My FIL - Cancer: Lung Message Board

JOMALLEY · 10-21-2006, 07:48 AM

Hi,

My FIL John, is losing his battle with cancer. He has lung cancer (diag 2yrs ago) also has brain mets. (diag 7mon.ago) He has had chemo and radiation.
Hasn't had any treatment for 6 mon. He was doing pretty good until about 3 weeks ago. He is going down hill really fast. He doesn't eat or drink , he sleeps most of the day. He is very confused.

He has been under Hospice care for 3 months now.

I was wondering if anyone could give me an idea through experience how much longer he has.
I just don't want to see him suffer any longer. It is so hard to see him slipping away. The Hospice nurse says " he is close to death" but can't really give an ideas of when. I know everyone is different and anything can happen at anytime.
I think the unknow is what is so hard. We have faced the fact that he is dying.

Thank you !!!

rockie · 10-21-2006, 09:51 AM

I understand exactly how you are feeling. I am watching my beautiful husband slipping away very quickly and it is breaking my heart. He sleeps most of the time, eats very little, ditto for drinking. The confusion that seemed to be most prevalent during the night hours is now pretty much part of his daily life. He thinks Aunt Bee and Aunt Clara (from the Andy Griffith show) are cookies on his table. Today, he could not remember which hearing aid went into which ear (they are color coded red for right, blue for left)...he kept saying they had changed since yesterday....that they didn't fit...so I had to prove him wrong.....but it took me a good half hour to convince him his ears and the hearing aids had not changed since yesterday. He mostly has a vacant look in his eyes, today he didn't want to put his wedding band on which has been his most prized posession...it just hurts to see him like this. Hospice has given us a couple of weeks, maybe more, maybe less. Hard telling. But I do know one thing, I can't stand to watch him like this.

I wish you peace and strength as you also journey this last leg.

Jan

jax6 · 10-21-2006, 07:13 PM

Sorry to hear about your FIL. I lost my dad a month and a half ago-
sclc, mets to the brain. I don't know about anyone else's experience and
everyone is different, but my dad had a lack of appetite for months, but forced himself to eat. At the end, when he stopped eating almost completely(a couple bites of soup that we fed him) he lasted for only a week. Is your
FIL in bed? Is he able to talk? (my dad had very little speech for a couple of months, due to the brain mets but, again, everyone is different). I know how
you feel because I hated seeing my dad ,who was such a strong man, so weak and I hated watching him suffer.
I wish I had a better answer for you, but I do know that my dad ,when dx with brain mets,like your FIL had no treatments and did fairly well for about 5 months, then took a turn for the worse and we lost him within a couple of weeks. When you are at the very end, you will know, and hospice will most likely give you a better time frame- my dad's hospice nurse let us know when he probably had about 72 hours and they were right.
I will be praying for you and your family. I know how difficult this part is, and
not knowing was difficult for me also.
Jackie