| Re: I need perspective....
hi snoopy-
Your situation is very similar to my own, so my heart sincerely goes out to you. I understand what your feeling and thinking. Back in July 06, my wife was diagnosed stage 4 nsclc after discovering she had a colapsed lung due to an obstructive tumor. It was later determined it had spread to the liver and bone. We were shocked and devastated as she was previously in good health and never smoked ...and only 43. I will never forget when the onc sat on the end of her hospital bed and told us that her condition was non-curable.
My wife was hospitalized 3 times in 6 weeks for about a week each visit because she could not get rid of the post obstructive pnuemomia which was behind the tumor blocking the main airway. The oncs never really gave us a timetable, but she was obviously on the fence. People kept dropping hints on me to prepare for the worst. On the third hospitalization I noticed we were just going in circles so I called a meeting with the oncs and demanded that we do something that would give her a chance, so 2 days later she started chemo. They were wanting to wait til the pnuemonia cleared, but that wasn't happening. However, 2 weeks after her first chemo treatment the pnuemonia cleared and we have been battling since. To give you and idea of how she is doing, I had to stop in the middle of writing this to help her get groceries in. That was the first time she has went out by herself and did that much shopping since she was diagnosed.
To give you a brief history of her treatement ....she recieved 10 radiation treatments, 6-7 cycles of chemo (carboplatin/gemcitabine) and is now on Tarceva, a tablet taken once a day that specifically targets cancer cells to prevent further progression. It seems to be working and in turn she is slowly rehabilitaing her physical strengths. Back in August, she could hardly get out of bed ....so I believe there is always hope. The oncs will offer the best educated guess based on the husbands stage and performance status, combined with any other health concerns. Oncs are sometimes the object of criticism and ill feeling because they don't appear concerned enough and don't project the hope we so desperately desire. But it is not their job to give us hope, they are basically scientists. While we greatly rely them for consultation and treatment, we must bridge the gap by doing all we can to encourage, inspire and care for our spouses.
I am out of time for now, but I hope I have in some way been helpful. No one can know for certian what tommorow holds, so we just take each day as it comes and keep striving towards living as much a "normal" life as possible.
conan
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I need perspective.... 
Re: I need perspective.... 
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