Very bad news - Cancer: Lung Message Board

mishymay3 · 09-20-2007, 10:48 PM

Hello everyone. I wanted to let you know that my father who I have posted about several times is doing very badly. He was just diagnosed in February. The doctor is saying he probably only has six months left, but the nurse told us that he is being very generous with that. Dad really doesn't know a time frame but he knows that it is very bad. The only thing left that they said they could do is chemo every three to four weeks but a much lower stength chemo because Dad can't handle it. The nurse really was trying to talk to my step mother and tell her that he will end up in the hospital again if he does any chemo. She also talked about Hospice but he must refuse any further treatment for that. I am not sure what he is going to do yet. I plan to spend the day with him on Sunday at his house. He is in so much pain and so very weak. He is only 55 and looks like he is much, much, older. His weight is so low. It is very difficult to watch someone who didn't get to live the kind of life they wanted to be given a death sentence. I pray that he finds peace and comfort. I am just so sad.

Faith, my prayers and thoughts are always with you.

Michelle

SzanEmmert · 09-23-2007, 03:05 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. My dad is 62 and we are in the "nothing else can be done stage". Where everyday you're just waiting for him to feel worse. The pain in his shoulder in now going into the back.
IT IS SOOOOO HARD TO WATCH. I will be praying for you

Suzanne

snoopy63 · 09-23-2007, 11:55 PM

I am so sorry...I definitely understand what you mean...
my husband was 47 and given his death sentence in March... that was the thing he was sad about...all the things he wouldnt get to do or had planned to do but never did b/c he thought he had plenty of time....

your father sounds at the point my husband was in March...they gave him six months...but I felt that was generous... he lived 4 months... he never did chemo and I think if he did, it would have been too hard on him ad he would have gone even sooner....

I pray for strength and comfort for your father and your family during this time...

HELLASRULES · 09-24-2007, 09:42 AM

Hi Michelle
I'm so sorry your dad is doing so poorly. I pray that he doesn't suffer horribly, as that is my only fear for myself.
I sure wish I had some words of wisdom or something I could do to help.
I just offer my prayers for your dad, and that you can spend some good time with him now.
Many hugs & prayers to you and your dad, Michelle
Faith

jeaniek · 09-24-2007, 11:15 AM

I am so very, very sorry to hear about your Dad.
Hospice tends to discourage any additional chemo treatments, but that doesn't mean that you cannot receive them...it was explained to us that should my Dad decide to go for any additional treatments, he was more then welcome to do them. Hospice wouldn't stand in the way of him receiving them. He was hanging onto the hope of surgery until the very end. My dad wanted to make sure this was so, otherwise he didn't want to do hospice.
The doctor gave my dad 6 months as well, which made us believe we had much more time, but after speaking to the hospice nurse, it turned out that she estimated days to weeks. A huge jump, the dr's (I believe anyways) go by statistics, where the hospice nurses are hand-on all the time and have a much better idea of time frame.
Please be careful on the extra chemo - sometimes it doesn't help much. My father had a lighter dosage about 2-3 weeks prior to him passing - they stopped chemo treatments for about 3 months or so prior to that, since nothing more could be done. They offered the lighter treatment to help with the side f/x of cancer he was feeling - undsteady gait, forgetfulness, tiredness and the tumors he had were growing...he took it but I feel it didn't help him and in fact made his health decline even more...it seemed to speed up his decline - he never got better after. That is just my belief anyways - I think that his body was already tired and worn from the treatments, and this just sped up the inevitable....
Spend as much time as possible with your Dad and try to enjoy every minute-it's hard I know, but the last few weeks me and my father spent together were some of the better moments we had. Whenever I look back, I am very happy to have had that time to spend with him. My Dad was only 56 when he passed, much too young to go - seeing pictures after he passed of what he looked like before he got sick was heartbreaking for me - he was physically so sick....
Take care and a huge hug to you ((hug)) - it'll be hard going through this that's certain, but the best gift we can give to our loved ones at this time is being there during this.
Jeanie