Dad Can No Longer Leave Home - Cancer: Lung Message Board

cruiser50 · 05-12-2006, 08:15 AM

It has only been 5 weeks since Dad was diagnosed with sclc. Tuesday he went to see his GP and the trip was so hard for him that we thought he was going to die right there in the parking lot!

Hospice arrived last night to start making his life easier. He has chosen to do nothing to fight the cancer. The hospice nurse said I should be moving in with him now but he is still fighting losing his independance and privacy. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to argue with my dying father!!

How can it happen so fast?? Just a month ago he was normal. Now he is cyanotic and can't breath.

Please, if you can give me any support I really need it. Mom is gone and he is all I have left.

Bethsch · 05-12-2006, 09:09 AM

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I truly know how difficult it is to accept. It is 4 weeks to the day, today, that my dad passed away from lung cancer. He had only been diagnosed 6 weeks prior to his death. It is truly shocking and I still wake up in the middle of the night and jump up when I remember. My dad was very weak. He actually had 1 dose of chemo but then developed a septic infection which he did start to recover from. He just never recovered. My prayers are with you. Please just let your dad know how much you love him. I feel so blessed that I had that opportunity to say goodbye. Take care of yourself also.

Love,

Beth

cruiser50 · 05-12-2006, 06:50 PM

Bethsch:
Thanks for your words of kindness and support. Today Dad was put on sub lingual morphine to ease his breathing, it seems to be making a tremendous difference.

I am just trying to hold on. My siblings ( who aren't spending any time with him at all) are finding fault with the way I am trying to handle things. I just have to go on doing what feels right to me and not wory about those things, but it does bother me.

Thanks to all the people here for letting me vent.

rockie · 05-12-2006, 08:26 PM

God bles you C...
there are so many that hold us up against the wall and all we do is try our best. You stand strong and KNOW that you are doing your best. Holding you up in prayer....

Jan

cruiser50 · 05-13-2006, 06:11 PM

Jan thank you so much. Dad had a real bad reaction to the morphine they started him on yesterday. During the night he had a psychotic episode and it was scary. Today they admitted him to hospice in patient, he has an upper respi infection and they fear pneumonia.

Why does it seem that the deathbed watch turns siblings and others into persons who say things they don't mean and back biting and nasty words about how one did or didn't treat a loved one at an earlier time. The waiting room is the worst place for this type of in-fighting but it still goes on. Why can't everyone unite to take care of the ddying loved one?? I do not understand and it breaks my heart.

God Bless all of you for being here.