It's Over - Cancer: Lung Message Board

Chance333 · 09-24-2007, 09:56 PM

Hi everyone. I haven't been here for a while. I just wanted to let everyone know what has happened. My dad went for his first chemo treatment on Sept 4. He woke up sick that morning but still went. When he got there they had to give him something for nausea because he was already throwing up before the treatment. Halfway through the treatment he seemed to be out of it, but they said it could be all the medicine. They sent him home and told my mom to make sure he took his nausea medicine and not to worry about his other medicines because they couldn't hardly get him to take anything. He has high blood pressure and also took shots 2 times a day for being diabetic. He stayed sick and wouldn't eat all night. The next day they said to bring him in at 4 o'clock for a shot that was needed 24 hours after chemo. My sister called the doctor twice during the day because daddy kept getting sicker and weaker but they said it was ok. That after they took him to the doctor's at 4. They gave him a shot and sent him home. At about 6 I get a call telling me to go to the emergency room. There I am told that He is dying and probaly won't make it through the night. His breathing is awful. He never needed oxygen until that night.All I could do was hold him and tell him it was going to be ok. They took his morphine patch off to try and bring him around. This just really made me so angry because they told us that the pain is very bad for lung cancer spread to the bones. Finally a doctor came in and gave him the patch back and also gave him more pain medicine.They sent him to a room and we were told that he could have a blood clot or the cancer may have spread to his stomach. I had a hard time with this since they did so many mri's and cat scans on him. How could it be in his stomach in that short of time! The blood clot I don't know about. He did moan when You touched his stomach. The next day he woke up once and said I'm hurting and that was the last thing he said. They kept him medicated and that is what we wanted because we didn't want him to hurt anymore. They wanted to try to take the pain medicine away some so he could say goodbye to us but we all agreed we didn't want to take away his pain medicine just to be selfish.I got to hold him and talk to him when he died. I told him I loved him and thanked him for being a wonderful daddy to me. I told him he was going to a wonderful place,and I told him I was so sorry for him. He died at a little after 7, with me talking to him. I'm heartbroken. I know that noone knows how long you have but God. But they said he probaly had at least a year maybe longer with treatment.Why did they sent him home so sick?My mom wouldn't let them do a autopsy and it was her choice, so what do you do? I wish I knew what happen. I've heard of people dying soon after being told but they said if he done well with treatment he could possibly live longer. My mom is about to have a nervous breakdown. She has been with my dad for 39 years. I don't want to depress anyone because I know that all things are possible with God. I just wanted to explain why I haven't posted and to thank everyone for their prayers. I do find some comfort because my dad didn't suffer as long as some but he still suffered. I know he went to heaven and he isn't in pain anymore. I will still pray for everyone. This is a terrible disease and more research should be done because too many people are dying from this. I only had to see a little bit of what it can do but it was enough. It has scaried me to death. I pray for everyone comfort and possibly remission. Thanks for everyone's help!

snoopy63 · 09-25-2007, 07:32 AM

I just wanted to say I am sorry for what you and your family are going through..I know all too well the pain of this disease as I lost my husband 11 weeks ago tomorrow....he was 47 years old...his 48th birthday would have been this saturday...it will be difficult but like you, I have to tell myself that
it went quickly (4 months) and that he didnt have to suffer for too long...
mine never made it to chemo... he was sched twice but like your father was sick and not up to it....I dont think he really wanted to go through treatment anyway....he was always told he didnt have long.

prayers for strength for you and your family during this diffcult time

mbaresi77 · 09-25-2007, 07:52 AM

Chance,

I am so sorry to hear about the lost of your dad, my thoughts & prayers are with you and your family.. I wanted to quickly reply to your story, I was where you are at 8 months ago.. My Mom was diagnosed with the final stage NSCLC.. She was diagnosed in October 2006. My World crashed when i found out, the family was shocked. My mom was my world, my best friend. Well we had which seemed along road ahead of us.. My mom went for kemo once a week and radiation 5 times a week.. She was soo weak, it broke our hearts. The docs also said with treatment we had a good chance for a year, but unfortunately they were wrong.. My mom passed away in December 2006. She only lived alittle over two months.. I was sooo angry and still am.. i have it in my mind something they did or gave her went wrong.. That she went so fast.. well its been 8 months and the pain is still there as it was that day she passed.. I still cry everytime i talk about her or see pictures of all of us together, I know shes in a better place and we will meet again one day.. My dad is pretty much like your mom.. they have been married for 42 years (he's very lost without my mom). I know he's in alot of pain, I know he misses her soo much as all of us do.. I know this is a very difficult time for you and your family, but eventually your pain will ease, but it will still be there... Just remember all the memories and how much you loved your dad, as you know how much your dad loved all of you... well take care and my prayers are with you..

Toni

Ayre · 09-25-2007, 11:58 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Lots of prayers and hugs to you and yours.

Janmarie2 · 09-25-2007, 01:40 PM

I am sorry to hear about your dad and wish I knew some words to take away the pain but I do not.

Your mom is right in no autopsy as what would it change? It will not bring him back and it probably will not bring what everyone calls closure. I do not think we ever really get closure on the death of a loved one. Instead we find a place for the loss and learn to live with it and the grief becomes a part of us. It tends to change us and we will never be the same person we were before the death but we will move on and create a new self.

As for time frames the doctors give. Please remember the doctors are only human some may like to think they are gods but they are no closer to being a god then you or I and can not see what will happen tomorrow. They base the time frame on stastics and your father is not a stastic he is an individual and will react to the cancer and any treatment in his own way. Plenty of people are told they have a year or more then die within weeks or months and plenty are told they have 6 months to a year and live for 2-3 years or more. Why? Because no one but God knows.

The workings of the human body are a strange and wonderful thing and I do not think we will ever really uderstand all the secrets of it thus things will often be a hit and miss approach to treating illness.

Find comfort in your family and friends and in good memories of your dad. Remember grief is an individual thing too and there is no right or wrong way so don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. I will send prayers for you and your family in hopes that you can find comfort and some peace with your dad's death. JanMarie