My friend had the enoscopy and cleared the bile duct and also got a bioposy of the tumor. We felt she was lucky not to have the trauma of surgery to unblock it.
The Doc said she has maybe three months as it was so advanced but possibly with chemo longer, you just don't know, everyone is different. My problem is that she does not know and i am sure doesn't want to ask how long she has. We don't know what to do, tell her o not. She is blssed for being ignornat of this cancer I think. I take herto an oncologist next week or this week and I have a feeling he may tell her ( not sure)
Last night she ate for the first ime in three weeks and we were all excited to see that.
I asked the Doc about the pain that will come as I hav heard this is very painful. He wrote it iff like it ws nothing, they have pain management. Cansomeone help me with this. Will the pain meds helps her. I mean I guess I am so upset over this woman, she is so sweet and thinking she is going back to work at 70.
My fears in telling her the time limit may destroy her will and then again I think I would want to know but I am just afriend not a family. Her sister in law is here and she doesn't know what to do either, but she has to go bak to Ny today.
I want to help her as much as I can and do the right thing..Please someone give me some support here with this. I am sure a lot of you have gone through this. I think maybe if she knows, she might dcided to go home with family and then again I am not sure she will do that till she gets to the oncologist and hears more..I's tough, to know the right thing.
She isn't in pain now with the duct cleared infact she ate pretty decent last night after three weeks of nothing but boost and water. Her spirits are good but she has the blessing of ignorance here in this. Venting venting.
Thank you all I have no where else to turn at this point for support excpet God and I need words right now..Sandy
This is hard. I dont think anyone can give you the answer here, but I do know that I myself have to know whats going on at all times. Especially if it were situation of a few months remaining, Id want to know so that I could take advantage of that time to the fullest and not miss a moment with the people I love while I still could. I think that by being completely ignorant of the facts I would be worried Id miss out by waiting to do some of the things I maybe should not have waited to do.
Thats just my reasoning, and as a friend I think you should definitely perhaps advise her sister, but I would certainly let the immediate family handle it the way they best feel possible. It is only my personal opinion, but yes, I would want to know.
Sorry its not too much help but its the only opinion I can offer.
Sandy I am sure the Onco will tell her the situation. She will then be able to have chemo if she chooses quanity of life or quality of life with medication. My niece passed peacefully in her sleep three weeks ago. She had pancreatic cancer that had spread to several other organs. She had a Morphine patch and also took oral medications for sleep, indigestion, etc.
I , myself, would not feel "blessed" not knowing about my cancer because this is why I am now re-evaluating my life and mending things. Making peace with the past and making each day count. Perhaps she would also feel like I do. If you are not sure what the Onco is going to do take him aside and ask him.
My Onco is one of the top and my cancer treatment center is also but he said, when I asked him about side effects, "Sore throat. There are meds." That was all he said. I know, however I am in good hands so he really needs to say nothing to me at all.
Actually my ENT told me about my cancer. Then I went to the Onco. Did she have a followup with the original doctor who sent her for tests?
Thanks you for your answers. Her daughter flew down yesterday and she took her back to her regular Doc today. He will do blood tests again on Thursday. She knows she has cancer, doesn't know how long she has. The family is having her fly up to NY and take her to Sloan Kettering I think that is the name.
They won't start chemo for two weeks because of her weight now, she was so small anyway and needs to buld up a bit he said. She is in no pain which is why he was still shocked that that she is so advanced with it all.
But she has been eating since the the duct was cleared and they want the jauntice to be gone before chemo.
It is amazing she feels so good the Doc said. I wasn't there today so I don't know if they told her the time limit? But I am sure it is just time before she will find out if she doesn't know already and trying to keep it from us! Which would be typical of her.
I agree I would want to know and yes it will be up to the family and the center up there to tell her. I just felt it was a blessing she didn't know about the pain associated with this, yet now I hear they control it better?
Thank you all for the thoughts and help.
The pain management for GI cancers like that has definitely come along way, but if any blessing can be found in this, the fact shes not in pain as it is is very encouraging, at least from the standpoint of making her time more enjoyable. Hopefully it will continue that way.
Pain control has come a long way for some cancers. My husband, though he had bone cancer and brain cancer, really only suffered less than a week before he passed on and my firends father many years before was put into a straight jacket before he died because he was in such pain from his bone cancer he was clawing out his eyes.
My niece, Flaura, had some pain but nothing compared to years ago. She was kept fairly sedated and as I said, died peacefully in her sleep. My prayers are with your friend and she is now in the hands of her Angel who will be there for her at all times.
Thank you Misty and Ply 4 me. I know the Angels are with her and I know she she knows they are there. But there is comfort in hearing it and knowing that we have come a long way with pain relief for everything. (Thank God)
Bless you all and this board for being here.