It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Cancer: Pancreatic & Liver Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-13-2010, 02:17 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 4
faye333 HB User
Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

My ex has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, I have a 6yr old son with him and would like to get an idea of how long I have to prepare my son for the worst. If anybody has any experience of a similar story I would be really grateful for any advice.

He has been told it's between stages 2 & 3, he is now diabetic because of the illness, he has had two stents fitted - one for jaundice, the second for sickness / nausea. He gets tired just walking up the stairs. Although the jaundice looks better since the stent has been fitted his skin still has a strange colour to it. He was around 16 stone before but has lost 4 and a half stone in approx 3 months.

I know long term the prognosis is poor, what I am struggling with is not knowing if he has 2 months or 2 years left, I know nobody can tell me a definative answer & he still has'nt seen oncology or started chemo yet. I find it scary as an adult I can't imagine how frghtening this must all seem to a small child.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-14-2010, 11:24 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif, USA
Posts: 1,531
Mel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB User
Re: Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

hi, where has the cancer spread to? It sounds like you are describing liver involvement. Why has no chemo been started? It is hard to determine how much time probably because the drs don't know. Chemo can buy some time and if he is stage 2 some people do beat the odds and get alot more time. Can you provide more info?

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-15-2010, 01:26 AM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 4
faye333 HB User
Re: Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

He has'nt seen oncology yet as he was offered an appt with the registrar or told he could wait to see the consultant which may be more beneficial so that's what he decided to do. Not sure about if it's spread or if it has where to, he says the same as he never got the results of last ct scan I guess it's all with the consultant at oncology. He goes to see them weds this week. I guess as it's stage 2-3 that it's started to spread, his second stent was for his stomach as he could'nt keep food down. He can eat small quantities of food now so some improvement.

Thanks for any help, it's so hard to know how much to tell my son, as I have no idea if his dad will still be around in 2 yrs time which in a 6 yr old's life is a lifetime.

 
Old 03-15-2010, 08:34 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif, USA
Posts: 1,531
Mel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB User
Re: Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

Faye, I am glad he is going this Wednesday. Stage 2 he might be a candidate for the whipple surgery. This is a fast moving disease. Has the dr suggested Ensure to drink to make sure he gets nutrients? If possible take lots of pictures, have your ex write notes to your son. I lost my dad when I was almost 4. I don't have alot of pictures but I have a book he wrote, and interviews he wrote. It gives me a sense of who he was. Someday, your son will want to know what his dad was all about.

 
Old 03-16-2010, 12:56 PM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 4
faye333 HB User
Re: Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

Mel I so sorry to hear about your dad. I can't imagine how difficult it is to grow up not knowng someone that should have been such a big part of your life.

He was told at the start they could'nt operate. As far as I m aware chemo is his only option at the moment, but will find out more tomorrow. He is having the ensure drinks and they have just started him on creon too. What I find really hard is not knowing how long he has left. Will post on here once I know a bit more.

 
Old 03-16-2010, 04:28 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif, USA
Posts: 1,531
Mel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB User
Re: Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

Thanks Faye, though I could never replace my dad,I was raised by a great second dad, my biological dad is always around in my memories.
Regarding your ex, good luck tomorrow. Hopefully you will get alot of answers. I doubt the question of how long he has will be answered though. My best friend was diagnosed at stage 4, she lived a year from diagnosis. It was obvious when she was near her end. She slept alot, became confused and stopped eating.

 
Old 03-19-2010, 12:43 PM   #7
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 4
faye333 HB User
Re: Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

Well, he is going to start a chemo trial on Monday, but they have told him that his prognosis is only 6 - 12 months with chemo. He was so upset and said there was so much more he wanted to do with his life & when I said he still had time to do some stuff he said that he already feels like every day is a battle. All I've said to my son so far is that the specialist has said they can't make him better but they are going to give him some really strong medicine to try and help him.

I guess we are lucky as we do have a stable home life so at least that will remain the same throughout the tough times ahead, but it sounds like my ex has already given up. Dreading putting my son through this, he has never lost anybody, so to go through this just feels so cruel for him & his dad. Sad thing is we would'nt let a dog suffer yet we insist on dragging it out as long as possible for the ones we love. I would rather be allowed to go quickly & peacefully xx

 
Old 03-19-2010, 10:10 PM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif, USA
Posts: 1,531
Mel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB User
Re: Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

Faye, sorry to hear his prognosis. The chemo might buy him some time. My girlfriend was given 8 months. She made it a year. Alot depends on how he responds to the chemo.
I too would rather go quickly, but I haven't been in that situation. I questioned why did my friend even bother, but she never gave up and kept trying to beat it. I don't know what I would actually do if I were in that situation and hopefully won't have to find out.

 
Old 04-07-2010, 08:36 PM   #9
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6
Gracie0418 HB User
Re: Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

Quote:
Originally Posted by faye333 View Post
Well, he is going to start a chemo trial on Monday, but they have told him that his prognosis is only 6 - 12 months with chemo. He was so upset and said there was so much more he wanted to do with his life & when I said he still had time to do some stuff he said that he already feels like every day is a battle. All I've said to my son so far is that the specialist has said they can't make him better but they are going to give him some really strong medicine to try and help him.

I guess we are lucky as we do have a stable home life so at least that will remain the same throughout the tough times ahead, but it sounds like my ex has already given up. Dreading putting my son through this, he has never lost anybody, so to go through this just feels so cruel for him & his dad. Sad thing is we would'nt let a dog suffer yet we insist on dragging it out as long as possible for the ones we love. I would rather be allowed to go quickly & peacefully xx
I am a brand new member of this site, I had to reply to your message I couldn't agree more. My husband of almost 20 years was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, stage 4.It is excruciating watching him suffer everyday , crying in pain. He constantly says he doesn't want to do this anymore. I know it may sound cold but I can't wait until it is over. I can't bear to see him like this anymore.

 
Old 04-07-2010, 09:18 PM   #10
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Denver
Posts: 38
paticake35 HB User
Re: Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

I know the prognosis isn't good, but I have known many people who have lived far beyond expectations. If your ex can be treated right away and possibly become eligible for surgery, there is a chance for him to beat this. I am sorry your son has to experience all of it. Hang in there.

Last edited by moderator2; 04-08-2010 at 05:10 AM. Reason: please do not post websites except as described in the Posting Policy

 
Old 04-07-2010, 10:24 PM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif, USA
Posts: 1,531
Mel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB UserMel52 HB User
Re: Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

Gracie, I am sorry about your husband. I certainly understand what you are saying. I hated seeing my best friend in pain. She was always so strong. As kids she protected me. It was just so heartbreaking to see her resort to rocking to comfort herself when the pain was so bad. It's such a helpless feeling.

 
Old 04-08-2010, 01:23 PM   #12
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 376
mabent HB Usermabent HB Usermabent HB Usermabent HB User
Re: Advice on pancreatic cancer life expectancy please

Faye - Have your ex's doctors suggested Hospice care? My sister also had pancreatic cancer and lived one year after the diagnosis. She decided against chemo because of all the side effects; plus they told her it could only prolong her life a few months, if that. Hospice really helped her get through that year as comfortably as possible. They would also give you and your son much-needed support. You can find lots of information about it on the Internet.
I'm so sorry. Mabent

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
how long does a person with pancreatic cancer live annette31 Cancer: Pancreatic & Liver 8 05-05-2011 08:51 PM
pancreatic cancer end stage what to expect slavkadraskovic Cancer: Pancreatic & Liver 5 12-03-2008 11:41 PM
Pancreatic Cancer santaclaws50 Cancer: Pancreatic & Liver 0 03-29-2008 09:17 PM
pancreatic cancer mysticdolphin80 Cancer: Pancreatic & Liver 4 03-28-2008 10:15 PM
Do Teens Get Pancreatic Cancer? allen93 Cancer: Pancreatic & Liver 6 07-14-2007 07:52 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:17 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!