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Old 10-21-2007, 10:48 AM   #1
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wendy 39 HB User
"life"

I posted a while ago ...think it was back in April...my husband was diagnosed with stage 3b lung cancer...he had chemo,it shrunk his tumour by 80% , made it operable...he had a complete phnemonoctomy...he was in and out of hostpital after 4 days...he did reaaly well....it was a very risky op....entagled in blood vessels and the heart..they had to cut some of the peridicum...(i think) thats what its called ..outer skin of heart...he had clear margins ......this was in July....3 weeks ago had pet scan found hot spot in femur.....sent for mRI scan showed hot spot also....no pain....he fels fir and well..no symtom sof cancer at all...despite phnemenoctomy....oncologist told us prognosid without treatment ...6 months....with tratment 12-18 months....hes still working and you wouldnt know he had cancer...which makes it more difficult...they suggested raditherapy on femur and chemo for pallitive care.....hes 45 ...and feels he has come this far ....not to give up now....he wants to have the tumour cut out of his femur which means replacing with metal plates from hip to knee....then chemo...he feels this gives him best chance...saw ortho surgeon..hes doing a biopsy next wednesday...he needs to feel as he needs to know its 100% cancer ..because he has no pain..if so he will operate on leg then chemo....
doesnt it feel like wer'e in a different world....why???.....i feel so much for people that have lost partners and relatives on this board..but you never thing its gonna happen to you.....i dont know how to cope ..and im not the one with it....How do you cope???? I feel so lost........
Wendy

 
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Old 10-21-2007, 11:05 AM   #2
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rockie HB User
Re: "life"

Dear Wendy,
I wish there was a magic formula I could spout out, or waive my magic wand. Unfortunately, there are no such things and the only things that keep us going are this: God sees to who stays and goes (takes responsibility out of our hands) and God gives us the strength to keep up the good fight. Win, or lose. Looking back at the two years that my Bud fought so hard and despite his overall good health, lack of other issues and successful chemo, the Lord saw that it was time for another angel to be brought home. Do I feel lost? ABSOLUTELY. It has been almost a year. This last Thur the 18th would have been our 3rd wedding anniversary and I have to admit, it was the worst day besides last Christmas. I cried for two days straight. The pain never goes away, we just become better able to deal with those sudden bouts of loneliness, fear, loss, depression, hopelessness. I realize that what he and I had is gone forever. Never, ever to return again. It was ripped out of our hands. So, what do I do to continue on my own? Well, for one thing, I have become a huge advocate of the American Cancer Socies and its spin-off ACS CAN. I have plunged myself into fund-reaising events for more than just the ACS. I have gotten involved in Habitat for Humanity, Big Brothers Big Sisters, the United Way, and March of Dimes. I have adopted friends as family and become a big sister, buddy and over all, Cook-Du-Jour. They love my cooking, and that is such awesome therapy for me.

Please find peace in knowing that here, we are all walking the same path. The cancer journey is no respector of people. It strikes at will and all we can do, is have hope and believe.

Love, healing, hope, and prayers from So. Indiana
Jan

 
Old 10-22-2007, 01:15 AM   #3
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miyu HB Usermiyu HB User
Re: "life"

have you ever read the book "naturual cures they don't want you to know." ? its kind of a scary book when you are reading about all the satistics and stuff. how the cancer rate along with every other illness out there that can cause death is getting higher and higer. your right to make that comment, "i didn't think it would happen to me" a long time ago you would only hear about it, but never think it would happen to you, and it more likely would not.

now it seems like everyone has to think what illness is going to show its ugly face to you. and if we don't think like that, it just pops up on us and we are shocked and don't know what to do about it. younger and younger people are getting sick, and its really sad whats happening to us. but many people don't open their eyes to see this.

I just lost my mom to lung cancer a few years ago. she was only 44. to me, that is young. that means she was mid life at 20. thats jsut not right. I lost my (not related) uncle to lung cancer, and my friends mother died of it too.

I'm glad that you have a good doctor that is willing to help you as best he can, but you can always do more, like buy everything you want out of a health food store. I usto alway go into a health food store look at juices and foods, and say, "I would like that, but i don't have the money for it. so i will just stick to my regular diet." but then my health problems have been going out the roof. and I'm scared, so if it is really healthy, and cost alot, I buy it now, my health comes first. cloths, dvds, updating my computer, things I would regulary spend my money on, is not on my to do list anymore. I guess you have to make sacrfices.

one thing I bought at the health food store is Goji berries. Goji berries have been grown in protected valleys in wild and cultivated areas of Inner Mongolia in million year-old soil where pesticides have never been used. scientific research, has discovered it is the most powerful fruit, with powerful antioxidant, and is even knowen to extend life. I think its one of the most important health discovery ever made, and many scientis do also, but this is one of the many things "they" don't want you to know. when you can just buy Meds.

but I think sure, take the meds, but also do more. my mother tried to do more, but it wasn't the right things, and the cancer was already agressive. so it was to late for her. and if you are not sick, do more, so you don't get sick, thats the steps I'm doing, I am sick, I have all the things my mother had LONG before it got so bad it became cancer, I feel like my body is warning me.

wehn I lived in china, many very healthy people drank Goji berry tea. so I buy them, make tea, and when I finish the tea, I eat the berries out of the cup. there are many powerful foods out there that people should be eating everyday. but we don't even know about them. I didn't know any of this stuff when my mom was DXed with cancer, but the wake up call was to late for her, but not to late for me, and not to late for you.

i once heard a native elder say knowlege is power, and we need to learn everything from other elders, spending time with them, reading their books... but we don't. an elder also believes that you should be reading one book a week, and not just books for entertainment, but books written by "elders".

that was explaned further that these people are all around us. like Opras doctor, Christiane Northrup, M.D. to me she is an elder, and I can learn alot from reading a book she wrote.

well that is just my reflections after losing my mother to cancer. hope it helps

 
Old 10-22-2007, 01:18 AM   #4
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miyu HB Usermiyu HB User
Re: "life"

you can cure cancer, but the people who did, it has never been by a doctor, but come from you. the doctor was just an aid, not the answer.

 
Old 10-23-2007, 04:42 PM   #5
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rockie HB User
Re: "life"

Miyu,
thank you for the tip on the Goji berries. Never heard of them, but I am a big advocate of foods that have antioxidant and anticancer properties. I grow herbs and brew teas. I will look into them. I live in the Midwest and it's really hard to find ethnic grocery stores unless I were to go to St Louis, Nashville or Indy. But, there is always....Woohoo....Online ordering.

Take care all, thinking about all of you...
Jan

 
Old 10-24-2007, 12:25 PM   #6
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wendy 39 HB User
Re: "life"

Thanks Miyu....i have my husband on several things...shark cartilage...coq10,,green tea...and multivits...i have got some goji berries from Holland and barrat ...thanks for that tip....i will never know if they are doing anything ...but im trying desperatly....he has just come back from having a biopsy of his femur....we will have to wait a week for results...although they say its almost sure its lung cancer spread...but we have to be sure before taking out that bone....thanks for info...
i will say prayers for everyone going through this dreaded disease...its so draining isnt it...
Wendy..xx

 
Old 10-24-2007, 08:45 PM   #7
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snoopy63 HB User
Re: "life"

Hi wendy...
remember me? I just wanted to give you a quick (((hug)))) and say that I am sorry that this is happening...
it just seems to me if there is just the one "hot spot" that it would be easily fixed... but maybe they are just thinking other places that havent formed yet?? I dont know... I just know this disease sucks big time...it is just relentless...

That is good though your husband is a fighter...and it seems to me that given that he is working etc that 6 months seems unfair...I mean..my husband was given 6 and he was already unable to work and very sick and had a lot of growths...unfortuntely he only made it four...but you hopfully see where I am coming from... he should be able to withstand some chemo etc... mine was too sick and only had about 8 radiation treatemnts to one tumor.... they never did a scan but with his pain etc I am sure he would have lit up like a christmas tree! So I am surprised they are only saying 6 w/o
treatment... is this small cell? or NSC?

anyway...lots of payers for strength for you and him during this....
it is definitely not an easy road no matter what is at the end...
I am sorry....

 
Old 10-25-2007, 04:15 AM   #8
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wendy 39 HB User
Re: "life"

Hi snoopy....im sorry about everything that you have been through ..how are you bearing up? You read these posts..but you never think its going to get that bad for you....my husband is working still....he has no pain whatsover anywhere..everyone says how well he looks ...this what makes it difficult to believe...if biopsy reesults come back positive which they suspect they will has it has lit up on pet and mri scan..they will take his hip ball joint out and most of his femur and replace it with metal pins...to me he has been through so much already...he first started with chemo ...then he had a total lung removal which they claaim was succesfull...he healed well..but they say must be in blood stream to spread to femur...so it could be sitting anwhere and to small to show up on pet scan at the moment....but my hubbys attitude is to get the femur tumour out and blast with chemo.....he is so strong...i look at him in amazement..i know i couldnt havegot through what he has..it is non small cell lung cancer....i wander if the doctors reaaly do know how lung he has...he is 45 he now no lunger has the primary tumour and hes strong to fight on...i shall never understand it...what do anyone of us going through life with this do to deserve it...i keep asking myself why???
Thanks for thinking about me...
Take care
Wendy..xx

 
Old 10-26-2007, 09:47 PM   #9
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miyu HB Usermiyu HB User
Re: "life"

OH yeah, I read a really good book, "natural cures they don't want you to know" after reading it, I started searching more of the products he was talking about. things we don't know about. goji berries is one. he also talkes about how depleted our food is compared to 50 years ago. but that the best vit/min you should be taking are whole food vitimins. from the health food store. as even the vitimins we are taking have really bad stuff in it, and are man made, not natural. I guess I'm lucky here in my city we have so many health food stores, I have one right by my house. the food sold in it is more expencive, but that is were I always go now. I get Organic nearly everything. but I still eat alot of really bad food, but i'm spending the money to make the changes.

sorry what I wanted to mention to you was to check his PH ballance, and check yours too. you can get PH strips from the Health food store, or get them on line if you don't have a health food store. but after reading about PH in this book I did some of my own research. everything has a PH level. but there is an acidic PH or an Alkaline PH. cancer can not grow in an alkaline enviornment.

5.5 6 6.5 7 7.5

anything below 6.5 is acidic, and bad, anything 6.5 - 7.5 is what the avrage adult is. it is middle, but not perfect, but it is what nearly everyone is. but just because the PH of nearly every adults is 6-7 doesn't mean its healthy. as we know many adults in america and canada are very unhealth.

all children seem to have a PH of 8 or 9 alkaline
all adults seem to be 6.5- 7 middle
all cancer patience seem to be between 4-5.5 acidic

these readings show that with age we lose our PH, and allow cancer to grow. cancer can not grow in an alkaline enviroment. but with age we lose our PH and become acidic and allow an envorment for cancer.

you can change that by eating alkaline foods, and keeping away from most acidic foods. I even heard that Ozone water (water with extra Oxygen) can boost your PH. (cancer cannot live in an enviroment high in Oxygen) so check you PH it is very important and keep checking it so you don't drop with out knowing.

Last edited by miyu; 10-28-2007 at 12:06 AM.

 
Old 11-01-2007, 07:48 AM   #10
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wendy 39 HB User
Re: "life"

Thanks Miyu..
I certainly will look into PH Balance....My husbands results of biopsy came back, he has a lung tumour in the soft marrow of his femur...I still cant get my head around the fact they say hes terminal ..6months without treatment 12-18 months with..he has had his primary tumour out a complete lung removal...the scan shows no activity in his chest now...his recovery from that was remarkable...he was in hostpital four days only....now its in his leg..they cant see any uptake anywhere else...so now the plan of action is to zap the bone with radiotherapy for a week everyday and then taxotare and carboplatin...he had chemo before he had his lung out and tolerated it reasonably well...so im hoping for the same ....i just dont uderstand how its still classed as terminal when there is just i lesion spread and now no primary tumour.....Why Why Why.....can anyone help me understand???
Lets all keep praying...
Wendy

 
Old 11-01-2007, 11:36 AM   #11
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Janmarie2 HB User
Re: "life"

Wendy,

You will drive yourself crazy asking "why? ". No one can ever answer that as the only answer may really be this is life.My advice to you is do not listen to the time frame the doctors give you as they are just stastics and your husband is not a stastic he is an individual human being and how much time he has left on this earth is between him and God, no one else.

Once lung cancer is found outside the lung it is stage IV and those are the stastics you are being given. Remember the stastics take in every stage IV NSCLC patient and many of those are elderly people with advanced COPD and or heart disease. My mom was diagnosed at age 80 with stage IV NSCLC and had no other health issues and she was told 6 months no treatment maybe a year with treatment . Her mets were in the liver yet she opted for treatment and lived another 2.5 yrs and most of it was very good quality time .The 2nd line treatment she got Tarceva which wiped out the actual lung tumor and it never came back and it wiped out some of the liver mets but the liver mets did eventually start growing again. She did finally decide to stop chemo as 4th line chemo was too much as it left her so fatigued she sat all day.When she did die she was not in liver failure which is how we all expected the end but rather I think she had a pulmonary embolism( blood clot in her lung) from her inactivity.Had that not happened who knows how much longer she would have lived?

Learn to look at the cancer as a calling card rather then a death sentence. That may sound weird but look at how many people die suddenly and loved ones never got to say good bye or even I love you. Your husband has been handed a calling card saying death maybe in the not so far off future so live life, enjoy each day, say I love you, make new memories .

Not one of us knows when we will die , your husband included, you or I could drop dead in the next minute from hundreds of different causes we just do not know. Getting the cancer calling card really does not change the playing field when you stop to think of it. It just gives you an advantage so use it and make the most of it. My friend's mom died suddenly in her sleep one night, they had to deal with the anger that caused, they wondered when was the last time I told her I loved her ?Was I even talking to her before she died or had we had some silly fight? My mom died of NSCLC, we had that calling card and we took it and lived and I know what the last thing I said to my mom was and I know we all told her we loved her . She died knowing what she meant to all of us. She died with all of us around her, a very peaceful transition to the next life. Yes I miss her everyday but who could have asked for a more perfect ending to a great life? We all will die that is a given so maybe those of us that get these calling cards are the lucky ones as we get to wrap up our life and say good bye to our loved ones.

Yes your husband is young but death does not look at age.A friend of mine just lost her 19 yr old daughter to cystic fibrosis but she does not waste time asking why?, neither did her daughter. Her daughter LIVED, she crammed more into those 19 yrs then many of us do in 80 yrs as she knew her life would be short, she got her calling card shortly after birth. She loved life and she lived life. Her life was short but oh what a great life it was. No it is not easy but it is just life and there are no Why's to it. Hope this helps you some. JanMarie

 
Old 11-01-2007, 05:14 PM   #12
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rockie HB User
Re: "life"

Awesome reply JM....love ya
Jan

 
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