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Old 07-21-2006, 09:35 AM   #1
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ljh1011 HB User
my mom just diagnosed with lunc cancer

HI.This by far has been the worst week of my life .My mom has just been diagnosed with lung cancer.I don't know exactly what form it is but a biopsy confirmed a mass in her left lung is cancer. It is not operable but is supposed to respond well to chemo and radiation.What exactly does that mean? Is that just a nice way of saying that she may have a little longer to live or that it could put her into remission and cancer free no worries?I am so worried!I love my mom so much she is my best friend I know that sounds corney but we have always been very close and I go to my mom for everything.I don't know how to deal with this I don't know how to be strong for her.I have to be strong for her!But I can't stop crying ,I can't stop thinking the worst, I can't sleep .I am basically a basket case.I know my mom is terrified ,but she is at least being very optomistic which is good I guess.I am just worried the odds are stacked against her.She is 66 yrs old ,has heart didease,and infazemia and now cancer.She has smoked for as long as I can remember(I am 35)and even after 2 heart attacks and the diagnosis of enfazemia(SP) she will not quit. I hope she will finnaly quit now but the damage has already been done.Can anyone tell me what I can expect while my mom is going through chemo?Any advise on How to deal with this?What is the sucsess rate on chemo working for lung cancer? Any advise on how to make her quit smoking?Any help would be great ! Thanks LJ

 
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Old 07-21-2006, 01:36 PM   #2
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Janmarie2 HB User
Re: my mom just diagnosed with lunc cancer

Sorry to hear about your mom. I hope you will find help as well as comfort on this board.

Trust me you do not sound corney when you talk about your relationship with your mom. I think there is no bond that comes close to the mother daughter bond, especially once we become adults and see what they have endured for us. We learn to appreciate them and that only strengthens that bond. I have learned not to feel sorry that yes the cancer will kill my mom and take her from me but rather to feel happy that I had the mother I did. I have several friends that have no realtionship with their mothers for various reasons and to me that is much more tragic. I have at least had the love of a great mother and will always have that in my heart and in my memories unlike them.

I remember the out of control feeling when my mom was first diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV and the doctor told us maybe 6 months without treatment maybe a year with treatment and because of my mom's age at the time 80 yrs old. He seemed to believe she would be better off with no treatment. My mom had no other health issues and was a young 80yr old.She opted for treatment and chemo was her only choice as radiation was not offered to her. I remember the constant state of fear I lived in and crying, not sleeping, not being able to eat, spending every minute of ever day consumed by the cancer. I survived that stage and am stronger for it. Your life will never be back to normal as you knew it but you manage to forge ahead and create a new normal. My mom is currently a 2 year survivor so I have had plenty of time to deal with this.

My mom's first chemo was the worst but that may be because somewhere during that time she developed a pneumonia and urinary tract infection so when she was done with the chemo and should have been feeling better she felt worse. My mom has been lucky as she tolerates the treatments well with few side effects her number one complaint is fatigue. The first chemo was the worst as she did not feel like eating as it effected her taste buds and it caused painful neuropathy in her limbs and she got quite weak and required a wheel chair but I think alot of that was also due to how run down the cancer had gotten her before it was found. Since then her treatments with tarceva and the other chemo drugs have been not too bad and she lives a normal life and yes has not even needed a wheelchair or felt short of breath since the Tarceva as she was lucky in that she responded well to Tarceva and it did away with the actual tumor in her lungs and since then her problem is mets in the liver which have yet to cause any symptoms as the chemo has kept them controlled for now.

My advice to you is try to calm down and learn which type of cancer she has and learn as much as you can about it and the treatment and be your mom's advocate go with her to doctors appointments and chemo, be there for her and appreciate each day with her. Do not accept the doctors time frames as they are frequently way off as everyone is different and responds to treatments or even to the cancer in different ways. The doctors are just quoting stastics and our loved ones are not stastics they are individuals.

When you look at the reality of it, yes she has lung cancer and yes the survival rates are not good but she is still on the same playing field as you and I are.None of us knows when we will die.We could get hit by a car, die of a sudden stroke or thousands of other things including something like sepsis from an everday cut but we do not walk around thinking about it. I know for a fact that I or one of my siblings could die before my mom.We do not know when she will die just as we do not know when any of us will . Death is a part of life and accepting that has helped me cope alot.

If my mom dies first yes I will miss her more then words can say and yes it will be a HUGE void in my life but I also feel we are spiritual beings having a human experience , Having said that I know death will not be the end of her life.

Use this board to vent your fears and anger as well as pick the brains of those of us who have been coping longer as this is a great group of people and it really does help to just be heard. You will find quite a few of us with mothers with the disease here. I will add you and your mom to my sadly ever growing prayer list. JanMarie

Last edited by Janmarie2; 07-21-2006 at 05:51 PM.

 
Old 07-21-2006, 07:17 PM   #3
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tuckygal HB Usertuckygal HB User
Re: my mom just diagnosed with lunc cancer

Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom's lung cancer. I have been in remission with small cell lung cancer, for a year now. Small cell responds very well to treatment. Have faith and set your mind on the fact that treatments for all cancers has improved so much in recent years. Live each day to the fullest and help your Mom be strong. I add you to my prayer list, for I know that is what has gotten me this far. Love from Ky., Pat

 
Old 07-23-2006, 10:42 AM   #4
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ljh1011 HB User
Re: my mom just diagnosed with lung cancer

Hi thanks for the replies.My mom goes in for a PET scan today to make sure there is no cancer anywere else.Right now I just feel like I am in a fog none of this seems real but unfortunatly it is.The worst thing is that I live 4 hours away from her so I can't be with her as much as I would like.I am going down to see her this weekend and hopefully by then we will know more about what she is dealing with and what type of treatment is in store for her.Thanks for the prayers and my prayers go out to anyone else who has to deal with this dreaded desease. Lj

 
Old 07-24-2006, 04:23 AM   #5
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Monkee1979 HB User
Re: my mom just diagnosed with lung cancer

Quote:
Originally Posted by ljh1011
Hi thanks for the replies.My mom goes in for a PET scan today to make sure there is no cancer anywere else.Right now I just feel like I am in a fog none of this seems real but unfortunatly it is.The worst thing is that I live 4 hours away from her so I can't be with her as much as I would like.I am going down to see her this weekend and hopefully by then we will know more about what she is dealing with and what type of treatment is in store for her.Thanks for the prayers and my prayers go out to anyone else who has to deal with this dreaded desease. Lj
Hey there, just posting to let you know that you're never alone, there's always going to be someone out there who's going through the same thing and can share a shoulder to cry on or to just talk things through. Remember, it's good to talk!

My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer at the beginning of the year, I handled the news quite well but the thing that really messed me up was that to begin with he was told that he could have surgery to have it cut out, come the day of the surgery they decide against it and tell my dad to go home.. I hadn't cried before then because I felt detached from it all, I too am around 3-4 hours travel away from my parents and I've not been able to see as much of them as I'd like, but on that day when my mum told me how the doctors had decided against operating, I'm not ashamed to admit I wept like a child, I also felt angry at the doctors for not looking at the scans before the day of the operation - they gave us a false hope and delayed the start of the chemo that he had to have by two weeks.

Just thinking about it now is making me get a little moist eyed!

I hope the PET scan goes well and comes up with the results you want to see, keep that chin up and don't let anything get you down! Let us all know how it goes! We'll be rooting for her!

 
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