Day by day - Cancer: Lung Message Board

heartache35 · 03-26-2007, 10:39 PM

I'm new here, really enjoying reading. My Dad was dianosed with lung cancer that had metastasized to his brain in April of last year. We've been making the most of each day since then, as much as his condition would allow. Some days I could actually convince myself that life was normal and he wasnt sick he did so well. Just this past week his condition has worsened tremendously, and we've been told his time is near. The ones who have been thru this or are going thru it, how do you do it? My heart feels as if it will explode- I've never felt like this, so helpless and heartbroken. How did you cope with your loved one in their last days and keep from going crazy and breaking down? Are there any special things you did to try to keep them comfortable besides the pain meds? My Dad loves music so I play music for him, but other than that I cant think of anything pleasant to do for him. I feel like I cant do this but I know I have to as you all did. Some of you sound so strong- are you not angry? Thx for any advice or input- God Bless

ebrena · 03-27-2007, 01:21 AM

heartache35 you are going through all the natural feelings one goes through during times like this. Just being there is the most pleasant thing you can do for him, be there and talk to him, play the music and enjoy the time together it's very precious. I went through this with my mom and it was the most difficult thing I had ever gone through in my life. I was angry, I was sad, I was scared, I felt helpless and I kept wondering and still do if I did enough. I know I did all I could but more than anything I wanted to keep her and I couldn't whatever was going on was stronger than all of us. My mom just needed to hear my voice and wanted her bedroom door left open always and needed to know I was near by. I really really feel for you at this time it is the most hurtful feeling to see our parent's ill however we can nurture them out of life just as they nurtured us into life. Your doing wonderful.

cher1052 · 03-27-2007, 05:44 AM

Heartache-The music is a really good thing to do-I remember when we stopped my mom's treatments and it was getting rough-my brother burned alot of music that my mom loved-and we played it for her. It helped alot-and my brother-sisters and I prayed. We chatted with her and kept in touch with Hospice. I remember she was so positive that she'd beat it-but it proved her wrong. It was rough and still is-it's been almost 9 mths since she passed away. Take it day by day...my thoughts and prayers, Cherie