Help me understand why my Mother continues to smoke after nsclc diagnosis - Cancer: Lung Message Board

kjonesin · 11-06-2007, 08:06 AM

Can anyone help me understand why my mother continues to smoke after receiving diagnosis of non small cell lung cancer?

carol1961 · 11-06-2007, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kjonesin

Can anyone help me understand why my mother continues to smoke after receiving diagnosis of non small cell lung cancer?

i can totally understand your frustration...as my Dad smoked almost up to the day he passed w/ nsclc an my Mom who is battling sclc is still smoking...some of it can be denial that the smoking caused it....people who are still smoking...have heard how bad it is...some are addicted to the nicotine...which is real....and hard to beat on your own...but many...although they may not admit it publically...as it is not politically correct... do truly enjoy it and are not ready to give it up. Smokers also feel that smoking helps to relieve stress...they feel better...and isn't getting a cancer diagnosis stressful? There can also be a belief that it is too late now to make a difference so why bother....

We have struck a compromise w/ my Mom...she took new smoking pill...Chantrix(sp?)...and was able to go from a 50 year habit of 2.5 packs (40-50 cigerettes a day) ...to having an average of about 8 cigerettes a day...she still has the cigerettes she enjoys...but even the DR. has crontulated her on the dramatic reduction...quitting or reducing...may not change the ultimate outcome...but we were told it would help to make treatment more successful...and at the very least ...make her breathing more comfortable as she goes through the didease process. I am proud of her for the reduction she has made...and am understanding that these are HER life issues and choices...and are supporting her in that.

Don't be upset w/ your Mom for not quitting...but ask her Dr. about medications that may help her...or at least dramatically reduce the amount she feels the need to smoke...she may be willing to compromise like my mom did...and help herself feel better as she battles this...hope this helps...

kjonesin · 11-07-2007, 07:19 AM

Thank you for your reply to my post regarding my Mother's smoking. Since my mother's diagnosis, I have been experiencing so many emotions (sadness, dread, panic, etc.). For the past week, I have been struggling with anger over the smoking. I almost feel that she chose smoking over me. Her choice to smoke will ultimately leave me without a mother and my grandchildren without a grandmother. Every time she goes to the doctor she reports back that the doctors see no point in quitting since the cancer is so advanced or that this kind of cancer might not have been caused by smoking. It is as if she is in denial which really frustrates me. Being able to write this here is making me feel better already...I realize that I am experiencing anticipatory grief and that I will be able to work through this. I know that this is really not about me and that I need to set this anger aside and support her through this difficult process.

carol1961 · 11-07-2007, 07:46 AM

I know what an emotional whirlwind it is for us the family members...can even start to imagine what my mom is feeling that she keeps from us...I have found being able to write to people who understand what i am going thru helps as well...there are so many things that people have chosen (like smoking) and so many other things beyond any contious choices they make that may lead to cancer that it is not worth blaming the cancer on...life ...as we all learn is way to short for that...take care...and keep in touch...c

snoopy63 · 11-07-2007, 09:31 PM

I am sorry for what you are going through...
my husband was diagnosed in March with NSCLC and died in July he was only 47....he never quit smoking and in fact at time actually smoked more....
I dont know your mom's situation...in my husbands case...the damage was done... there was no hope... smoking wasnt going to make it worse... not smoking would have just made him more miserable... I have read there are studies that show that smoking after LC diagnosis doesnt hasten death....

The only thing would be...if she has a chance of it going into remission..then if she didnt stop she would have a higher chance of recurrance... however..you are saying it is advanced which sounds to me they dont expect her to make it.... honestly... like in my case... it is hard for us b/c we know that there is a good chance their past choices are what is taking them away from us... but at this point...it really wont make a difference in your mom's case... I hated that my husband still smoked... I hated being the one to buy the cigarettes... I still have part of that last awful carton 4 months after his death... but I knew when he was diagnosed that it would only make his time left here more miserable if he tried to quit...and there really wasnt a point to it... I just let it go....

he always told me that nicotine is the most addictive drug...more so than other "harder" drugs... he tried to quit a few times during our marriage...

anyway...good luck to you...and I am sorry for all of this awfullness....
I lived the nightmare....its not easy...

peace be with you!