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Old 09-16-2005, 09:43 PM   #1
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Mother small cell lung cancer.. need knowledge

Our mother is dying of small cell lung cancer.. she has been given about a month or less. It is now at 3 weeks.. My sister and I, Molly, want to know what to expect.. what signs to look for.. We've never heard of this Terminal Sedation. Hospice is involved in this. Today she is in the worse pain yet, struggling more with breathing, loss of appetite, and speaking of hard pain, numbness on left side.. She still seems very aware of things..we are just at a loss on what to expect next.. Just needing some help.. anyone..
Thanks
Mary and Molly

Mother refusing treatment

Last edited by Molly&Mary; 09-16-2005 at 09:50 PM.

 
Old 09-17-2005, 10:49 AM   #2
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Re: Mother small cell lung cancer.. need knowledge

Our mother was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer 3 weeks ago today..
The doctor at that time said she had less than a month. No treatment options for her. She just wants to go home, she says everyday. We have over the past 3 weeks upped her meds so many times.. nothing seems to help her really sleep well at all.. it will work for a few days then it's back to the same pain, feeling like she can't breath well, numbness, lack of sleep.. it's just the most awful thing to go thru for her and for us watching someone you love so much not only dying, but suffering and feeling so helpless.

We talk to hospice constantly. We just do not know how this will go for her. If there is anyone who can give us any advise, any information, tell us what they experienced, what we can expect or look for.. anything.. please respond.

Thank you all..
Molly and Mary

 
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Old 09-17-2005, 12:17 PM   #3
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Re: Mother small cell lung cancer.. need knowledge

Molly and Mary, my heart goes out to you. I am in remission right now and so thankful for each day. I can tell you my father suffered from emphysema and lung cancer showed up several months before he died. His last months he was on oxygen constantly, had regular breathing treatments with Albuterol, and still had very labored breathing at times. Thankfully toward the end he was unconscience and showed no signs of suffering the last two days. We were losing our mother to congestive heart failure and lost her almost exactly a week later. No words can describe the heartbreak of watching one you love suffer with the frightened look in their eyes. We upped the pain medication regularly until I feared we would cause their death with the massive amounts they tolerated. I pray for you and your Mom, that she can be medicated enough to not suffer. Hospice was wonderful to our parents, and did all they could to make them as comfortable as possible. Don't be afraid to voice all your concerns because they are there for the family as well. I will pray for you all each day. In Christian love, Pat

 
Old 09-17-2005, 05:01 PM   #4
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Re: Mother small cell lung cancer.. need knowledge

Thank you Pat for your caring response. Mom is a very strong christian woman with no fear of death. She knows she is going to be with Jesus. Her only fear at this point is the suffering, and the tought of sufficating to death at the end. Hospice assured us that it will be a quiet peaceful death, and your reponse helps confirm that. We know the road ahead is going to be tough.. pray for us to have strength during these trying times.

God Bless you and keep you healthy,
Molly and Mary

 
Old 09-27-2005, 05:22 PM   #5
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Re: Mother small cell lung cancer.. need knowledge

WOW I am emotional cause I have been through what you 2 are going through May God be with all of you. My father died and he had small cell carcinoma. He lived exactly 1 year to the day he was diagnosed. I am just going to shoot straight.. My daddy played a round of golf the day before he died... It was the best day ever.. The next morning basically he just keep thinking he had to go to the bathroom (URINATE) He was totally aware of everything from the time we put him on the ambulance to the minute he died which was one day right after the GOLF TRIP!!! My dad was in bed and very concerned about everyone there he kept asking us why we were all there HE WAS VERY ALERT IN SEVERE PAIN but VERY ALERT and comical to a degree... Then things that day began to slow down he asked us to rub his legs said they were hurting then (IWISH I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW) and that is under his nose began to turn blue gray and his fingernails did too.. HE WAS VERY MUCH ALIVE AND WELL but I asked the nurse and she told us (AFTER HE DIED) that was the sign when they called us all in.... HE WAS VERY ALERT with the blue and grey coloration though.. It was just a matter of time... It has by far been the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life and I am 31. Basically his kidneys were shutting down so monitor your moms urine and also look for this coloration and if she hurts in places she doesnt normally hurt means she is losing xygen to that part of her body.... I am thinking of yall hope to hear of her peaceful rest with Jesus in his due time... May she rest and may you both have the peace that passes all understanding!!!

 
Old 09-28-2005, 05:32 AM   #6
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Re: Mother small cell lung cancer.. need knowledge

Thank you everyone for your posts. Molly and I have been around the boards a bit getting information and learning more and more. Thank you to you all, and you are in our prayers...

Week 5

Mom is now

Loosing appetite. picks at food, not really hungry

Getting extremely weak w/bed side potty now

Grunts/moans/groans while sleeping

Shakes and panics having trouble breathing and catching breath

On oxygen constant and higher levels/breathing treatments regularly

Upping & changing meds left and right...

raspy rattle coughing and wheezing

Sleeps off and on a lot more

Talks out of her head a lot.. in dream like state most of the time

Numbness that started in a small space w/pain in her left upper back (lung where the cancer is) has grown to all around left side to mid stomach, down to top of legs and up over left breast.

Hardness under left breast and a deeper pain

She cannot hardly get up on her own now, cannot walk with walker hardly at all or gets extremely winded and out of breath.. using a wheel chair when she insists on going into the bathroom.. cannot hardly get her self up from a lying position when in bed

These are some of the things that have changed for mom and the nurse says she is in her final stages.. how long the final stages will last, we don't know for sure.. she has a healthy heart and was an extremely healthy woman before the cancer.

I hope this information will be helpful to anyone out there in that wondering state with a loved one. We will keep you posted..

Thank you for your support and prayers.. We so appreciate you guys..

Mary

 
Old 10-07-2005, 05:53 AM   #7
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Re: Mother small cell lung cancer.. need knowledge

Our last post was giving information on the final stages we were beginning to see with our mother.

10/04/05 She passed away. One week after this post. The funeral is this Saturday..

Our goal in coming here was to get information on Mom's illness. It was extremely frustrating not being able to find the information we wanted while searching books and internet.. You sit there with someone you love so dearly dieing from SCLC and you are the primary caretaker. You want to know what to expect, what are the stages, what to look for, ... sitting there in the unknown, for us, was so difficult. Our mother is no longer here, she is in Heaven dancing with Jesus. She is at peace, she is strong, healthy, happy, no longer in pain.

We want to post to anyone in the same situtation so hopefully it will help them to know what signs to look for. We realize they say all are different, but maybe our experience might help another..

The final week:

The weakness was more extreme. We had to pick her up, help her up, no longer at all able to walk and was put on a cathider..

Saturday (she passed the following Tuesday) She was barely able to swallow if at all and stopped eating

Sunday, no longer able to drink water.

Monday, was extremely restless and didn't sleep for approx. 14 hrs. She wanted to sit up, couldn't get rested to sleep at all.

Monday night around 12:30am.. after heavy doses of morphine and such (creams, dropper under tongue, injections, patches) she finally drifted off to sleep.

Tuesday the aid came in and bathed her and she didn't awaken at all.. she never did. The Hospice nurse came in, her blood pressure extremely low, heart rate high, running fever. By 4:35pm she left us.

Her fear of lung cancer wasn't dying.. it was HOW she would die.. she feared sufficating. She did not as everyone had told her she wouldn't.. IT WAS EXTREMELY PEACEFUL..

The blotchy skin and the skin discoloration in her feet did not happen until after her passing. We never saw that till after.

4 days before her passing she had a vision with my sister Molly sitting at her side. Molly wrote down what they said and I'd like to share it with you all here.

Betty (our dear Mother) In His Presence!!!

======================================== ===============
Mom woke up and wanted to sit up.. then she was asking why cant she stand, why cant she walk...I told her God was going to take her soon.. Told her God was preparing her Mansion... we just talked about heaven... then she said I can see it.. I can see .. I said what do you see momma? this is how it went

Mom: I see Daddy (grandpa)
Me: Is he happy?
Mom: yes he is smiling
Me: What else do you see?
Mom: Flowers, beautiful Flowers
Me: what color are the flowers?
Mom: Pink, white and light green.
Me: What are you wearing?
Mom: a robe
Me: What color?
Mom: pretty light green
Me: What else do you see?
Mom: Momma, her hair is white (grandma)
Me: does she still have wrinkles?
Mom: no, pretty smooth skin, she is smiling at me
Me: Can you see any angels?
Mom: Yes!
Me: what do they look like?
Mom: thousands of them, they are too bright...I cant see their faces.. Just REAL BRIGHT.
Me: Mom, are they coming for you?
Mom: I dont know
Me: give them your hand mom
Mom: I want to go with them... bye baby
Me: go ahead mom,, go with them
Mom: stressed look on her face suddenly
Mom: God said not yet!
Mom: not yet!
Me: he is letting you see a glimpse of what's to come.
Mom: I want to go with the angels
Me: God will let you soon
Mom: Ok... God said not yet
Me: did you see the gates of heaven?
Mom: yes
Me: what did they look like?
Mom: light blue... prettiest light blue I ever seen.

That was about it... omg it was sooo amazing!

 
Old 10-12-2005, 01:10 PM   #8
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Re: Mother small cell lung cancer.. need knowledge

mary and molly...i have just logged in today to be a member. i
myself have sclc. i am 53. i went thru chemo and like you two
i would like to know somethings about sclc. when was your
mom diagnoised? how long did she last. i always think that
when i die i will suffocate to, but its good to know that doesnt
happen. please tell me about her and her side affects. thanking
you in advance and i am so sorry for your loss.

 
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