know someone is dying. What do you say to them? I am going through that with my Mom right now. I think my Dad had the right idea! It's much harder to watch someone suffer. I wish you luck and enjoy every moment you can. What else can you do? Don't beat yourself up over it. I do have one question though about your Dad's work. What kind of chemicals did he work with and could this have contributed to his sickness? I would really wonder about that. My relatives live in Pa and the area they live in is on the list for one of the most polluted area's in the U.S. as far as ground contamination. Their kids all have a lot of problems and there are many people with serious illnesses that I have heard about. It's just a thought. I guess that is a coping mechanism for me to find the source of the problem! Take care. I am not a lawyer either, just curious!

 
Old 10-16-2003, 09:12 AM   #6
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Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers during this difficult situation.

whtnowblonde, I am sorry to hear about your dad and mom. It's is so true, when they are suffering like that, you just don't know what to say. I hug him and tell him I love at every visit. But most of the time I am at a loss for words.

You had asked about his work. I personally do believe this cancer was caused from his job. He worked with silicon and many other chemicals. The type of cancer he has, adenocarcinoma, is most likely seen in non-smokers, and in women. That is what all of the books I'm reading tell me. I'm wondering if it's triggered from fumes/chemicals? I don't know. My mom has been questioning this too. It crossed our minds to consult a lawyer, but what would it do? Actually now that I think, it wouldn't help out my dad, it's too late, but maybe it would help out all of the other young people who are doing the same job my dad has done for all of these years. It is definately something to think about. I will keep it in the back of my mind, right now I just want to be there for dad and mom and help them through the next few months. It is going to be very difficult. Thanks for your thoughts, I will keep you posted.

K.

 
Old 10-19-2003, 11:19 AM   #7
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I am so sorry for you. Your dads condition is like a mirror to my dads. He was 61 when he died in march this year. He too was getting treated for arthritis also migraines kept going back to the docs as he was losing weight and drinking an awful lot of water.

He eventually got tests and found his enzymes to be very high he then went into hospital for scans found he had tumours everywhere even his hip where the family doc thought it was arthritis. We got told he had 2 months but he only got 6 weeks with us but those weeks where so precious to us.

So please make this a very special time for you all don't be sad because those days you have left with him are what you will remember for the rest of your life, you tell him everything you ever wanted to tell him and keep the next few months in your heart.

I will be praying for you and your family if you need to ask anything we are all here to help you through this don't think you are alone. You are in my heart ..god bless.. luv maggie

 
Old 10-20-2003, 06:10 AM   #8
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Thank you for your kind words maggie. We had a big scare yesterday. Mom called me at 10 am telling me dad had severe pain in his chest and back. He could not sit, get up, or lay down. He was just howling and moaning in pain. Just the day before he was fine. Outside in his wheelchair visiting with his 7 grandchildren. Mom called hospice, 4 hours later the nurse came and we all decided to take him to the Hospice Inn at our local hospital. He had a quiet ambulance ride to the hopsital, he couldn't get in our car. At the hospice inn they are finding his medicine range with the morphine drip. Once the morphine is regulated they told him he could go home. He will be able to press a button and get releif. I'm wondering is the end within days? How long will he last like this, he seems to be going in and out of consciousness, but the nurses all say he is not dying today, tomorrow or next week. What else will happen to him. He just wants to be peacefull, away from all of this pain. Has anyone had this experience? How much longer after the morphine drip will he live. This is just breaking my heart to see him like this. He was always such a strong brave man.
K.

 
Old 10-20-2003, 10:34 AM   #9
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i am saddened to hear of your pain for your dad, i can not give you anyhope or advise as i havenot made it to this stage yet. My heart goes out to you and your family thru these tough times. Just remember that God will only give you and your Dad what you can handle. Pray for him lots that the suffering stops and he goes home where he know belongs. Let your father know that you will be ok without him, as he will be your angel in heaven until you meet again. Maybe he is waiting to hear this before he leaves.
Also we were told that when my Mom would start spitting blood that was a signal that the time was near.
May GOd Bless you and your family. you are in our prayers. Be strong for your Dad.. hug and kiss him... touch is very important to cancer patients.

 
Old 10-20-2003, 11:22 AM   #10
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I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's condition. My heart goes to you and our family. Be strong and stay positive. If there's anything I can help, please don't hesitate to ask.


 
Old 10-30-2003, 07:41 AM   #11
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Dear medphoto,
My heart goes out to you, your father, and your whole family. I know what you are going through, my mother was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer, stage 4, with spreading to the brain. She has had chemo, and radiation. At the present time she is on Iressa. and seems to be doing ok. My mom still doesnt have any hair since the radiation back in July.
Me and my brother are the only caregivers, because my dad passed away on May of 2002 of cardiac arrest.
When you have time, just try to sit down and talk to GOD. He can soothe the pain that you are all going through if you just ask him. That is what I did.
With heartfelt love
Jb

 
Old 12-04-2003, 07:17 AM   #12
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Re: Dad is not doing well-NSCLC-Sage IV

It is with great sadness I have to tell you that my dad passed away on Thanksgiving morning. I have such an empty feeling inside. He has been my whole life for the past 8 months. Everything I did revolved around dad. I have another post where I went into detail "Dad passed on Thanksgiving morning". Fortunately he had a little bit of time where he was peaceful before he passsed. It is just an image that I will keep with me forever. Thanks for all of your prayers.
K.

 
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