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Old 03-04-2007, 12:42 PM   #1
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DanielleRenee HB User
Unhappy My mother is dying.

I have just turned 15. I found out about a month ago that my mom has lung cancer. She is only 41. She went through surgery this past friday, then we found out the cancer spread and they cannot take it out. Doctors say she may only have a few more years left. It's hard to think of what it will be like with out my mother. We never had a very close relationship because my parents have divorced. But now i hate to think that i wont be going to see her every summer. And i wont be getting phone calls from her on holidays and my birthday. I cry myself to sleep every night. A mother is supposed to be a daughters best friend right? My mom will never see me graduate, or get married and have kids. The worst thing of all is that she lives two states away. I wont be there to hold her hand. or tell her how much i love her and will miss her. I dont know what to do..My mom is me..I am my mom. A part of me will be gone forever.

 
Old 03-04-2007, 04:07 PM   #2
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canadadiva HB User
Re: My mother is dying.

I am so sorry to hear about your mom, that is awful. She is young and sometimes life just isn't fair. I hope you can make the most of the time you have left. Are you able to visit her? If not then maybe you could just talk on the the phone or send letters. Letters are nice because you can keep them forever. God Bless.

 
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Old 03-04-2007, 04:42 PM   #3
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Hammer6401 HB User
Re: My mother is dying.

I am deeply saddened to hear about your Mom. It is an awful disease. There is not a lot to say that can take away your fears or your pain....I know because I have been there...I lost my Father to cancer in 2005. I am 35 years old, now and miss him every day....but it gets easier...I have morre happy thoughts about him than bad ones...If I could give you any advice it would be to go and spend some time with her...it will do wonders for her and will help you in the long haul too....i spent a lot of time with my Dad and put everything else on hold....it meant the world to him....I know in my heart I did all I could to help him...even if it meant just sitting by his bed and holding his hand....you never forget those moments....they are golden....your mother needs you now...go be with her if you can. Take care and God bless to you and your Mother...

 
Old 03-04-2007, 09:12 PM   #4
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Kimslos HB UserKimslos HB UserKimslos HB UserKimslos HB User
Re: My mother is dying.

I was very saddened to read your posting. I had to tell my son when he was 15 that his dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and they only gave him 6-18 months. My son is now 17 and my husband is still here, fighting hard and the days are tougher, but our sons have got to have some very special times with their dad.(we also have a 10 year old) I know it is not fair for someone so young to have to lose a parent. We honestly never thought my husband would have made it to 21 months so try to stay postive as you never know! Even though you live far away from your mom given the world we live in today you have so many ways to get closer to your mom via the phone or computer. Is there a way you can spend some time with your mom during school breaks and during the summer? I will pray that you can get closer to your mom and one day when and if she has passed away you will be able to know you put a smile on your mom's face and made her feel loved.
Kim

 
Old 03-05-2007, 05:47 AM   #5
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conan1017 HB User
Re: My mother is dying.

Hi Danielle-

Kim is right ...it is "if" and "when". My wife is 43 and we have two 16 year olds at home ....and I can tell you that when they support her, I see a big difference in the way she fights this disease.

I know it is a heavy burden to place on such a young person as yourself, but you can make a B-I-G difference in your mom's survival/longevity. I hope you will share with her the things you have shared here. I promise you, it will mean the world to her.

God bless you Danielle,

conan

 
Old 03-06-2007, 09:25 AM   #6
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LuvMyLilDoggie HB UserLuvMyLilDoggie HB UserLuvMyLilDoggie HB UserLuvMyLilDoggie HB User
Re: My mother is dying.

You are so young to be having to deal with this stuff. I know how painful it is to lose your mom. I lost mine 13 years ago. I still miss her.

Spend as much time with your mom as you can. You will both be happy you did. If she's well enough, do some things that you both enjoy together and video tape whatever you can. As the years pass, you will cherish video recordings, letters written in her handwriting, ect...These are all things that are personal between you and her. These things will mean more to you than all the money and gold in the world.

There will be times when you feel like screaming (I screamed into my pillow a LOT at first). There will be times when you feel like crying. Go ahead and let it all out. There may even be times when you feel angry at the disease, at your mom for having it, or just because you're angry. It's important for you to know that it's ok to feel that way. In fact, it's normal. It happens to all of us when we face sadness and loss.

But you also need to know that your mom needs to know that although you'll miss her terribly, you'll honor her memory by living the kind of life that would make her very proud.

Spend time with her. And when you can't be with her, talk to her often on the telephone. Tell her you love her. And as hard as it is, enjoy this time with her. You NEED that and so does she.

Love and big cyberhugs to you!

Barb

PS. I want to add that doctor's aren't always right and you can't always go by the timetables they give. My aunt was battling another type of cancer for years. She was given 1 1/2 years to live at MOST. That was oh about 6 years ago. At 70, she's still going strong. She volunteers at her church and community functions and still walks 4-5 miles a day! The woman never sits down except for a cup of coffee in the morning and at meal times.

So you see, as long as your mom is alive, keep hoping. Try not to look so much at death. Concentrate on the time you have with her.

And please come back as often as you wish to talk to us. It really helps.
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Last edited by LuvMyLilDoggie; 03-06-2007 at 09:39 AM. Reason: typos

 
Old 03-06-2007, 09:40 AM   #7
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Re: My mother is dying.

You are so young to be having to deal with this stuff. I know how painful it is to lose your mom. I lost mine 13 years ago. I still miss her.

Spend as much time with your mom as you can. You will both be happy you did. If she's well enough, do some things that you both enjoy together and video tape whatever you can. As the years pass, you will cherish video recordings, letters written in her handwriting, ect...These are all things that are personal between you and her. These things will mean more to you than all the money and gold in the world.

There will be times when you feel like screaming (I screamed into my pillow a LOT at first). There will be times when you feel like crying. Go ahead and let it all out. There may even be times when you feel angry at the disease, at your mom for having it, or just because you're angry. It's important for you to know that it's ok to feel that way. In fact, it's normal. It happens to all of us when we face sadness and loss.

But you also need to know that your mom needs to know that although you'll miss her terribly, you'll honor her memory by living the kind of life that would make her very proud.

Spend time with her. And when you can't be with her, talk to her often on the telephone. Tell her you love her. And as hard as it is, enjoy this time with her. You NEED that and so does she.

Love and big cyberhugs to you!

Barb
__________________
Live, Love, Laugh.

 
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