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Old 10-27-2006, 04:31 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Santa Barbara, California
Posts: 609
Janmarie2 HB User
Wink Flowers for my mom

Thought I would share this with all of you .A little sunshine during these dark days.

My mom is now entered into hospice care. We see the hospice doctor early next week but have met with the admissions nurse and filled out all the paperwork so it has been a rather blue few days here. My mom has been not feeling well and is having some back pain now,

Yesterday I had to take one of my parents dogs to the vets for his shots. My mom has used the same vet since we moved to California in 1970. The practice is now owned by the original vet's son who my mom has known since he was a small boy. His dad still works there too. Mom has always loved these people and they have loved her back. She bakes fancy sugar cookies that she decorates at Valentines day, Easter, Halloween and Christmas and the vets office always gets some.

When Henry ( dog) and I walked in they all asked how my mom was doing and said we hope she is feeling better, I had to tell them that she wasn't and informed them she has eneterd hospice. The room went silent and some of them were fighting back tears as they told me how much they all love her, that she is their favorite client and so special to them and that she makes such awsome cookies!

Henry got his shots, his nails trimmed and I bought a bag of CD food for the cat and when I got the bill there was a $49.00 discount which is the price of all the shots. I said I think you made a mistake here and they siad " no your mom is special and we always give her a special discount." We also got a 10% discount on the rest of the bill! I thought wow that is so sweet, then today some flowers were delivered and it turns out they are from the vet's office.

It made me cry to see that as it brought a smile to my mom's face that her friends there care that much about her. Mom then said with a very sad face" guess I won't be able to make them cookies next week". I told her I will try making her sugar cookies to take to them on Halloween so wish me luck as I am not much of a baker! I am hoping she may feel like going along so they can all see her one last time..of course that will make me cry as it will be so sad.

Hope my little story brings a smile to your faces as yes people are good and I know many of you need alittle smile right now too. God bless you all and may you all have a peaceful quiet night, JanMarie

Last edited by Janmarie2; 10-27-2006 at 04:41 PM.

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Old 10-27-2006, 09:23 PM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Irvine, CA
Posts: 614
Kimslos HB UserKimslos HB UserKimslos HB UserKimslos HB User
Re: Flowers for my mom

Oh, your story brought chills, tears and smiles all in one and then even a chuckle when I thought of you attempting to bake and decorate them. Oh, how I wish I could help you being I am so close since I love baking! I will be with you in thought so when the tears come just think of what a special gesture you are doing and keep smiling. What a beautiful and touching memory your mom has left with the vet's office. You worried me when you said she is getting back pain as from what my husband tells me the pain is unbearable. I am not sure how Stan has endured the pain for 16 months and it is getting worse so hate to see your mom endure such pain. I am very sad tonight or should I say today or heck for that matter ever since Stan has started this 4th line of chemo. I think I am losing him and don't want to hear the word hospice yet, but at the same time I see his quality is slipping. He somehow made it to our son's game last night and every time I looked at him he was miserable! He wanted to go out for a fish dinner tonight, but I had to bring fish dinner home instead. He stayed home all week except for doctor appt. and the game. People are amazed he looks so well, but feels terrible. To even make it more special for my husband they put our picture in the High Schools football program for a fundraiser lunch we went to last weekend. We have such a wonderful group of friends who really help us out and watch out for our boys.
I am in tears and need to snap out of before our youngest catches me being sad.
You are in my thoughts JanMarie and also in my prayers. You are staying at your mom's place for a while, right?
Give your mom a big hug from me!

Old 10-28-2006, 06:36 AM   #3
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Evansville IN
Posts: 504
rockie HB User
Re: Flowers for my mom

JanMarie, your sweet little mama brings smiles to me. I can picture her in my mind's eye, always doing something nice for someone...and here, in her time of need, those nice gestures came back to her. Good karma. I know how blue it is to bring hospice in. But I can tell you that I would be lost without those folks. Each is special in their own way, but they all work together for our good. I was amazed at how much they concerned themselves with my welfare also. Is her hospice going to be in home? Maybe on a good day, you can bake those famous sugar cookies together and give them to the hospice people.

I'm with you in thought an prayer...


Old 10-28-2006, 10:47 PM   #4
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Janmarie2 HB User
Re: Flowers for my mom

Jan, My mom will have in home hospice and I am hoping can make an exit from this world without having to set foot in a hospital for anything except perhaps outpatient radiation to help with the back pain if it is due to cancer mets. We meet the actual hospice DR this coming week. The HMO she belongs too contracted a hospice service as they have too many patients in their own hospice service, but the doctor is from her HMO. The admitting RN from the hospice service had never met him but after she talked to him on the phone she told us you guys will like him as he seems to be very nice.So as of now we have only met the admitting RN.

Kim, So you like to bake? Humm maybe I will drive around Irvine calling your name and you can bake these sugar cookies.. HA! I am sure I will do fine. I will let you know how it goes.

Does Andrew play for the Woodbridge Warriors? If so get this my nephews play for Brethren Christian also called the Warriors so I guess you and I are both Warrior football fans! I am glad that Stan is still able to make it to the games, too bad he is unable to enjoy them to the fullest. I keep praying that he responds to his 4th line chemo and gets more time with you and the boys.

I am down at my parents until the 2nd and after I talk to the hospice doctor I will decided when to start my family leave so I can just stay down here as it will be nice not to have that drive for awhile.

I am doubting if my mom will last too long, thou she does not have any signs of liver failure yet. She just feels so rotten and is so uncomfortable that I think she wants to go fast and may will herself to do so. She eats a little cereal for breakfast, has ensure for lunch and that is it, Drinks very little fluids.It is difficult to watch. But we can not talk her into eating or drinking any more despite the fact she feels so rotten could be related to being dehydrated and malnurished. It is a catch 22 situation.

Guess I had better go to bed as I keep waking up at 4 Am then can not get back to sleep and I am so tired. May we all have a peaceful, pleasant Sunday. JanMarie

Old 10-29-2006, 07:24 PM   #5
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Kimslos HB UserKimslos HB UserKimslos HB UserKimslos HB User
Re: Flowers for my mom

When you say your mom will have in home hospice, are you referring to the ones who visit a couple of times a week? If so that is what my FIL had, but my dad was actually in a Hospice home. It is good since you work in the medical field you already have heads up what to watch for and what to expect. Yes, it sounds as though your mom is slipping fast since she is not wanting to eat that much. I understand what you are saying about her liver not failing, but you are thinking it is her body. I am honestly thinking that is what is up with Stan. It is making me very nervous watching him decline as I can imagine you are going thru the same with your mom.

Oh yes, baking and gardening have always been relaxing for me and since Stan has gotten sick my yard has been neglected and baking is scarce these days. I just let things go these days as I hate to be baking while he is sitting in the family room or be out in the yard...I figure that can wait for now. I know you will do just fine with the cookies, if anything it will be very emotional for you, but if you need help your idea of driving around yelling my name might just work! (who knows it might even relieve some stress)

That is funny how your nephews also play a team with Warriors in it too. It is not common and there is some controversy over the use of the name Warriors. Oh speaking of Warriors our youngest had a book report project due on a Native American Indian so I have had my share of Warriors for the day. It is drying as we speak since I think it got drenched by glue! HA!

I am sorry JanMarie you are being faced with losing your mom and know it is not that much longer based on what you are sharing. I wish there was a comforting word to share with you, but just know we are all here for everyone on the posting board to try to comfort each other. You are always a ray of sunshine for me and I pray you will be okay JanMarie.

Old 10-31-2006, 04:50 PM   #6
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Santa Barbara, California
Posts: 609
Janmarie2 HB User
Re: Flowers for my mom


Just wanted you to know the cookies are baked, decorated and delivered.It went ok but I do not finding baking relaxing so doubt if I will ever be the baker my mom is.The cookies do taste good .

I had to take my mom for some Xrays so we took the cookies and stopped by the vets office and they were all surprized to see her and came out to say hi and give her hugs. I think it was nice for her to get out for as short of a trip as it was as sitting at home all day has got to be so boring when you are someone that was as active as she was.

Today we met her actual hospice nurse , Sam. She is a good match for my mom as she too is a big animal lover and has lots of pets which gives them a common thing to talk about as they get to know each other.She is kind of an earthy persoan and I like that. I was going to lock the dogs up but she said she did not mind them and would rather I leave them out. We all seem to like her. She is going to see about getting my mom on some steroids to help with the shoulder pain which may be inflammation as the bone scan showed nothing in that area and to just stimulate her a bit and maybe get her eating /drinking a bit more. The bone scan did show something in the lower spine and mid spine could be cancer could be arthritis.

The hospice care is home hospice, I do not think you could get my mom away from her home. My dad is here as are the dogs and cat, all her things and neighbors so this is where she will be the happiest and that is important.

I do hope Stan managed to have a good day.I am really pulling for him to get some more quality time to spend with you and the boys. Andrew is a senior, correct? I want to see Stan make it to graduation as it will mean so much to both of them.Stan and you are always in my prayers.

Jan, know I am sending lots of prayers your way too.I am glad that Bud got a good nights sleep and I hope they can keep him comfortable. I am glad that Hospice is such a help to you as this is too difficult to not have help like them there.

Renea you and your husband are also in my thoughts and prayers everyday. I hope that your hospice team is as good as ours seems to be as I think it can make a huge difference in the end of life. Maybe the chaplin or social worker can help you with the rest of the family as Hospice is as much for the family as it is for the person with cancer.

Well I had better go as soon all the trick or treaters will be out. Happy Halloween to all. JanMarie

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