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Cancer: Lung Message Board
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Old 01-30-2007, 03:54 PM   #1
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mamasue HB User
Hello, this is my first time at posting any kind of message on a forum

I just wondered if there was anybody out there who also has a hubby with lung cancer that has totally refused to have any treatment whatsoever. My husband is having more regular daytime naps now, and is hardly eating much at all - he has lost a huge amount of weight and is extremely skinny. I'm just so sad all the time and apart from looking everything up on the internet i feel at a total loss to do anything. Thanks for listening folks.

 
Old 01-30-2007, 04:51 PM   #2
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LisaFaith HB User
Re: Hello, this is my first time at posting any kind of message on a forum

Hi mamasue,
I am so sorry that you have to join us here, but you've come to a great place to find support. My Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer on December 17, 2006. I am sorry that your husband does not want treatment. If you don't mind my asking, why doesn't he want treatment? You are really in tough situation right now. I hope you find the strength and support you need.

Last edited by LisaFaith; 01-30-2007 at 07:20 PM.

 
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Old 01-30-2007, 06:17 PM   #3
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mabegb HB User
Re: Hello, this is my first time at posting any kind of message on a forum

mamasue- so sorry for your husbands illness. how long ago was he diagnosed?im sure you are beside yourself. im sure he is very scared of the uncertainities that lie ahead. i have known others who originally refuse treatment to come around after talking the doctors and others. i will keep you and him in thoughts and prayers.

 
Old 01-30-2007, 07:45 PM   #4
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postiemayer HB User
Re: Hello, this is my first time at posting any kind of message on a forum

So sorry for you. My husband has small cell lung cancer and has been thru several sessions of chemo which have reduced the tumors but he is probably close to the stopping point and letting nature take it's course. I don't know what type of cancer your husband has, or how long, but non small cell has a much better chance from what I understand. The thing is, and I bet there are a lot out there that will hang me for this, I have realized that this disease is a personal thing and each person must deal with it with their own way. Any time my husband says it's time to quit, I must respect that. I don't want to lose him, but it is his choice. I just hope your hubby is aware of what options he has. I will pray for your strength.

Last edited by postiemayer; 01-30-2007 at 07:48 PM.

 
Old 01-30-2007, 08:06 PM   #5
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conan1017 HB User
Re: Hello, this is my first time at posting any kind of message on a forum

Hi mamasue-

Welcome to the board. I think what your husband needs (as we all do) is hope. To different people hope means slightly different things, but I believe the general definition for hope is simply "A reason to live and press on." My wife is only 43, never smoked and has stage 4 NSCLC. Both she and I understand that her chances are not good as this late stage is considered non-curable. But to live without hope is not living, but simply "existing" for a time. Treatments (especially chemo) are tough, but the alternative is tougher. There is something about fighting this disease that keeps the human spirit alive. Understandably elderly patients may not want to go through with treatments late into their life, as they likely have lived a full life. Others however, still desire to keep going and are willing to fight it. The point being that if one feels he/she still has some living to do, then that is the hope we must have. Wether it means getting more time or even trying to beat the odds, we must keep hoping.

Speaking for myself, I have to live everyday with the prospect that I may lose someone whom I love deeply and become a single father of 3 young children. That alone is enough to sink you into deep depression. But I can't afford that so I keep hoping and believing that one way or another things will work out.

Please try to understand that cancer attacks the mind (spirit) as well as the body. Your husband needs you to be strong for him. I know it is hard, we all struggle. But if your husband sees you losing hope, he will likely remain in his present condition. However if he sees you fighting for him, praying for him and doing all you can, he may be encouraged and change his position. I don't know how long he has known of his cancer, but the first few months are probably the hardest to absorb. Perhaps he just needs some more time to come to grips with his diagnosis.

I hope I have been helpful. I also hope you will spend some time here as I know how helpful this board has been to me. I am certian you will find that the people here understand, are compassionate and can be a wealth of information.

God Bless,

conan

added: Let me say that what I have written is not to say that one should continue with treatment til the end ...but that I believe it is best to fight as long as one can or desires to. I wouldn't dare judge anyone for stopping treatment or not having it at all. My point was primarily an observation of those I know who have fought and continue to fight this disease.

Last edited by conan1017; 01-30-2007 at 08:14 PM.

 
Old 01-31-2007, 02:05 AM   #6
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mamasue HB User
Re: Hello, this is my first time at posting any kind of message on a forum

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamasue View Post
I just wondered if there was anybody out there who also has a hubby with lung cancer that has totally refused to have any treatment whatsoever. My husband is having more regular daytime naps now, and is hardly eating much at all - he has lost a huge amount of weight and is extremely skinny. I'm just so sad all the time and apart from looking everything up on the internet i feel at a total loss to do anything. Thanks for listening folks.
Firstly, thank you to all those wonderful people who replied to my posting. I'm afraid i have only recently learned (by myself) to use a computer, and as so can see it is taking me simply ages to even find out how to reply to you all. I'm not usually so stupid, and can't fathom why i'm having trouble to learn all this - but please bear with me while i try and muddle thru to try and get more proficient at this replying thing. Just reading everybodys threads made me incredibly sad and teary, and i can only wonder WHY???? as we all have wondered many, many times do these dreadful, hateful, diseases have to come upon the ones we love so much.
My husband was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis and emphysema in August '06 - however, 10 days ago the doctor diagnosed lung cancer with pleural effusion. Neither of us asked about what kind of lung cancer as the doctor started to talk about palliative care. The doctor asked my husband what he wanted to do about it in the way of treatment and my husband replied "we will just let it run its course" so there we are. My hubby is 61 and has been a heavy smoker for over 40 yrs he has also worked in every (from the standpoint of ones lungs) possible dusty, grainy, farming, factory etc. etc kind of job, including spraying, painting etc. etc. Enough said about all that, i do feel bad about joining this forum now because i know many, many of you havent ever smoked before and yet have still contracted this hateful disease. I guess, i just needed to talk to someone outside of the family and also because although i have been married for 38 years i still cant convince my husband of certain things once he has set his mind on something. He has always been a law unto himself. But i do feel so very helpless in this instance, and it feels like everything is closing in on me lately. We have just had horrific bush fires in this area and luckily our home and land is still fine but the stress was incredible. I have just been diagnosed with underactive thyroid, and i also was a smoker until September 6th when i went cold turkey after having the shock of my hubbies diagnosis. However, all of this palls into insignificance when i think about all the people in the world that are really and truly suffering. I just want to send my prayers, best wishes, and love to everybody out there and thank everyone once again that took the time and thought to reply to my post. My heart goes out to all of you and i sincerely hope things improve for you all very soon.

 
Old 01-31-2007, 05:05 AM   #7
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conan1017 HB User
Re: Hello, this is my first time at posting any kind of message on a forum

mamasue-

The best thing about the forum is that you can talk to people here who really understand what you are going (family sometimes does not). We all have our differing opinions, but at the end of the day we support each other. Most have difficulty managing the stress that comes from family members and sometimes it helps just to come on the board and vent. So please don't feel bad, you are welcomed here. I consider it a support group ...a place where I can talk openly about the hardships and the good reports we encounter. Most liken cancer to rollercoaster ride with its continuous ups and downs. So make yourself at home and know that you are being prayed for.

conan

 
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