rockie

i know this is hard to hear, but knowing how long one has left .... (maybe) might be a detriment. My hubby's onc said a long time ago..."I could tell you you have 6 months...and you go home, pull up your calendar and start marking off the days ...then I would tell you -- you might as well give up and die. Most doctors will not tell you how long...so much is very individual. Some people are past their dx..and some have fellen short. Cherish each day, learn to love the days when they aren't so lovable, and remember that one day you will miss that voice, no matter how abrasive it might be (pain can really change a person's tone of voice) or the words they say (some are still dealing with denial, with the truth of things, or worse yet, with anger at you for not being able to help them more). This is all natural. My husband is a frog's hair from being stage IV nsclc and I can tell you that some days things are not so pleasant...mostly my being unable to help his state of breathlessness. Or, his chest pain. Or his fear of leaving me alone to cope with things..."after". When I hold him in my arms at night I think how blessed I am to still have him in my life.
Talk to him, let him vent and then hold his hand and remind him of days gone by when things were good, of good memories. Of summer days, and Christmas', a special thing here and there you can share.

I have added you to my prayer list...take care of yourself too...that is important. I have forgotten to do that myself, and just now relearning that I am important too. If I remain strong, I can keep him strong.

Hugs and all...
Jan in Eville IN