My dad was DX about a month ago, stage 4 spread to liver and bones. He has turned yellow now, and has no energy at all. He went on chemo (today is his third time) for pain management and to buy time, but the dr told us today it does not look as though it is working otherwise he would feel btr. They may pull him off chemo next week and that point we call hospice.
I think the end stage varies from what I understand. I can tell you this has happened VERY fast. Just two months ago I was out there and everything was fine, dad joking around etc...he was just a little tired and had started to lose weight, the next week he was very tired and depressed...thought it was a side effect of meds or his heart condidition...week later he was dx.
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: k2626 heleenk (11-02-2010), porlora (10-02-2011)
It is different for everyone. For my friend the last few days it was refusal to eat. She slept most of the time and stopped communicating except for one or two words.
My Dad was just DX last week, He was losing weight, and having up to 4 bowel movements a day, all cream in color.
This has been going on for a couple of months, I took him to the Dr. who got him in for a cat scan within a few days, the Cat scan was on Friday, and the Dr. called him on Monday, however my Dad is very hard of hearing and did not hear or understand anything the Dr. told him. I spoke to the Dr. 2 days later who informed me that the Cat scan had shown both the head and the tail of the pancreas had a tumor and there was alot of "stranding".
He also noted end stage Liver disease (My Dad has never Drank any alcohol).
The Dr. stated that at 87 years old, and the amount of tumor, there was no treatment that he could do, as it was in-operable, and no Chemo, or Radiation that could help him without being cruel.
So that is my story, and I was just looking for direction of what to try and expect or sign of the disease speeding up and when to contact the Sibs.
Who now all now he has Pancreatic Cancer , but would like to try to come home for the end.
Again thanks for the reply and anyone else who has an opinion, I would welcome it.
Steve I am so sorry you are going through this. This has been very very difficult for me and my family. I can tell you in my exp it has progressed very very fast. I feel like it was just yesterday he was dx, and it was really just a month ago--amazing. My brother moved in with him to help him as he lives alone, he has definately needed the help. I suspect your dad may begin feeling weak soon, but as Mel said it is different for everyone.
I went to AZ as soon as we heard he could have cancer, it was important to me to see him when he was still some what healthy. I try to go out every other weekend now. Sounds like you live nearby which is nice.
Hey Thanks for the latest, every bit of info I get, will help me get an idea of what to expect, even though I do know every one is different, I am just trying to get ready and my Mom and Sibs ready.
Thanks Again
STeve
Steve, I am sorry you are having to deal with this in your family. My nephew's grandfather on the other side of the family was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few months after my best friend was. He was 90. He was always healthy so it was a surprise. He opted to have no treatment. The cancer also spread to his lymph glands apparently and his neck was very swollen. I think he lived 3 months at the most from his diagnosis. I don't have the details but apparently it was a rough last month.
Steve,
I am sorry you are going through all this. I will say a prayer for you. I don't know exactly what you are going through with the pancreatic cancer part, but I lost my mom from stage 4 lung cancer.
Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
My dad, who just turned 65, was diagnosed on July 4th. He was given 8-12 weeks. We are now in week 4. He is very thin, very jaundice, but still very funny, and very accepting of what is happening. He is becoming weaker, eating less and spending more time lying flat (he says this is most comfortable). My dad is committed to dying at home, and our local hospice has been fantastic. I live nearby, so I am able to be with him and mom everyday. This has been a tough progression, but really it's been tougher for the family than for my dad. He keeps telling us how lucky he is to be able to make sure that everything is taken care of before he goes. He has been to his bank, his lawyer, his pension office....he has gone through all the photographs and momentoes and has told us of every detail of how he would like his service. My dad and I have shared moments that I know we never would have, had we not known. It's sad that we inevitably take our loved ones for granted. We all know that we will leave this world one day, and for my dad, he is leaving on his terms. I still breakdown and cry everyday, I will miss him terribly, I'm angry that this is happening now, but I am so thankful that my dad loves us so much that he is making it as easy as possible. I know the days ahead will be rough, watching him decline. I can only hope that it is a quick progression for him.
Try to find something to make you smile everyday.....it helps.
My thoughts and prayers to you during this tough time.
Wow what a comfort, Thanks for your info, I am suspecting My Dad is going the way of yours, He is getting thinner and thinner, and want's to eat less and less, He falls asleep in his chair and snoozes alot, even when folks come to visit.
The last of my sibs, who live far away in Texas, Arizona, and N. Carolina have been here to visit and make nice memories, whilst he is still alert and still up and moving.
My dad was dx at the end of May. We suspect he may pass tomorrow or the following day. I can tell you this disease spreads rapidly. I live in CA, but have been coming to AZ every week, my sister lives here and my brother moved here on a temp basis to care for my dad. Use this time to capture as many memories you can. We have all also gone over old times, shared funny stories, gone through pictures, had deep talks, and have made a ton of memories thoughout this journey. Even now, as he is bed ridden we can still get smiles out of him and a laugh every now and there. It only gets harder but with your support it will make it so much easier.
I am dreading the next few days as I am going to miss my father so much, however, I also do not want to see him suffer any longer.
You both are in my thoughts, this is a tough road to be on....
Thanks, and many blessing to you, I kinda think we in this room, have been a given a gift of time, and a chance to say good bye, At this time my Dad is not in to much pain, and I am gratefull for that.
Once again, Bless you and your family in the next few days, and peace be with your Dad, as he crosses over.
Yes you are right, you do have the blessing of time. My dad actually said the same thing to me, though this is hard..he said it makes him so happy that we are spending so much time together and can make more memories etc. Like he said, either way death is not easy so at least we do have the time. My father has not been in too much pain either, thank God. He has been uncomfortable with gas pains but the percoset helps that. His main complaint has been the need to go to the bathroom a lot and the terrible weakness. Pretty much right after his DX he was confined to the couch and took him a lot to walk. Your father will definately need someone to assist 24/7 as time moves on, assistance in making meals, getting up, etc. My brother is helping my father off the toilet at this point.
I have been lucky enough to fly out every week as I live in CA and Dad is in AZ. Not everyone is so lucky to be able to do this due to distance, etc. However, if your family plans on going at the end, please do know there may be little communication from him at that time. If your family wants to build more memories etc, I would suggest them flying out when he is in a more healthy state. Also, I have found it hard to predict when the end is actually near (within a week). There have been two times prior to this that I thought it was the end, yet it wasnt. Now I am pretty sure it is very soon, though again I could be wrong. It is amazing how strong the human body actually is...Typically they say however that the patient knows when the end is near and may express that. I hope this info helps you some on your journey..
Good luck to you and write any time.
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Hey Thanks again, and as always ths board has given me some more insight, My Dad has been plagued with Gas pain, only, and so far that is the major complaint, and that the pressure makes him get up several times at night with the feeling he has to go to the bathroom but finds it is in fact only gas. Other than that he just gets tired and finds it harder and harder to eat much, He claims he has trouble getting food down, then once it is down he feels so full almost at once. We started him on Ensure almost from the begining, at that has helped.
As for the Family again almost at once, Sibs came for visits, one From Phoenix for 10 days, one from N. Carolina for 3 days, one from Texas for a week.
so everyone has had a good visit before any real onset of symptoms.
Hi Steve, I am glad this board has been helpful, it has for me as well. My father complained (not as much now) of gas pains too. He also often felt he had to go to the restroom but it was often gas, though he did start getting bowel movements everytime after he ate. He too ate less, I think it is due to the bloating (which gets worse), general loss of appetite, and also the fact that he knew he would need to use the restroom after he ate (which was hard for him due to the weakness). Its amazing how little he ate and eats that he has so many BM.
Hi Steve - my stepchildren's Mom was diagnosed over a year ago with pancreatic cancer with liver involvement and she is now at the end stages of the disease. She was taking oral chemotherapy up until about a week ago, she has a tube in her abdomen so hospice nurses can drain fluid every other day. She is in constant pain, barely eats, cries alot, can hardly get out of bed, and sleeps all the time. My only wish is she does not linger. It is hard on her and is harder on those she is leaving behind to watch her suffer. May god bless you and your family and give you the strength.
Thanks for the info, Our latest Event, is that my Dad became really jaundice. His Doctor went in and put a stint in his bial duct, This took away the Jaundice in a couple days and even helped his appetite, He can't eat near as much as he used to but he is not gagging on every bite, Which is good, He also has been really good about taking his Ensure, and that is helping his weight.
Other than that he just is sleeping a little more each day, but has not complained of any pain.
The only other new thing has been he gets bought of incontinance, that comes and goes at the most inconvienant times. As always thanks for the responses and keep them coming, Every little bit of Info really does help.
God Bless all
I am having a very unique problem that I need advice about. My best friend was DX with a very rare T-cell lymphoma. She has tumors that have turned into big open sores on her legs. She just went in about 2 months ago with pancreatitis and also had her gall bladder removed. They found 7 nodules on her pancreas, but they never did a biopsy on them because she refused. She recovered fine from her surgery and she is home now, but she just started getting a new symptom. She is suddenly VERY weak and tired all the time. It has been 8 months since she was first diagnosed and she has never gone back to the doctor for a follow up visit or any treatment. She did this because her CRAZY husband and his family think that they can "natually" cure her themselves. She is not even seeing a homeopathic doctor. I have tried and tried to talk to her about going to the doctor but she is very terrified of Chemo and modern medicine. She will not listen to me and I can see the progession of this disease. She really believes that her and her husband can cure this. I am very afraid that she is in denial about all of it. Her family is not in the state. They live quite far away and she is lying to them about her condition. They have NO idea about the tumors in her legs or her pancreas. Her own mother thinks that she's fine. She doesn't want anyone to know. I don't feel like I can influence her to go to the doctor - I think she is afraid of what she might hear. Do I go behind her back and contact her family and tell them the truth???? I'm not sure what to do. Would that be betraying my friend - or should her family know?
