My 58 year old mam was diagnosed with NSCLC (Adenocarcinoma), I think stage IV, back in April. It all started with a really bad back, lower spine, in October last year which was diagnosed as arthritis for months! She went through agony and we spent a fortune on chiropractors / tens machines etc. In Feb this year she started with breathing problems which was diagnosed as bronchitis for a few weeks..... I was aware that she was becoming quite ill and feared she had lung cancer but as she was seeing her GP most weeks, I thought I must be overreacting. On 2nd April, she was rushed to hospital and during the night we nearly lost her......she had to have 4 pints of fluid drained from around her lung. She stayed in hospital for 11 nights and was diagnosed 2 weeks after that. It was confirmed a few weeks later that the spine pain was a bone met which has since been helped with radiotherapy. The fluid was apparently non malignant. She is getting her 4th chemo next week and has just had her best week since she went into hospital in April, because to say she has been at death's door since then is an understatement. She has lost almost 3 stones and hardly leaves the house. She is not in bed but cannot do alot without getting too tired. My life is on hold and I haven't beento work since..... all I do is research and worry about the future. I am 38 and an only child and all I want to do is be with my mam as I'm terrified. She is in complete denial and is talking about her pensions and stuff and buying a caravan??? I need some normality in my life I know but when she is relying on me so much, what can I do. I wish to God someone could tell me what's next but it seems not. Help.
The following user gives a hug of support to Barb240: yingjie (01-24-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to Barb240 For This Useful Post: yingjie (01-24-2012)
Barb,
I know exactly what you are going through. I lost both my parents this past May to LC. My mom openly talked about death, but my dad never brought it up until the last few weeks of his life. Its really hard to deal with not being able to talk about it. I did much research as did you. I cannot imagine being an only child. I have 4 siblings and my sister and I spent many weeks tag teaming to go be with them. Our lives were completely on hold until they died and actually mine seems to still be as I am the administrator of the estate. Make sure you find someone to talk to. I know its hard though, because unless someone has been through it I dont think they know exactly what you are going through. Be there for your mother as best you can. I was not prepared even at 52 to be thrust into this role. I thought my parents would live forever. But, here we are and somehow we will make it. I will be thinking about you and wishing you the best. Come back and talk anytime.
Becky
The following user gives a hug of support to bkerber: yingjie (01-24-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to bkerber For This Useful Post: yingjie (01-24-2012)
Thanks Becky, you're right about people not really understanding unless they have been through this. My mam has been a bit tearful the last couple of days and also quite snappy at me, which I suppose is understandable. It seems this is an ever changing process, so who knows where we'll be in a week or so. Thanks for your response.
The following user gives a hug of support to Barb240: yingjie (01-24-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to Barb240 For This Useful Post: yingjie (01-24-2012)
