Well, I'd say the doctor showed his hand, wouldn't you---we are still awaiting the biopsy results with everyone telling me to "think positively" and my saying, "come on, I recognize that look on the doctor's face and know this is only a formality. He had to know from the PET scan and why would you disseminate false hope?". So when we got home there was a letter from the insurance company okaying a referral to a thoracic surgeon!! Pretty nifty, huh? The doctor goes ahead and asks the primary for a referral so it would be in place when he tells us "well, now we have to go to step 2" but we got it BEFORE he could even say that. So do I tell everyone "I told you so"? At least we don't have to hear the words from the doctor's mouth. When he calls, do I cut him off and tell him we already know and that I think it was a pretty cheap shot to be strung along? I'm not the patient. My boyfriend is the patient so I don't want to irritate this doctor (and we all know how easily they do that) but I am exceedingly displeased with the methods of "breaking news".
sorry that you are having a rough time with this doctor. maybe you should call up th eoffice and ask to speak to him about it and just get a clear . sometimes misunderstandings do happen. so just get to the bottom of what is going on so you and your boyfriend are not put thru any further distress.good luck to both of you . and if it turns out you feel lead on by this doc i would not go back to him. your boyfriend has to feel comfortable and confident with his doc..........
you might want to consider that he is trying to have all the ducks lined up in case you need them, so you wouldn't want to wait for the burocracy if the results would require your boyfriend to have surgery. The doctors seem to be trained to work with the worse case scenario always. I'm not sure if it is the fear of being sued or what, but they seem to always think the worst.
It is easier to cancel an appointment then to get one as usually there are long waits so give the doctor the benefit of the doubt as maybe he is just getting things ready incase they are needed so that the wait is not as long. I know alot of doctors that would get things lined up before they know for sure, see it often at work. It is stressful for you but that is how the medical world works.
On the other hand doctors do not always do a good job of breaking bad news in my mom's case she had her CT while an inpatient in the hospital following a 2nd pleural effussion and it was a Sunday morning, well Sunday afternoon when I got there the doctor was paged and could not be bothered to come to the room so told me the results that my mom had lung cancer over the phone thus I was the one that had to tell my mom the bad news as she was right there in the room looking at me waiting to hear. As hard as it was there was no way I could have lied to my mom.
Will send positive thoughts and prayers your boyfriend's way. Take care, JanMarie
JanMarie, I know EXACTLY how you feel since I had to break the news to both my parents that they had cancer. I could not believe it. For my mother, I asked the doctor if he had told my mother and he said "no, I think it would be better from you". I have never recovered from that.
Yes, I think you all have the right attitude--I know the doctor wanted to be organized and be ready but it really disturbs me that this big cancer research institute hasn't worked on the psychological/emotional end of this disease and the family. If any group should have the whole picture down to a science it's these people.
It is very sad but true medicine does not treat the whole person including psychological/emotional . The health care system needs to rethink that as it is now when you walk into a hospital for treatment it is for your disease not the whole body or person. There are a few places that do focus on the whole person and not just your disease and I am sure that makes a big difference in things. Hang in there. Janmarie